letter to myself

It's about 3 months before my surgery. There are many feelings i am feeling.

Scared and excited for the most part. I read on these posts every day trying to get as many answers as I can. Looking at the before and after photos and one year surgiversary success stories are both inspiring and provide hope. I wish and dream of my day a year out and my own success. I fear the first weeks after surgery and hope mine goes smoothly. The waiting is so hard. I am making this post so that during my journey when I struggle and lose focus I can remind myself why I did this and what I am striving for.

I can't wait for surgery, so I can begin the process of obtaining these goals.

1.).. Current weight 211. Goal weight 120

2.).. Current size 16 pants xlg shirt goal size 6 pants size small shirt

3.).. To be able to run 5 miles min.

4.).. To be able to wear shorts and sleeveless tops and look good

5.).. To wear a pair of jeans and look great in them.

6.).. To have fun clothes shopping instead of dreading it

7.).. To get rid of the body aches and pains and swelling and get hurting gone

8.).. To feel sexy for my husband . I feel Un attractive and insecure so he doesn't get all the attention he deserves.

9.).. To stop the yo yo dieting and the weight going up and down. ( I have clothing ranging from sizes 10-16. Sm med LG xl and 1x shirts.

10.).. To donate all large clothes to someone else in their journey who could use them and know that I will never need them again.

11.).. To wear a swim suit and feel sexy in it and not need a cover up or an excuse to not go to a pool party.

12.).. To not be starred at when I go shopping at my last store I worked at by employees. (I entered a 16week weight loss competition company wide and won 3rd place. Now have gained most of it back again! ) I feel like I let a lot of people down. Especially myself.