Ever since I told my family about my decision to be banded they have been rather unsupportive. I sort of expected them to be not understanding and very unsure about the surgeon, but as my surgery date gets closer they become more unsupportive. I think that it is rather surprsing too since my mother and sister have struggled with their weight all their lives as well... :think

Well, to get to my thread title...Yesterday my boyfriend and I were explaining a few important details/facts to my sister and mom that were shared with us at my final surgeon consultation that I just had a few days ago. Truly, I was trying to help make them feel better about me having the surgery , sharing with them how the surgeon felt very positively about this surgery and the good experiences he has had and the minor complications...

And all my sister had to say was..."well, you know they are going to say good things because they are trying to selll the surgery to you since it is an elective surgery..." :cry

I felt really hurt by this, b/c not only did it insult my intelligence on making a major decision, but i feel like...would it kill you to say something encourageing? :mmph: She also asked me if I did any research on the surgery...well of coarse I have! She was very negatively questioning the long term rate of weight loss...i truly think she wants me to fail...

Any thoughts on this?

Thank you!

Ha! I'm even worried about being able to comply with the PRE-op diet!

I found sticking to the pre-op the hardest thing so far! I had a serious case of "Last-supper syndrome" and kept thinking I needed to eat all the junk stuff while I still could.

What are anyone's thoughts on a surgeon trying to "push" the surgery?

Interesting question.

I wondered about that too, and this is how I look at it. The surgeons spent a lot of time and money to learn how to be surgeons. They are doing this to earn a living, and yes it is a business for them. They may push the surgery because it makes them money, but I also believe that most of them also know they can help people. I've talked to/listened to 2 of the surgeons at the practice I went to, and I'm convinced that they enjoy what they do because they can change someone's life. And yes, get paid for it.

Even this early on, I feel like they gave me back my life. And hope that it will only get better. That's worth a lot more then I paid them.

I've heard that a number of the surgeons have been banded themselves, so they MUST believe in it!

It is unethical for a surgeon to "push" an elective procedure on anyone. However, the surgeons who believe in the band, believe it helps to save lives and improve the quality of each life of a person getting banded. And you know what? They're right!

Betsyjane, my surgeon is banded.

Get banded. It'll change your life. I flew to Miami from NYC this weekend for a Bar Mitzvah. I wouldn't have gone if it were 6 months ago because I would have been self conscious and worried about the plane travel and to go so far for a weekend would have been too tiring. This weekend wasn't tiring at all. It was fun! And, I had a few hours between services so I went to the beach. It wasn't planned, but I was able to walk in a regular store and buy a beach towel and a size 14 bathing suit. It was a little small, but it was FINE and I felt so normal to be able to just walk in any old store and buy a bathing suit.

Get banded.

Thanks for the encouragement.

I definitely agree that it would be unethical for a surgeon to "push" a surgery. I feel that my surgeon is very excited about the surgery and how it does help people. He truly seemed genuine and honest, and he was very personable. It still hurts that my sister was so aggressive in trying to "push" onto me that the surgeon is making everything sound better than it is...he did talk to me about complications, risks and the like, but he also talked with me about how life changing the tool can be.

Good luck at your meeting BetsyJane! Let us know how it goes! I bet that you will be even more inspired! :typing:

Yes, a surgeon is going to tell you the good points about being banded. Hopefully tell go through the risks as well, but I'm sure you've read about most of those in your own research, at least being on this board, if nothing else.

I think probably there is that element of "if we have to suffer she should too", which isn't nice, and they probably don't think it up front, but more in their subconscious. Maybe just quit talking to them about it altogether. And if they bring it up, just say something to the effect of "Look, I'm doing this, and I really don't want to hear what you have to say on the subject anymore".

*hugs*

Unfortunately, that is pretty much what I think will be the best way of handling it, such as so many other issues in my family...avoidance...:phanvan

It makes me really sad though to have to take that approach, b/c this is such a big change in my life and I really do want them to be a part of it, but it just seems that they dont understand!

I truly, truly appreciate all of your support!

The negatives come from everywhere. IF YOU know in your heart this is the choice that is best for you then DO IT. I had a 65ish year old neighbor who is like an uncle, I trusted and told him. His reply was you dont have to go to that extreme to be pretty. :phanvan It not about being pretty, I already have that. Its about health!! I know its best for me; so I dont disclose the information to anyone now!! People dont understand being fat or the consequences of it.

Aw, my fat family has never been able to be supportive about food issues. We all struggle. I have to just let it go in one ear and out the other, go my own way, and love 'em anyway.

I think that you'll only have to avoid the issue for a while. They are bound to be happy with you on some level when you start losing and they see that it works. At THAT point, they might even be convinced to join you :girl_hug:.

I totally understand everything everyone is saying and thank you! Yeah, I think that they are skeptical that it is a risk (since it is a surgery placing the foreign body in your stomach) and they think that i will just gain all of the weight back. I cant help but think that my sister secretly wants me to fail so I can still be "large" with her. We have other issues besides this, obviously, which make me distrust her and I guess those issues are truly surfacing during this difficult time.

I was hoping that this would be inspring to them, but it seems that it has been anything but. A lot of times I feel like I just "can't win" with my family. :faint: Well, we all have our family disfuction I suppose..right now I just need a lot of support and encouragement and I guess I"ll have to seek it otherwhere. Like here! Thank you! :girl_hug:

Do you all have meals together? Maybe they are afraid they'll lose you.

My dear Mother talks about food all the time...what's in the store, what's in her fridge, what's on Food TV, recipes..... She feels useless if she can't feed everyone in her life...alot!