I keep buying Halloween candy for my office. I do not eat it but another person in my office eats it like it is her last meal. She is overweight, does not try to diet and her trash can is full of wrappers everyday. I think I buy the candy and I am eating it vicariously through her. I keep losing weight and she keeps gaining weight and I think I am enjoying that fact. Now if she were dieting I would not be placing candy in front of her, I would be supporting her. My habit prior to surgery was to bring in donuts or bagels a couple of times a month. I know my department is missing my old habits. So am I a sick puppy?

Surgery date 9/4/2013 HW 269 RYN 238, this week 203

Not really. She is a grown @ss woman who can make her own decisions. You can't be her sitter. Since you mentioned she doesn't even make the effort to diet, might be that, she does not want to. Might be that, she is comfortable being overweight. Or, she might just stuff her face like that out of desperation . Either way, no matter what her truth is, you can't do much other than talk to her about obesity. I don't know how comfortable you are with approaching her and mention WLS.

Most likely no one in the office needs a steady supply of candy. Why do you keep buying it? Halloween is a one day celebration. Have the candy on 10/31 and not other wise.

I was always the office supplier of food, especially on Friday which is an 11 hour workday. Candy, homemade quick breads, cakes, and cookies - there was always a supply on the counter. I still do it on occasion because I like to bake but there's no one at home anymore to eat it. When I do my coworkers claim I am making them bigger so I will look smaller (but they enjoy it). Lol. I try not to do it as often as I used to and on occasion I make or buy healthier options. I don't want to tempt anyone else to over-indulge and I don't want to tempt myself. NO ONE needs a lot of junk food. :-)

my habit prior to surgery was to bring in donuts or bagels a couple of times a month. i know my department is missing my old habits. You

Donna, just reread your post and that part struck me. Are you buying these things to try to buy friendship and/or approval? You shouldn't have to buy enticements to be liked--give yourself more credit than that. Give them a chance to like you for yourself. And you might like yourself even better if you don't tempt another obese person with high calorie treats. Think of how you've felt when people tried to sabotage your weight loss efforts. Any gain in esteem you make at the expense of others is a false gain that will soon slip away.

Be kind to yourself and others!

You have a point - I am not trying to buy friendship or approval - but her gain in weight makes mine look even better - which is false self esteem...

It's a little twisted, but I think everyone has a little bit of twisty-ness in them. Maybe she has no will power (I can empathize) or just if she is just overweight doesn't think she has a problem. Maybe just switch the roles, and think how you would feel. BTW, congratulations on your weightloss so far. You are more than half way to your goal!!

I am planning on bringing little goody bags for my co-workers on Halloween but just on that day.