is it normal to have second thoughts!

[Veritas02138 3]

I was moving full speed ahead once I settled on RNY. I'm almost ready to have insurance approve (only two more nutrition visits) and I'm SCARED and having SECOND THOUGHTS. Today's kind of bad because someone hit my trigger this morning - that I'm not going to be the same person anymore. The exact words were "ah man, how am I going to even laugh at your jokes anymore."

Rationally, I know that this is something that I need to do - I'm "pre" every health condition you can think of and I've been unsuccessful losing the weight and keeping it off. Also, I want my outside body to match the body I perceive on the inside. I want to be able to get up and down off the floor easier, not be out of breath when climbing a flight of stairs or vacuuming the house ... the list goes on and on ...

How have other people dealt with this? The interesting thing is that I've received the most hesitant reactions from those who are also overweight which makes me think that my decision is triggering something in them.

[kristy3k 1,133]

^{You answered your own question... by the things you want to be able to do. You will lose friends and relationships change because alot of people cant handle how good you are going to look and feel. It has been a roller coaster ride for me for sure but I wouldnt change a thing. I will tell you that about 3 weeks in... typically we go thru that mourning of the food we cant have... and you will probably go thru the stage of wishing you had not had the surgery then too... all normal. Haha... you are normal!!!! Good luck girlie}

[kristlynngirl 184]

I've second guessed my decision too, believe me! But now I'm two days from surgery and there's no turning back.

I know what you mean tho. Some of my coworkers said I better not get a snotty attitude once I'm skinny!!! All I'm doing is changing my health and making my body match the person I am inside. I assured them I will still be 100% me, just in a smaller package. I just want to be able to achieve the things my weight has held me back from.

[terry1118 1,274]

Change can be scary - it's the unknown. It's easy and comfortable not to change even if that change is for the better. You need to do what is in YOUR best interests. Do people really think physical changes will change much about the real you? Do people think you are that shallow? If so, it sounds like they have the problem, not you.

And seriously... would you EVER tell a person with a curable disease not to get treatment because they might change and you would be uncomfortable with that change? Of course not!

I am ME no matter if I am heavy or thin. I will probably be more confident, but not by much. I have always been a loving wife and mother, a caring considerate friend, a polite, friendly person who likes people, and a hard worker with a good work ethic. I will always be those things. People who know me will always be able to count on me. People who don't, don't matter.

Whatever you do, do it because YOU want to. If you are not ready, don't do it.

[BBdoodle 483]

I never had any doubt, I knew I wanted this and my goal was to get this done and be healthy. Some people change and get more confident because they are thinner and that is a good thing, some people change for the good and some for the bad. You just need to be true to yourself !!! I have not changed what so ever ( I think) I know I am healthier and I feel fantastic !!! This is a tool just like a treadmill or eliptical or weight machine, to help you lose weight. It all depends on YOU and YOUR choices after surgery whether you make it a success or not.

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

I wanted to be slim & did it. I knew with my silly diets losing her & there regaining wasn't for me. I needed & wanted a permanent solution so I had WLS.

When your not sure like I mention before get a dietician & see if that works for you. WLS isn't for everyone. You need to want to change. I made a life style change. Diet? Me no way I just eat my way thin.

[TxDumplin 69]

Oh yes, very normal to second guess your decision. I made a point not to tell anyone about it so they could not sway my decision. Only my kids and hubby and later i did tell my mom. I went as far as deleting all my groups and all the info on my computer about rny...It was a real struggle making sure it was the right decision for me and in the end....I'm so happy I did. You will just know if you need to move forward. Listen to your gut and don't let others sway your decision. Good Luck

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

Oh yes' date=' very normal to second guess your decision. I made a point not to tell anyone about it so they could not sway my decision. Only my kids and hubby and later i did tell my mom. I went as far as deleting all my groups and all the info on my computer about rny...It was a real struggle making sure it was the right decision for me and in the end....I'm so happy I did. You will just know if you need to move forward. Listen to your gut and don't let others sway your decision. Good Luck [/quote']

I did the samething. I deleted everything with surgery.

[Mkmb2006 41]

I'm more afraid of ME not knowing me! Lol I've been fat my whole life and was only at goal weight once...it's a head trip, for sure, if you've never known a healthy self. But, I'm so looking forward to meeting me and becoming the fab, fun ad confident person I know I am deep inside. Can't wait to be the Fit Me!

[menene 4]

I did the samething. I deleted everything with surgery.

Why? Just want to make sure I'm not missing something

[terry1118 1,274]

I'm more afraid of ME not knowing me! Lol I've been fat my whole life and was only at goal weight once...it's a head trip, for sure, if you've never known a healthy self. But, I'm so looking forward to meeting me and becoming the fab, fun ad confident person I know I am deep inside. Can't wait to be the Fit Me!

I'm in the position of meeting 'me' again for the first time in almost 30 years. My inside is the same as ever but happier. My outside, though? Who IS this person? She's looking good and has pretty clothes! I keep wanting to see myself in the mirror... because that woman is ME! Lol

[lisalisalisa 54]

Second thoughts are totally normal. You can't control other people only your reaction to them that's why i chose to keep my surgery a secret. I dint need approval or permission from others and i don't need their horror stories.

This is one of the best decisions i ever made. I had my surgery three months ago and have lost 52 pounds. It isn't as though you will never eat those foods again, it just may be a while. Your life its going to get much better!