I had so much chocolate this weekend I am so mad at myself. Felt like pre-op me again. I dont like that obeast! Why oh why??? Why did i do this?? I craved it so much though and i just gave in! It doesnt make me dump (but breadstuffs and pies does). I am so mad at myself. So afraid that i am self sabotaging myself. And i have been so good this whole time. Always eat like i should. Just struggling to get into a groove with exercise, really dont like exercise. Sigh. Just allover depressed and mad at myself and mad that i have to feel this way now i thought i was over and done with with this self-loathing after self-indulging. Just want to cry a bit and be done with this whole journey. Be at goal weight. But i am only two thirds there. Still a third to go! Oh man!

Edited January 19, 201412 yr by ajustice

Ok OB..whats done is done. I am the biggest sugar addict I know, Literally!. I had to have LONG LONG hours of therapy to get my sugar addiction under control. Hi my name is Dee, and I am a forever recovering sugar addict.

Welcome to my world. sickening isn't it?

During my therapy sessions, and before surgery, I was made to look at my FAT self. I couldn't. whats in her future, look at it. deal with, and move on. I saw nothing in her future, no good health, no happiness. Bleak. Over and Over again I was made to see my THINNER self, what was she doing? what was she wearing? what beach was she sitting in a bathing suit? She must be in good health? she's traveling etc. All those scenerios were so I could see what was in my future. She look happy.

Listen mishaps are gonna happen, alas were human. ITS AND OLD CLICHE but get up out of the pity pantry. Be pissed at yourself, and move forward. Defeat should NOT BE IN your vocabulary. Its a bump in your road, so what!!! stand up woman..its what women do, we wallow, we cry, we get mad as hell, and we power forward. God gave is that gift for free. Move forward darling, move forward..oh dust yourself off, clean your face, and kick this bump in A$$. There's pounds to SHED!!!!!!!

Dee, you are AWESOME!! This kick in the butt is just what i needed!!

Thank you so much! And thanks for understanding. It helps to know i am not alone with this feelings and this whole scenario.

It gives me hope that I CAN DO this!

Thank you so so so much!

I dont know you, but damn, i love you!!

I am the same way but when it comes to my moms cooking. I went home to see her this weekend. I think I did ok over all I only allowed myself to eat her home cooked Breakfast. All my other meals I prepped or made sure they were friendly. I didn't gain a pound sooo glad for that.

Keep your head up and as Dee said its a bump in the road keep working on it.