People really make me laugh when you try to explain what you are doing. I don't know if I should even mention it at all to anyone. I said to my friend today when she pulled a face, "well if diet and exercise were easy - we would all look fantastic", she said "your right", but maybe still didn't quite get the picture.

Since having the band in 2003, I have still been on tons of diets, counting calories, counting carbs, the gym, dvd's, tv show ideas, weight watchers - you name it - and none of it was great - most of it was boring - I have had nothing but a life of 'CAUTION" since I was 13 (I am now 50), so if I added all the pounds I've lost together since being a kid - I would have lost myself about 2 times over - and the gains equally - SO NO IT WASN'T EASY!

I am positive that I am no different to anyone else on here, but I just realized peoples reaction today - it's like a unspoken bias towards WL surgery, so you have to keep your sense of humor about it!

Glenda

People really make me laugh when you try to explain what you are doing. I don't know if I should even mention it at all to anyone. I said to my friend today when she pulled a face, "well if diet and exercise were easy - we would all look fantastic", she said "your right", but maybe still didn't quite get the picture.

Since having the band in 2003, I have still been on tons of diets, counting calories, counting carbs, the gym, dvd's, tv show ideas, weight watchers - you name it - and none of it was great - most of it was boring - I have had nothing but a life of 'CAUTION" since I was 13 (I am now 50), so if I added all the pounds I've lost together since being a kid - I would have lost myself about 2 times over - and the gains equally - SO NO IT WASN'T EASY!

I am positive that I am no different to anyone else on here, but I just realized peoples reaction today - it's like a unspoken bias towards WL surgery, so you have to keep your sense of humor about it!

Glenda

Hey Glenda....

I hear you! that is the reason why I am keeping my upcoming surgery a secret, even from my family, and my own mother. I find that people are very opinionated regarding anything to do with dieting, nevermind surgery. And usually the opinionated ones, those who have 'patented' the magic formula for losing weight, have never had a weight problem to begin with. Just like individuals who love to give you advice regarding your parenting and they've never had a kid. Starting with my doctor who said "well you know you are overweight [duh] and you need to lose it, so you should reduce your calories and do some exersise'. Which I quickly responded (mind you I don't make a good patient): 'Well you should market that idea. You've had the solution all along and you have literally been sitting on a pot of gold this whole time! You'll be rich!'. I have struggled with my weight all my life. I lost 60 pounds once. The brief time I maintained that weight was pure hell though....like an addict being offered drugs daily after being sober. I want to make this happen and I will. Honestly the fact I'm a nurse is one reason why surgery is a decision I make after careful consideration. People seem to forget we come to that decision after a LIFETIME of failure at dieting, exercise and all that good stuff. Thank God I was born when I was born that I have this chance in my life...to be born again. You have made an excellent decision. Those around should support you, not question you.

Regards,

Eileen

it's like a unspoken bias towards WL surgery' date=' so you have to keep your sense of humor about it! [img']http://cdn.verticalsleevetalk.com/public/style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif[/img]

It's very hard for people to relate to things they can't relate to.

I have never smoked, and though I understand that my smoker friends have addictions, it's still hard for me to conceive of why they can't just not smoke. But that's an addiction, and I do not think that obesity is a food addiction. I don't see it meeting the medical criteria. It does produce an effect similar to addictions, but without some pretty key requirements. So I'm not even sure the smoker/drinker/drug abuser/etc. analogies are accurate. I think it's closer to a cognitive disorder where people could change if they absolutely had to, but it would come with great distress -- more like OCD.

The unspoken bias isn't toward WLS surgery, really. It is, but not in a direct sense. For one, there's a bias against "elective surgery." And I know that technically most WLS are deemed "medically necessary" but they are not medically necessary in the way that an aortic aneurysm repair or a surgery to remove pressure on the brain or an emergency c-section is "medically necessary."

I'm not going to say "no" fat people are fat because of a medical reason, but it's exceptionally rare. Same with people who are fat because of true hunger (which at that point would have to be a disorder, or "medical reason). Most fat people are fat because of their cognition. There IS a solution other than surgery, it's just usually not a sustainable solution. (It COULD be a sustainable solution, but that would require extremes, and see below on extremes...) We CAN lose weight. We all have. We just can't keep it off very well. And when we do, we're usually sacrificing something else to make it happen.

Because it is humanly possible for us to lose the weight off & keep it off (meaning -- it's not outside the laws of physics, or medicine, or...) most people see WLS as elective and an unfavorable solution. They think it's EXTREME to, for example, volunteer (and we are all kinda volunteering in a way... no one is knocking us out while we walk down the street to do this) to have 85% of your stomach cut out instead of just eatling less.

Most things in extreme become taboo.

(Money/wealth is one of the only exceptions I can think of.)

I hear ya! I didn't tell anyone about my lap band and I have not told anyone about my sleeve revision. I feel I would be even more misunderstood for the revision because I was barely obese when I went for the revision. Not a lot of people would understand that I needed this surgery to keep me from gaining a ton of weight after I took out the band.

To an outsider it might seem drastic, but we each do what we need to do in our lives, right? I know lots of people who have had plastic surgery - nose jobs, face lifts, boob jobs, liposuction, etc. At the most shallow level, I consider this my plastic surgery. It has changed how I look, my health, and how I feel about myself. And, guess what? There is nothing wrong with it. I keep it to myself because I don't need anyone's opinion. I am quite happy with the experience and the results - screw everyone else!

I knew you guys would see my point! I like that idea Rev - seems like the "plastic surgery" idea is a good one. Next time that might be my response. I would love to have been a natural beauty - no hair dye, no makeup, hair blowing in the breeze and a perfect body - but that never happened and ain't gonna happen now.

I always tried to make up for my weight problem with being a nice person all the time - a people pleaser - there was extremes I wouldn't go to do for my friends and family - but the beauty of aging takes away our need for everyone to love us, as we accept ourselves - others approval seems less important.

In making my decision for this revision surgery - it came from a deeper place than my when I had my lapband.

I had the surgery in 2003 - I still thought I had a shot at being that wild natural beauty if I was skinny. I had a new husband - would he still love me? I had a one year old? Is that too much for a 41 year old to handle being so fat? In 2005 I my eldest daughter passed away at 23. That was the beginning of growing up for me - and not relying on the outside world to have an opinion of me - everyones view of me always burnt my sensitive self. Sometimes the worst and painful situations - open a new strand in your soul - it makes you tougher and nothing scares me - I don't ponder a minute thinking about "what if" - I now live for this minute while I am here typing - and I feel THAT is the meaning of life.

Wow, deep - go Glenda!

Anyhow, thanks for all your insightful and intelligent responses. It is nice to share with like minds.

Glenda