Next month will be my last appointment before the doctor and I schedule my surgery. At this point I don't have fear of the surgical procedure, but I have fear of what I will look and be like after. I've always been the big guy, and I feel some fear of being smaller almost as if I don't deserve to lose the weight. Has anyone else had this type of aneixty? Or is it just a stupid irrational Fear I have?

First of All welcome to the Best decision of your LIFE...

The Emotional Rollercoaster is perfectly NORMAL at this point. Most importantly to Always remember to stay FOCUSED... Good Luck & Prayers for Calmness & to relieve you of Anxiety ????

Half of the battle is realizing it is just that - irrational fear

We are our own worse enemies sometimes. It's perfectly normal to be fearful of this. I couldn't even sleep while I was making the decision to go for it. Believe me I found every possible reason not to do it known to man. Eventually I came to my senses and realized this is about health, not my irrational fear about what might or might not happen.

Good luck. This is a process and we have to go through all the stages.

Next month will be my last appointment before the doctor and I schedule my surgery. At this point I don't have fear of the surgical procedure, but I have fear of what I will look and be like after. I've always been the big guy, and I feel some fear of being smaller almost as if I don't deserve to lose the weight. Has anyone else had this type of aneixty? Or is it just a stupid irrational Fear I have?

It may be an irrational fear, but that doesn't make it stupid. I have been heavy all my life and, as I start this journey myself, I have some concerns about who will come out the other side. You see, I've always been single and that was easy to take BECAUSE I've always fat. So I've been able to tell myself, "Well, if I was -thin- THEN they'd want me. It's only because of my weight that I'm being rejected."

But what happens if I get the surgery, lose all this weight, and then get rejected ANYWAY? Then it won't be the weight that's being rejected. It'll be *ME*! And even worse, after the bypass I won't be able to turn to cakes and and candies and all the "wonderful" comforting stuff like that that's always been my "only friend."

So, yeah. We're headed towards being someone we've never been, the thin guy. And fear of the unknown is one of mankinds most primal fears. Far from being stupid, I'd wonder if someone who DIDN'T feel some aprehension about this was really in touch with their feelings or not.

Thanks everyone. And shadowcub you will find someone who love you for you. I was the big boy too all my life. But I was graciously bless by God with a good woman who loves me for me and is supporting me in this process. I'm encouraged that you will find a partner that will do the same for you.