I choose to over eat. STILL I choose to over eat. I have no idea what my problem is. I have a feeling it will not be with me very long and I wish I could figure out how to change it. It's real easy to say "i'm going to do better" and another to actually do better. I know I am the only one who can fix this problem. Part of it says that I just don't have the resolve but then I feel miserable afterwards. I don't know what to do...or how to change it. I have no idea how to change my behavior or why I think I try to sabotage myself. I realize that no one can give me the answers I need it's something I have to do...I think I just needed somewhere to put my thoughts.

...Malice...

You did not have brain surgery. For most people, wls is NOT an instant cure.

There are some good books...one may appeal to you. I've found part of "It's Not About Food" to be helpful...I'm sure that others have their own favorite tools.

I can share two things I learned.

First...stop judging yourself. Stop with the loaded words...no calling yourself names. If you ate and then went back for a moccachino frappe quadruple whammy, you can say "I drank that coffee drink." You cannot say, "I'm a pig."

Then, you can OBSERVE...without committing to immediate change. Be a scientist and your own experiment. Just watch and SEE what it is that you are doing when you opt for the choices that aren't taking you where you want to go. (Don't commit to a major change before observing for a while.) You may find a connection between your stimuli and your reaction that will help you with a change.

For myself I have to consider 'which comes first, the Fear of Failure, or the Fear of Success'.....

The book I recommended took a whole chapter to say this!

And they made the point that the self-contempt that some people have relating to their over- or under- eating issues is a reliable and familiar feeling and, for many, feels safer than dealing with scary NEW feelings.

But you sure know a smart nurse!

Amen Jack! Great post!