Hello all,

This is my first official post, but I have felt so much "virtual" encouragement and inspiration reading all of your experiences over the past several weeks. It has helped soooo much. I am to be banded sometime in early Dec. (no date yet) and am in the process of doing all my pre-op visits and testing.

I just wanted to share a bit of whats going on with me "out loud" since it's just been between me and my journal lately. Hope you all don't mind. I've always been a very private person about my weight and personal problems so just posting here is a big step for me. I'm hoping it will make it easier for me to talk with my family and close friends. Anyone who actually reads through all this definitely gets a gold star and my sincere gratitude!

I have felt so isolated the past few months, making the decision to do this and trying to deal with the fear, excitement, stress etc in private. I still don't feel comfortable telling anyone yet. I just moved to a new city and don't know many people other than new colleagues (who I don't feel comfy spilling the Beans to just yet I have read posts on this site every night for the past few weeks and it has been my main source of support.

I don't really know when I made the decision to have weight loss surgery, but once I found out that the new job's insurance would cover it, I was meeting with my PCP and setting up appts. with the surgeons office immediately, there were so many things to do that I was mostly consumed with getting to all the appointments etc. Then sometime in the past few weeks it really set in, holy crap - I'm actually doing this, it's really going to happen. Exciting and very scary. On one hand the idea of being healthier and losing this burden is so awesome, but also - I've never lived life as a "normal" weight person. It's almost impossible to believe that it could happen. (but seeing all the amazing before and after pictures posts is so much fun!!) So it's slowly sinking in and Im allowing myself to believe again. I think after so many failed diets the hope sort of gets beaten out of you!

As for now I'm struggling with a couple things and would love any support you all can offer:

1. Just found out I have hypothyroidism, it's acutally kind of ironic. About six months ago I asked my old doctor to test me for it and she said "oh hun, I have had so many heavy women ask me to test for that, and let me tell you - I almost never see it." So oddly, being diagnosed with a disorder, in this case, is a little gratifying. I'm not looking forward to taking daily medication, but my new doctor tells me that it will help speed up my metabolism and increase my energy so I feel good that this is being taken care of before surgery, giving me the best chance possible for success. Did any of you find out you were hypothyroid before surgery, did you notice a change in your ability to lose weight/energy level once you started medication?

2. Just can't bring myself to tell anyone Im having the surgery. I've decided, for now, to tell my parents. Since I just moved, I don't have anyone to be with me around the time of surgery so I am hoping they will fly out and support me. I don't know why I can't spit it out. I keep trying and it just doesn't happen. I have a very troubled sibling who still lives with my parents and is always a source of drama, I try to be the one that doesn't shake things up or trouble my parents. So it's extra hard for me to bring it up I guess, knowing they are already so worried and absorbed with my brothers issues. I think they will be supportive, but it's just hard to get those first few words out. How did you all approach it? I've never openly talked with my parents about how heavy I am, although it's been the pink elephant in the room most of my life, everyone in my family is very good at avoiding things! I'd be really curious to know how you actually specifically approached the subject? Did you test the waters by bringing WLS up in general or did you just come out with it?

So, whew, that took a load off my mind. Sorry for such a long introduction! Guess when all that stuff has been stored up for so long it comes out in one big PB of a post:nervous

It really helps to feel like you are not in this alone! My weight has always been an off-limits topic within my family, so I am amazed that simply by reading the boards and posting that I have now found the freedom to say numbers out loud that I never could before (still stutter when I say 'how much' I weigh but I can say it). It's really quite a sence of freedom to talk about it and say how frustrating and sad the weight has made me all these years. Reading the boards is like therapy....the words don't seem so scary any more.

What are your main reasons for wanting to lose the weight? Looks? Clothes? Personal relations? Health issues? I'm guessing you are talking with your mom by phone, by email, etc. pretty often? You might bring up one of the issues that means the most to you and discuss it with your mom....then another issue during the next conversation.....then over a period of a few days/weeks get to the point where you say "I think I've found a solution, mom....." Hopefully by then she will see that you have put some serious research and thought into this and will accept your decision.

As for the family coming.....you might want them there for support, but the surgery probably will not be debilitating and you will more than likely be able to see after yourself when you get home. Of course, it's always comforting to have someone around, but in reality won't be necessary.

Continue reading and studying and stocking your pantry for life right after you get home. Get some good Protein and start on it now....it'll make a big difference.

Best wishes......

Welcome to LBT! I didn't tell anyone except my immediate family. I am glad I did it that way now because everyone isn't asking all the time about how much I have lost, or why are you not losing. You and only you can make the call to tell or not, but once you do tell someone, you can't take it back. Other people have loved telling everyone. It's just a personal decision.

Good Luck!

I can't help with your first question but here's my answer to your second. (Pasting it here so I don't have to scroll back up while I respond)

How did you all approach it? I've never openly talked with my parents about how heavy I am, although it's been the pink elephant in the room most of my life, everyone in my family is very good at avoiding things! I'd be really curious to know how you actually specifically approached the subject? Did you test the waters by bringing WLS up in general or did you just come out with it?

As a little background information, my parents and I have always had very open communication about -- everything, really, including my weight (they too have struggled with their weight, but were never anywhere near as obese as I was). Our conversations about anything tend to be very open and everything on the table. My husband and my parents are my three best friends. So that might help set the stage for how I approached the issue.

My mom is the first person who ever told me about lap-band. She may have been telling me about it to plant a seed, I don't know, but one of her best friends is older than her, and a few daughters older than me. They're distant "friends of the family". One of them had RNY, and about a month later two of them had LB. This was 2001 and they were part of the FDA studies. They flew to Minnesota to have their operations done. The first time I heard of the LB was when my mom told me the sisters had the procedure, and that she'd seen one of them and she had lost a TON of weight.

Ok, so now everyone knows about the procedure, and about 4 years go by of me mentioning it every now and then, but still personally determined to "do this on my own". I figured, I've accomplished everything I've set my mind to, and I'm not going to let my weight be an exception. Yada, yada, yada...

I'd brought it up "in passing" enough times that they knew I was considering it. One day I was shopping with my mom and we were in line getting some drinks and I just told her, "I'm going to look seriously into the lapband that <sisters names> had." My mom's first response (and I was a bit mixed with how to take it) was, "Oh so you're going to do that instead of another diet?" I don't think she meant it unsupportively, she's one of those people who says something without realizing what she's really said... so I told her, "Diets obviously don't work, and I need some help." After that she was pretty much just full of questions. (Insert note here: she also said, "If you do this and lose weight I'm going to be happy for you, but I will also be jealous" - so that too may have influenced her initial reaction).

I asked her if she thought dad would be upset about it if I did it, and she said no, she actually thought he'd be happy for me. So later that night I went out with him for a bit, told him I was thinking about it, and asked him what he thought. And he said, "You're not happy being fat. You haven't been happy since you started gaining weight. I miss my happy daughter. I think that you see this as what you need to lose the weight and keep it off, and that's going to make you happy, so I think you should do it."

So I guess I tested the waters with my mom a little, and she'd be the one I'd guess would have the most objection to it. I pretty much just told my dad I thought I wanted to do it, and asked his opinion.

I'm one of the ones who tells everyone, and I have a very different situation with my parents than you with yours, so please only take my account for what it's worth. Your inner bandster-wannabe will be your best guide in making your decision.

Welcome to LBT! I think it's great that your hypothyroidism was discovered now. I bet you will see great improvement in your stamina and weight loss efforts.

I am also one of those people who told everyone. I wanted people looking so I would have some accountability. I have found a lot of community support by doing so. Even when I have slipped up, I have seen no one acting judgemental toward me. Go with your gut.