For those who are post-sleeve, do you find that you are less discriminated against now that you are smaller?

I have always been outgoing, so no job was too big or small for me to complete. I am also competitive, but I've always wondered if companies have chosen a less qualified candidate than to chose me (the fat candidate with mutliple degrees).

This is just one of those subjects that hide under the rug. It comes up from time to time, but I love talking about it - because this is a real and credible phenomenon.

I admit things have changed for me DRASTICALLY at work. I'm not saying I had it bad at work at all before, but seriously I'm given a lot more respect and free will. I'm given charge over others and trusted I'm going to do a good job. I also get a lot more kudos for hard work and job well done whereas before I'd save each email I got because they were so few and far between (I liked to read them...lol). I'm also invited to a lot more work conventions and am looked more to as someone who has the answers. Funny thing, I've always had them I just was never thought of as the one who did.

More and more people like coming to talk to me now and men are a lot more courteous to me as well. Like, they'll let me vacate the elevator first or walk in the door first too. It never dawned on me until now, but I rarely got that before.

I know one thing is true though, I'm partly responsible for the shift in attention. I'm sure "I" have a lot to do with it in that I seem more open whereas before I might have come off as a bit standoffish. I won't lie, I hated being fat!! I didn't feel good about myself. It's hard to admit that, because for me I always liked to appear stronger than I was. It was a defense mechanism I learned when I was very young to protect myself. But now that I've lost all the weight, my self esteem has risen maybe by a million points! I'm sure lots will think I shouldn't have been that way, but it's the truth. One thing I've learned is that I can never escape from the truth.

It will be interesting to see others points of view on this subject.

Well wishes on your surgery!! You're having it on my Birthday!! Whooot! :cheers2:

I definitely felt descriminated against. Even within my own family. When I gained weight my uncle always spoke to me as if I were stupid or weak but when I'm slim he speaks to me with admiration. I notice he does this alot with his own wife who when she is slender "is so intelligent she could join mensa society" however now that she has gained weight (due to ill health) he refers to her as "mamma cass" it's not just at work its all around and i indeed felt it then and I notice it's absent now which is sad sad sad!

I agree with the above two posters. Discrimination against fat people is real. Some folks do it consciously and deliberately, others are probably not aware that they are descrimintating.

I am currently conducting a job search. I am considering taking early retirement at the end of the year, but I want to continue working. So I am putting myself out there, competing against people half my age. At least I am not having to compete against people half my age AND half my size. I think I will be treated totally differently than if I had been doing this search pre-surgery and 104 pounds larger. I am worried I will be discounted for my age, but at least I don't have to worry that is my age and my weight.

I will keep the forum updated on my progress.

Interest thread!

I'm in Louisiana, so for the most part, people are somewhat accepting (we're one of the fatter states in the Union). But I always "feel" the discrimination.

I'm a human resource professional and have worked at several companies that blatantly discriminate against recent high school graduates, those of retirement age, those without a family (they think that they are vagrant), race, sex, and disabled. Because my morals wouldn't allow it, I reported it to company officials and sought other employment. That being said, I've never worked at a company that "blatantly" discriminated against the obese (with the exception of safety sensitive positions). However, I know they're out there.

I concur with everything already said. I have always found that every time I lost a lot of weight and was more "normal" that nearly everyone treated me better. At work, I would hate walking into a room full of people because I always felt the first thing they noticed was how fat I was. After a certain point of weight gain, I would stop trying that hard to dress nice because it just felt like a lost cause. I got tired of trying to find nice dress clothes as my sizes kept creeping. Nothing ever really fit right, either too big in the legs or pouchy in the front, you name it. It's a self-esteem issue totally, but knowing that even if I did dress to the 9's I would still have to contend with people who would still treat me like I was less than capable.

I also find that when I'm heavier, I tend to come across more abrasive to people which I know is just a defense mechanism. Like Diva, it was something I learned as a coping mechanism growing up always having weight issues.

As my weight has dropped, I know my self- esteem has improved, my self-confidence, etc. I now feel like a more "normal" person.... not thin (yet), but average. The discrimination against fat people is very real. It's a vicious cycle though because most who are overweight don't typically present themselves with the same level of confidence and so that just feeds into the stereotyping.

I must say one thing though that really annoys me. No disrespect to any men on this board- or men at all really- but I think most women will agree with me whether in professional or personal life that it seems more acceptable for men to be heavy than woman. A guy with the potbelly is just viewed as cuddly with a few extra pounds. I have never understood why its more acceptable for men to be heavy and women not.... but that's been my experience.

It's a vicious cycle though because most who are overweight don't typically present themselves with the same level of confidence and so that just feeds into the stereotyping.

I must say one thing though that really annoys me. No disrespect to any men on this board- or men at all really- but I think most women will agree with me whether in professional or personal life that it seems more acceptable for men to be heavy than woman. A guy with the potbelly is just viewed as cuddly with a few extra pounds. I have never understood why its more acceptable for men to be heavy and women not.... but that's been my experience.

I have confidence to boot so I don't think in my case I would consider that being a factor. However, I definitely agree that men are seen differently. The usual case of the sexes - men are superior to women, when it should be that we are equals.

I am also a confident, intelligent, outgoing gal with multiple degrees. While I was very successful pre-op, my level of success post-op has been astronomical. Like DIva, my opinions were given more credibility and I was given greater responsibilities as I lost the weight. Also like Diva, I am unsure whether people's attitudes changed because of my weightloss or because my attitude changed.

I can tell you that I recieved a major promotion four months (and 70 pounds) after surgery. I strongly believe I would not have received this without the VSG.