Well, I have surgery on July 16. Will physically be at work for one more week. After surgery, I will be working from home. Between that and going to the gym and sipping/walking/sipping/walking.

I'm a bit nervous I guess because this surgery is no joke. Its really serious and the aftermath is serious and painful. I had knee replacement a few years ago and purposely did NOT research what I was getting into. I just knew I was quickly becoming a cripple with that bad knee and it had to be fixed or I couldnt bowl anymore (league bowling is what I do when I'm not at work!!!!). So the knee rehab took me by surprise and I didnt realize how painful that was gonna be but I got through it but wished I had researched the whole thing first.

This time, I have researched what I'm getting into. I've read this website to death! My doctor's nurse is so good at answering my hundreds of emails questioning everyting that will be happening to me and I'm still nervous.

I think I'm nervous at how my life will be affected after I reach my goal. I will look different and better and not sure what that will mean. I've lived my life so "safe" and now I'm doing something pretty radical that will change my life for the better and I'm wondering will I get crazy and leave my family to explore another type of lifestyle. I think about that alot.

I've been married for 26 yrs to a nice guy, have two kids who are 26 yr old daughter and 20 yr old son. They are both college students (one commutes and the son lives on campus). Been at my job for 33 years. I've been a league bowler, bowling in multiple leagues for the past 25 years. I have always been heavy, big boned, chunky and then down right fat. So fat, that I stopped taking pictures because I was so ashamed of how I looked. I only went to work and to the bowling alley. Never wanted to go or do anything new because that was new people who would see me as a big fat woman.

Being really fat has made me so lazy! I dont even get my bowling balls out of the locker. I go to my lanes and my husband gets my balls for me. The only time I get up is when its my turn to bowl. I've gained so much weight in the last 4 years, I'm always winded, can't walk far, cant stand up for long periods - 333 lbs is a major disability!

I wonder if after I get to my goal (150 lbs.) - I might be tempted to walk away from everything and everybody. This is what I think about lately and it worries me a bit. I've read that some people suffer from depression after surgery. I hope its just temporary and not something that will linger more than a year and hope I dont get depressed.

Did you think about wanting to change your life after you've met your goal?

Hey there,

I think it's perfectly normal to envision your life after dramatic weight loss, and not really know how it's going to be. I sometimes think about things like friends who, the main thing we do together is eat. What's it going to be like post-op? Will we grow apart? Will I need to avoid them, since they'll always push me to eat (I don't have enough will power to stand up to temptation, my only option is trying to avoid it as much as possible)? Even my family, I wonder how I'm going to explain to them my portion sizes (I have only told my husband and my best friend I'm doing this surgery). What about work? What will they think, and what will I tell them? Will I have complications, and miss time (or worse) and then everyone will know?

I've also gotten depressed before when I've lost weight (I've lost 100lbs twice before on my own). I think it may have happened because my carb intake was too low, and the body needs carbs to for the happy brain chemicals to be released. But I'm no doctor, that's just a theory. It just made no sense that, once I lost the weight I was so overwhelmingly sad. Shouldn't I have been happy? Depression after the surgery may happen, but it may not. I think it's great that you've done so much research, because now you'll be ready in case it does happen. So if it does, you'll handle it. You'll go see your doctor, get help, etc. And it will be ok. (IF it even happens!)

Maybe there's a part of you, deep down inside, that kind of wants to take off and leave this life behind you. That's ok. I would guess that, if you feel like leaving your family behind after you've lost a lot of weight, it's because you weren't terribly happy in the marriage and it was time. Or, maybe you just have those thoughts because for a long time you've been putting other people first, and not spending too much time focused on YOU. Or maybe it's just a reaction to feeling unhappy about the weight, and it's more about that than the family life. So once the weight's gone, you won't feel any desire for change or to leave your family! I'm SURE you won't do anything that you don't want to do. It won't change who you are as a person, just how you look on the outside. Not saying that it isn't a difficult adjustment on the inside too, for a lot of people it is. But I don't think you'll leave your family or anything drastic; unless of course deep down (even now) you know that's the right thing for you to do at this point in your life. I hope I'm making sense!

For me, my biggest fear is gaining it all back. I've lost 100lbs twice through diet and exercise, and I've already had lapband surgery and failed (noncompliance, and loads of complications). So I'm only worried about getting the weight off and having a healthier lifestyle. Gaining weight does make you lazy. It's hard to want to move your body and get up and do things when it hurts. My husband doesn't understand this, and he's always nagging me. I know he just wants me to be healthy, but, it's still criticism and it still bothers me. I'd like to see him jump up and run around if he was carrying 150 extra pounds... Hopefully, as we get the weight off, moving around and exercising won't hurt so much and feel so awful! Actually, I already know from experience that it will.

Well' date=' I have surgery on July 16. Will physically be at work for one more week. After surgery, I will be working from home. Between that and going to the gym and sipping/walking/sipping/walking.

I'm a bit nervous I guess because this surgery is no joke. Its really serious and the aftermath is serious and painful. I had knee replacement a few years ago and purposely did NOT research what I was getting into. I just knew I was quickly becoming a cripple with that bad knee and it had to be fixed or I couldnt bowl anymore (league bowling is what I do when I'm not at work!!!!). So the knee rehab took me by surprise and I didnt realize how painful that was gonna be but I got through it but wished I had researched the whole thing first.

This time, I have researched what I'm getting into. I've read this website to death! My doctor's nurse is so good at answering my hundreds of emails questioning everyting that will be happening to me and I'm still nervous.

I think I'm nervous at how my life will be affected after I reach my goal. I will look different and better and not sure what that will mean. I've lived my life so "safe" and now I'm doing something pretty radical that will change my life for the better and I'm wondering will I get crazy and leave my family to explore another type of lifestyle. I think about that alot.

I've been married for 26 yrs to a nice guy, have two kids who are 26 yr old daughter and 20 yr old son. They are both college students (one commutes and the son lives on campus). Been at my job for 33 years. I've been a league bowler, bowling in multiple leagues for the past 25 years. I have always been heavy, big boned, chunky and then down right fat. So fat, that I stopped taking pictures because I was so ashamed of how I looked. I only went to work and to the bowling alley. Never wanted to go or do anything new because that was new people who would see me as a big fat woman.

Being really fat has made me so lazy! I dont even get my bowling balls out of the locker. I go to my lanes and my husband gets my balls for me. The only time I get up is when its my turn to bowl. I've gained so much weight in the last 4 years, I'm always winded, can't walk far, cant stand up for long periods - 333 lbs is a major disability!

I wonder if after I get to my goal (150 lbs.) - I might be tempted to walk away from everything and everybody. This is what I think about lately and it worries me a bit. I've read that some people suffer from depression after surgery. I hope its just temporary and not something that will linger more than a year and hope I dont get depressed.

Did you think about wanting to change your life after you've met your goal?[/quote']

Hey...here's the good news! Bowling burns between 175- 275 calories an hour....while not an aerobic exercise, look at it this way; you'll be burning calories while doing something you love! Try to stay positive. While some people have complications, most do not. Some people get depressed, many are fine! You're changing to become healthier, so try to focus on the positive health benefits throughout your journey. If you have these concerns, it's probably better to hook up with a counselor now so you'll have him or her as an ongoing resource. As always, we're all here for you. Talk it out like you're doing. Nothing is gained by keeping it all in...I know that when I'm " in my head" , I'm walking alone in a bad neighborhood.

Well' date=' I have surgery on July 16. Will physically be at work for one more week. After surgery, I will be working from home. Between that and going to the gym and sipping/walking/sipping/walking.

I'm a bit nervous I guess because this surgery is no joke. Its really serious and the aftermath is serious and painful. I had knee replacement a few years ago and purposely did NOT research what I was getting into. I just knew I was quickly becoming a cripple with that bad knee and it had to be fixed or I couldnt bowl anymore (league bowling is what I do when I'm not at work!!!!). So the knee rehab took me by surprise and I didnt realize how painful that was gonna be but I got through it but wished I had researched the whole thing first.

This time, I have researched what I'm getting into. I've read this website to death! My doctor's nurse is so good at answering my hundreds of emails questioning everyting that will be happening to me and I'm still nervous.

I think I'm nervous at how my life will be affected after I reach my goal. I will look different and better and not sure what that will mean. I've lived my life so "safe" and now I'm doing something pretty radical that will change my life for the better and I'm wondering will I get crazy and leave my family to explore another type of lifestyle. I think about that alot.

I've been married for 26 yrs to a nice guy, have two kids who are 26 yr old daughter and 20 yr old son. They are both college students (one commutes and the son lives on campus). Been at my job for 33 years. I've been a league bowler, bowling in multiple leagues for the past 25 years. I have always been heavy, big boned, chunky and then down right fat. So fat, that I stopped taking pictures because I was so ashamed of how I looked. I only went to work and to the bowling alley. Never wanted to go or do anything new because that was new people who would see me as a big fat woman.

Being really fat has made me so lazy! I dont even get my bowling balls out of the locker. I go to my lanes and my husband gets my balls for me. The only time I get up is when its my turn to bowl. I've gained so much weight in the last 4 years, I'm always winded, can't walk far, cant stand up for long periods - 333 lbs is a major disability!

I wonder if after I get to my goal (150 lbs.) - I might be tempted to walk away from everything and everybody. This is what I think about lately and it worries me a bit. I've read that some people suffer from depression after surgery. I hope its just temporary and not something that will linger more than a year and hope I dont get depressed.

Did you think about wanting to change your life after you've met your goal?[/quote']

Hey girl, I just saw this post I'm going to be completely honest with you. I been with hubby for 17 years. I'm 34 he is turning 56. We have 3 kids together 16 year old daughter 5 year old daughter and son 3 years old. We have ups/down moment in the marriage. It's gotten to the point that I'm planning on leaving him. My business is in the ladies section if your curious. Yet I'm still here waiting for miracle. I don't know. I now that I reach goal weight lately it's been all about me. How I look. What I eat. How I dress. I want to go out dancing(haven't done it) I never like the club life,but as I now see my self slim I wanna go out with out kids. My intentions was to only have 1 child but I don't regret having 3 kids but instead of waiting just a few years now I'm waiting forever for my small kids to grow up. I'm having plastic surgery a total body make over August 2014 this is permanent there is no turning back or rescheduling. I feel so damn good that if my hubby doesn't accept the new me after surgery I'm on a waiting list for housing that I'm willing to move out with my kids. I don't care what he has to say. I had suffer enough & my kids with his abuse so it's my time to be happy. I have notice a change in him & knows I will leave but don't know when but sometimes it's a little too late. I don't want to only be the maid the house wife the mother of 3 kids. The unpaid secretary & the planner & counselor & many other. I wanna go out have fun. I wanna enjoy life & get into the night life. I got married to damn young & just basically got fat & now I'm waking up in my 30's and realizing damn I have 3 kids & even though I finish school & I'm certify pharmacy technician I feel I done nothing with my life.

I wouldn't feel all this if I was still 211 pounds. I'm now secure. I feel I don't need a man & I feel I can do what I want. There is free child care out there & I have my mom that loves kids. I have my sister that also loves kids. I have a lot of ppl to watch my kids the day I wanna hang out. I just don't wanna behind 24/7 it's just not for me anymore. Do you think I'm being selfish?

Well, this is going to be an interesting journey - however way it turns out. Ever since President Obama was elected president, I've had this feeling that I'm not being the best that I could be. I looked at Michelle Obama, Valerie Jarrett, and others from Chicago that made that move to DC and wished I could have been with them. They were hiring people from The University of Chicago (where I work) and I didnt fill out applications. I wished I had that much extensive education, different, challenging, exciting jobs over the years. I was feeling so irrevelant because the major stumbling block was my weight.

This isnt the first time I've talked about this. Others have reminded me that few people are lucky enough to keep the same job for 33 years so I guess I should be grateful about that. I guess my kids could have dropped out high school, daughter could have been a teenage mother and son could be in gangs and in and out of jail. My husband could be a serial cheater and one who beats on me. Our house could be in foreclosure and we could be filing for bankruptcy. But none of that happened because the "safe" life I've led all these years kept that from happening.

Now a new journey is looming forward and I think I will just ride with it (of course with God by my side) and it will be what it will be.

I felt conversation coming out of me so thanks to erbody who read and thanks to the one who commented. Sometimes when you have thoughts in your head and you share them, its not as bad as you originally think it is - or someone comes up with a better solution, suggestion, thought or encouragement.

Thanks Everyone!

Val

Well' date=' this is going to be an interesting journey - however way it turns out. Ever since President Obama was elected president, I've had this feeling that I'm not being the best that I could be. I looked at Michelle Obama, Valerie Jarrett, and others from Chicago that made that move to DC and wished I could have been with them. They were hiring people from The University of Chicago (where I work) and I didnt fill out applications. I wished I had that much extensive education, different, challenging, exciting jobs over the years. I was feeling so irrevelant because the major stumbling block was my weight.

This isnt the first time I've talked about this. Others have reminded me that few people are lucky enough to keep the same job for 33 years so I guess I should be grateful about that. I guess my kids could have dropped out high school, daughter could have been a teenage mother and son could be in gangs and in and out of jail. My husband could be a serial cheater and one who beats on me. Our house could be in foreclosure and we could be filing for bankruptcy. But none of that happened because the "safe" life I've led all these years kept that from happening.

Now a new journey is looming forward and I think I will just ride with it (of course with God by my side) and it will be what it will be.

I felt conversation coming out of me so thanks to erbody who read and thanks to the one who commented. Sometimes when you have thoughts in your head and you share them, its not as bad as you originally think it is - or someone comes up with a better solution, suggestion, thought or encouragement.

Thanks Everyone!

Val[/quote']

You have lots of life ahead of you, babe. The journey is just beginning, and I'm 100% behind you. What do you do at the University of Chicago?

You have lots of life ahead of you, babe. The journey is just beginning, and I'm 100% behind you. What do you do at the University of Chicago?

I'm an administrative assistant in the dept of astronomy and astrophysics.

I'm an administrative assistant in the dept of astronomy and astrophysics.

Cool. I feel the same way about my "safe" life occasionally, and then I look at my kids and remember to be grateful.

Cool. I feel the same way about my "safe" life occasionally, and then I look at my kids and remember to be grateful.

As messy as my life is with the weight and the health problems associated with it, the absolutely best thing in the world are my children. that I did really good!!!!