At the Labor Day dinner yesterday, I got my first " do not lose any more weight" comment from a SIL grandmother. She means well enough and said it quite seriously in tone and facial exp<b></b>ression, but I do not really know her that well because we see each other about once a year. She has not seen me since I was morbidly obese.

The rest of my relatives, especially my parents, are "happy" with my physique and do not comment in the way the SIL grandmother did. They all are very happy with my current physique.

It was funny actually. My twin brother has been putting on some weight, but has always been lighter than I, by 100 lb, in that last 15 years or so. The grandmother kept calling me by his name and I kept having to correct her. No, see, it really is me. It took a while for her to believe me.

I look at myself and see a pretty fit guy, but still see a few areas to work on which might be 5-10 more lbs. my weight currently centers around 175 and I am 5'11". I asked my wife about this comment from SIL grandmother and she started to say my face did look pretty thin. I just do not see this "thinness" with the same clarity when I look at myself in the mirror. I still see "issues" with it in terms of an attractive male face (comparing myself to what I consider "attractive" face).

I guess I am always going to be acutely aware of blemishes or discrepancies in vanity. Am I ok with that? I think so, but am acutely more aware of it now after reaching goal, getting lean and getting athletically built.

Do I have slight dysmorphia issues? Perhaps...

Laura' date=' I love all your quotes, I need to print those off and post them all over my house.

And on the family front...I, too, have been told not to lose anymore weight. I think part of that comment is it is so drastic to others to see us so differently. If you think about, they are used to seeing us overweight, not normal. When we do get to "normal", we look like shadows of our former selves to them.

This has truly been my largest struggle, and I am not surprised. I actually told my husband right before I had my surgery, what happens if it is never enough. And what I thought might happened has happened. I have lost all the weight, I am back down below my initial goal weight, but still unhappy with my body. I need plastics for sure, but even then, will I be happy? Probably not....

I find I envy every thin person I see. I compare myself to every woman I see. Am I bigger than her, am I smaller? Is that how I look?? I really have no sense of what I look like to others. I see pictures of myself and still see a fat person. The size 6 I wear is relative. I have told myself that they have changed sizes so much in the last number of years that in reality I wear a size 12 or 14. I have people comment and say I am tiny and I literally laugh at them. I want to be a supermodel, but I know I never will be....

It sounds harsh, I know it does. I want to be gentler with myself. I have started telling myself everything this body has done for me and some days it helps. I kept an old pair of pants and sometimes will throw them on the remember where I have come from. Will I ever accept where I am as a good place. Maybe?? I do know that is a hell of a lot better than where I came from anyways....[/quote']

I have felt disappointed sometimes in my "new" body.. I will feel like "what have I accomplished because I'm still kinda fat"

Its at those times that I must remember where I was not that long ago. Yes try on those pants you used to wear. Or go back and read the first posts you made here...

Remember that woman? I do.. I read my old stuff and remember the weight that I carried literally and figuratively. I wanted to be who I am now!

I know that I'm not perfect. Could I look better?

Yep! do I have days that I wish I did? Yep!

But I'm were I wanted and needed to be when I was a fat unhealthy person. I can still strive for better health and weight loss because face it I'm not all the way there yet. But I really NEED to love myself here and take joy in what I've done and where I'm at! I am 47 and I go out into the world now as this beautifully flawed person and I live with so much more ease than I did a year ago.

I want the self critical Laura to go away, because really she never did much for me anyway.

I am lucky in the sense that I tend to look at my reflection and see it better than it may be. I've trained myself to look at the good and love myself and want to cry when beautiful people look at their reflection and say I hate this or that. That being said, most people don't look at others as thoroughly as themselves so really get blinded by the improved physical aspect in view and aren't focused on those lumps and bumps and dark spots. Plus, there IS taking it to far, Anorexia, Bulimia, etc. And you can die from those as surely as obesity so people who don't have filters will lecture you to lose weight then turn around and lecture you to stop. It is their bad manners and rudeness to open their mouths and let every inappropriate thought fly out whenever and wherever they are

I have felt disappointed sometimes in my "new" body.. I will feel like "what have I accomplished because I'm still kinda fat"

Its at those times that I must remember where I was not that long ago. Yes try on those pants you used to wear. Or go back and read the first posts you made here...

Remember that woman? I do.. I read my old stuff and remember the weight that I carried literally and figuratively. I wanted to be who I am now!

I know that I'm not perfect. Could I look better?

Yep! do I have days that I wish I did? Yep!

But I'm were I wanted and needed to be when I was a fat unhealthy person. I can still strive for better health and weight loss because face it I'm not all the way there yet. But I really NEED to love myself here and take joy in what I've done and where I'm at! I am 47 and I go out into the world now as this beautifully flawed person and I live with so much more ease than I did a year ago.

I want the self critical Laura to go away' date=' because really she never did much for me anyway.[/quote']

You do not look 47. I thought you were in your early 30's or late 20's.

I had the two skinniest women at work tell me not to lose too much weight. This was before I had the surgery. They said people that have this procedure always get too thin. Coming from the two size 0s I was floored. Really? As if I need their advice or opinion!

I had the two skinniest women at work tell me not to lose too much weight. This was before I had the surgery. They said people that have this procedure always get too thin. Coming from the two size 0s I was floored. Really? As if I need their advice or opinion!

I guess you were infringing on their turf. They were probably a little less than altruistic with those comments and were probably being a little defensive in a passive aggressive manner. Just say thank you for your comments and move on. Not worth it to fuel their insecurities. You can be who ever you wish to be and not require the approval from peeps like these. There are always going to be these types of people who get nervous when their social standing is threatened.

Fiddleman: relax dude, you look great! Don't let an old lady who probably has no filter and can't tell you apart from your brother affect how you feel about yourself. The only person whose opinion you should be concerned about is your own and your wife's. I think people who are used to seeing us a certain way are threatened by the change. Change scares people and we have chosen to drastically and rapidly change ourselves. Hell, I am freaked out by myself all the time!

pre-surgery weight 325; surgery date 2/28/2013; surgery weight 307; 8 weeks past-op weight 281.4; 12 weeks post-op 274; 4 month post-op 266.2; 5 month post-op 262.6; 6 month post-op 253.2

I am relaxed...