My 26 year old daughter is moving out of town. I took her to look for apartments and while we were looking she had some sort of breakdown in the car. Fear, frustration? I don't know what caused it. While she was sleeping, on the way home, my GPS sent me the wrong way, adding about 30inutes to a 2.5 hour trip. She totally flipped out. She screamed, yelled, threatened to jump out of the car. At one point, while I'm driving 60 mph down some country road she opened the door and threatened to jump. I new if she got out, I'd never get her in again and this was in the middle of no where. After a mile or so she closed the door but kept screaming and began throwing things. I had a hard plastic cup in my drink holder that she threw hard enough to break my windshield. I was so scared that I tried to call my husband for help. She took my phone and each time he called she hung up. I drove with my hand on the door lock for an hour to keep her from opening the door. I finally got back home. I wanted to take her to a hospital but I knew she'd never get out of the car. She told me if I would just drop her at her apartment she wouldn't harm herself. I did. She has since sent me a text that said to never contact her again. We are supposed to leave for Europe in three weeks for a two week vacation. She is supposed to go.

I am heartsick. I've never seen her like this before. I am clueless what to do.

Can your husband go check on her? Clearly something is VERY wrong. Either she's having a mental breakdown of some sort or she's on drugs. Either way, she needs help.

Good luck and God Bless. I know this has to be tearing you apart.

I know drugs aren't involved. I believe she's really unwell. She is usually my best bud, my shopping buddy. She is supposed to go to Italy with us in two weeks. I hope breaking my windshield helps her realize she isn't well.

What's your husband's opinion of the situation?

SHe's an RN? Taking care of other people? WHat if she snaps at a patient like she snapped at you?? NOt only could she hurt someone, she could lose everything. Did you tell your husband what happened? What did he say? She is a danger to herself and others right now. Suppose her freak out in the car had a result that hurt you or someone driving by?? I would call a hotline, either a suicide hotline or a mental health clinic for advice. Please don't interpret anything I am saying as insensitive.. I found out a friend died today and another friend miraculously survived a rollover in a big truck, so I am life and death sensitive right now. I am glad you are ok but I would not risk taking her to Italy. If she is unstable she could get into ALOT of trouble in another country. Try to put your hurt aside for now and go into what do i need to do mode. I don't think she is just being a "brat", sounds like there is something off.. I will be praying for both of you and please, I hope nothing I said offended you!!

My husband thinks she flipped out with me because I am safe. She has a stellar reputation as a nurse and is in the process of changing her job, cities, hospital and apartment, leaving her friends and family. My husband thinks all of this stress caused her to snap. I realize that being mentally unwell in Italy could be a disaster. Leaving her alone in the states doesn't sound too good either. I agree with you that there is a serious problem.

I am sorry for the loss of your friend.

Thank you for your words. She has been a loving daughter all of her life. I will find a way to help her.

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I can't imagine how painful some of her words were. I think you've gotten some really great advice in this thread, and that one way or another, you need to move to action to get her some help before she decides to hurt herself or others. I really do believe that if your husband cannot get her to the hospital that she needs some kind of mental health intervention, possibly by the police. Or does she have any extended family member that lives close that she trusts? Maybe they or one of her close friends could help?

(((((HUGS))))) I hope that she gets the help she needs and you guys can resume being a happy family.

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I agree with you totally. I should have taken her straight to the hospital when she was in my car. I wanted to call the police but she took my phone.

Until this happened we were a normal family. Or so I thought.

Your family is still normal!!! She may just be under alot of stress or having several issues hit at once.... My husbands cousin recently had to be held at a psych facility. No history prior of such issues and sense has been doing really well. She just had alot of things come up at once and she didn't know how to handle it all. I really do hope thing resolve quickly and well. Keep us updated

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When I was a teen, I also suffered from this kind of terrifying instability. I was completely out of control and didn't know what was the matter with me.

I ended up having a hormonal imbalance made worse by a thyroid problem. I was a mess.

If she's threatening to harm herself, do seek help for her, even if it means getting on her bad side for a while. Never judge. Never threaten. Never criticize. Support and love.

And don't let her isolate too much if that's a route she's going.

Okay, so as the resident nut-case on here:

Sometimes the people we love are the only ones we feel safe to yell and scream at. YOU giving her ANY advice will make her back away. Hopefully she WILL apologise when she starts to feel better.

The fact that she fell asleep means she is totally emotionally exhausted and needs to vent. Seeing a priest, therapist, masseuse, etc may help her avoid having a big breakdown next time.

Do you have an acute mental health care team in your area? Sometimes they can do house calls just to check on her, and can bypass red tape if she has a serious issue.

She will talk to your husband because he didn't experience her breakdown and is probably embarrassed to talk to you. Maybe send a simple text: "hi, I love you, give me a call anytime, im always here." later on you can get into the whys and let her know that treating you this way is innapropriate, and to pay for repairs, but not now...

I am 99% sure she will not act this way with anyone else unless backed into a corner, and even then she is more likely to self harm.

In the meantime try to relax (I know it's hard!) take care of your self do you can support her if she needs it, and get hubby to keep non-judgemental tabs on her like does she have groceries, how is work, just listen and it will come out whatever has happened...

Keep us updated, peace Beth

My 26 year old daughter is moving out of town. I took her to look for apartments and while we were looking she had some sort of breakdown in the car. Fear, frustration? I don't know what caused it. While she was sleeping, on the way home, my GPS sent me the wrong way, adding about 30inutes to a 2.5 hour trip. She totally flipped out. She screamed, yelled, threatened to jump out of the car. At one point, while I'm driving 60 mph down some country road she opened the door and threatened to jump. I new if she got out, I'd never get her in again and this was in the middle of no where. After a mile or so she closed the door but kept screaming and began throwing things. I had a hard plastic cup in my drink holder that she threw hard enough to break my windshield. I was so scared that I tried to call my husband for help. She took my phone and each time he called she hung up. I drove with my hand on the door lock for an hour to keep her from opening the door. I finally got back home. I wanted to take her to a hospital but I knew she'd never get out of the car. She told me if I would just drop her at her apartment she wouldn't harm herself. I did. She has since sent me a text that said to never contact her again. We are supposed to leave for Europe in three weeks for a two week vacation. She is supposed to go.

I am heartsick. I've never seen her like this before. I am clueless what to do.

Hi,

Your daughter needs some serious professional help. I hear your words and feel your pain, but the best thing you can do is get her the help ASAP. I know as a Mom this is difficult, but love her enough to understand that there is NOTHING you or your husband can do to help her. It is far beyond your hands. I have no idea what has set her off, but help and the right medication and professional help might make a world of difference.

I feel your pain and how upset you are. You have done nothing wrong, but it is time to admit that this is beyond anything that you can do . Please make sure she gets the help she needs.

Hugs,

Suzanne

Also I think Italy might be a wonderful way for you two to rebuild and restrengthen your lovely relationship... I'm pretty sure it will help her too, to out things back in perspective. Although if she still seems jittery in a few weeks then of course it's probably not the best idea, but as you said, leaving her alone in that state probably isn't either catch 22 but I know you will all get through it safe and well

Oh and I'm all for getting hospitalised (been there, done that), but if she's talking to hubby and going to work then she seems to be functioning ok, just with an overall stress that needs some help- this doesn't always meet hospitalisation (especially if it might stigmatise her in her workplace)... There are alternative therapies that are worth a shot at this point in time

My daughter flipped out like that. Found out later she been using drugs

The support of all of you is just incredible. I know I need to hear repeatedly that she needs help, I need to hear repeatedly that I am not at fault. She is a beautiful, bright, young woman with some mental health issues. I will figure out how to help her. She must be really lost and hurting. She usually calls or drops by several times a week. She has to know she isn't well. Maybe when she is calmer, she will let us help her get help. Thank you all for your support.

Please, please, get your daughter some help--- whatever it takes.

Do not, for an instant, assume it could "never" be drugs. Medical professionals have more access than most others.