I saw the surgeon for the first time today; Dr. Richard Carter in Arlington, Texas. His office staff were very nice and friendly. Dr. Carter made me feel very comfortable..he took time to answer every question and then waited to see if I could think of anything else. I feel he will be a very competent surgeon. (April 9th-Monday)

I was so excited to finally get to meet him and ask my questions that the scared part went away for a while.

UNTIL...I left the office! I thought I was going to just have the jitters!

I thought WHAT in the HECK am I doing? I wanted to just run a way. I can't explain all the emotions that just bubbled up and overwhelmed me for a while.

I've thought about it all day and go between don't do it and yes I HAVE to do it.

I feel like I'm just NUTS right now.:omg:

There's a million things to remember and when I look at the rest of my life I panic. you can't eat this, you can't sip that. But I NEED to be healthier and I WANT to be healtier.

Is this normal or am I just wonkers? :)

I'm Soooo afraid of failing. Doing all this and NOT losing weight or only a little weight...ohh my I couldn't take that.:help:

I completely understand your anxiety and jitters. I remember several days prior to my procedure I kept thinking it would be best for me to cancel the surgery, save myself $ 15K, and try the old standby - diet and exercise.

BUT, reasoning won out! I convinced myself I was worth it, even though as a single parent there are a TON more things that the $ might have been better spent on. So, I'll keep driving my 7 yr old Chevy for a few more years - but I'll look better doing it!!

Seriously, I do not regret the decision. I think if you do enough research, you'll be prepared for life with the band. If anything, I'm more attuned to my body than I was in the past. It's given me a appreciation on how to better take care of myself. And, on a daily basis I get compliments at work... it's nice to hear after feeling ugly for so long.

Although I'm 18 months out and still working towards goal I've been on a slow steady road. I don't think of the numbers, I don't even have a scale at home and only weigh at Dr appts... so, my motivation is my loose clothes and knowing I'm feeling better than ever.

All the best... Good luck on Monday! We're here for you!

Karla

I agree with WasaBubble Butt- this s a very normal response. I did gain weight with the band for a while and failed to lose weight for a longer while - but now 6 yrs later I am flying. I had to look at why was failing ( not why the band was failing). For me it was firstly some undiagnosed medical problems ( ms that lead to swallowing problems) follwoed by a lot of emotional stuff about being a no hoper if this magical procedure ddn't work. I believed the stuff about it being 100% effectve if you worked with it, so if you fail ts your fault. What I now know s that this s too simplistic a view! I should have looked harder and pushed my surgeon harder for reasons why I was failing rather than assuming as my surgeon did that the fault was all mine. Eventually when the ms was diagnosed and it explained that my swallow was weak, that the normal band rules would lead to me eatng the wrong types of food to avoid gettng stuck- eating around the band s bad but it was all I could do until we worked out my band rules.

I got scared last year after mor MS problems and after my weight got to 385 pounds. I could not move from chair to chair as the ms had paralysed my only leg ( amputee). I had to lose weight- so I have gone back looked for ways to alter my diet and habits to fit in with my band and my ms and I have lost 73 pounds since november- not bad for an absolute failure who has been wheelchair dependant for 12 yrs.

THis may seem a bit off topic but what I am trying to say is that, merely having the band does not guarantee success, its good to know and accept that prior to surgery. so that if you are one of the few like me who have a frustrating passage and seem to be failing, you go back, re evaluate and start again and learn how to work with the band. From that point of view, the band has the chance of being 100% effective.

there may be foods that you decide are not worth eating again, they may be foods that potentially cause you problems. What causes one person a problem may not cause you a problem. This is a bit of careful trial and error until you work out what is possible for you and what is best left alone. Bread is a no no for me, the risk of PB is just toohigh. I used to be a big bread eater, used to make my own daily, now I do not miss it at all .

Final message, this can be scarey, you are looking at a changing pont in your life and there are likely to be frustrating changes At times- but they are likely to be really good changes too. Even after all the tough times in the past 6 yrs since banding, with success only over the past 5 - 6months, I feel the good stuff is well and trully overtaking the bad. Before I had no hope of losing the weight, now I have lost 30% of my excess weight. my bmi has dropped from over 60 to 49.2. To quote James Browns famous song- I feel good, i feel like I could now! I am finally working out how to use my band properly and I know I can lose my weight. I am confdent that one day I will be able to say that I have lost over 200 pounds, I could never even begn to think that was possible pre band or pre my nov '06 epiphany.

do I regret being banded- no way! do I regret wasting 5 yrs by calling myslef a failure and living lke a failure- yes! So my big message is in the unlikely event that things do not work as planned to begin with, re group and get pushy to find out why, and how you can change things to work for you- do not start living like a failure, think in terms of self fulfilling prophecy- you believe so it wll be ( that works both in good and bad) if you believe you are going to fail you wll, if you believe you will succeed you are half way to success already.

good luck with you decision- i will get off my soap box now!

Thank you Wasa, AnotherMe and Karenb.

I feel much better after reading your posts and a good nights sleep.

Karenb..you're freaking awesome, such strength!!