Apparently my mom was under the impression that I'd be staying with her after surgery. I never even discussed it with her, so it's not like we had planned that. But I had to tell her that I'm going to be staying at my boyfriends house. She said that's fine as long as someone is taking care of me. I don't buy it. I know my mom and I think the fact that I'm not staying with her hurt her feelings. I have several good reasons why I don't want to stay with her. She has a lot of health problems and I feel like I'd be taking care of her more than she'd be taking care of me. Also, my bf lives 2 minutes away from the surgeons office and the hospital, whereas mom lives 20-30 minutes from either one. Third, she just got into her own apartment (taking her quite awhile to get on her feet after we lost my step-dad) and she doesn't have a second bedroom or even a couch. She wants me to sleep in her bed and she would sleep on an air mattress on the floor. No way, I'm not having that. She has problems with her knee and legs and back.

I really feel it's best to stay with the bf, I just feel like an ass for not staying with my mom

Im sorry you feel like you hurt your moms feelings. Trust me when I say, you need to stay where you are going to feel the most comfortable. I have found most overweight people... myself included try to be such people pleasers all the time. Its our way, it seems, to be accepted. For just this once dont worry about being selfish and thinking about just you!!

Thanks, that's what I'm trying to do. It's hard because its my momma :-/ I guess I feel like she's always lonely because my step dad is gone. She seems ok, but I know it's been hard on her.

She's in the program too, though it was her doctors choice and not hers. So I'm not yet convinced she's going to go through with it.

It always seems that our families try to make all things about "them" I don't think they really know that is what they are doing. But it is. You need to stay with your BF where he can be of help to you and maybe he could bring your Mom to visit you in the hospital and when you get home. Maybe you can think of some other way she can help you. But this time you can't let their feelings come before your acutally needs and well being. Hard I know. Wishing you the best.

Pookybear, you are a wonderful daughter because you're caring and considerate. Have an open honest talk with your mom and make sure she understands your reasons. Then when, or if she decides to have her surgery you can take care of her.