Starting over at 5+ years out
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Hello! I was banded in December of 2006. At one year I had lost 110 lbs. I became pregnant and vomited a lot. I had a complete unfil and went crazy with food and gained back 60 lbs. My son was born in 2008 and I have lost (with weight watchers) and gained the same 10 lbs over and over. I had many fills and unfills, worries that my lapband was slipped or eroded, had it checked a year ago and it was fine. My problem is that I would eat until I felt discomfort and then it just became habit to PB to end the discomfort. I also found out all the foods that go through my band easily. Basically, I became a maladaptive eater!
I've really been working harder with my diet the last few months as far as eating better but have lost nothing. I hadn't had a fill in a year, so I went in a week ago. I got a fill and followed all the rules....for 4 days! I was so happy to lose 5 lbs and be finally back to eating just a half cup of food and being done. Not comfortably full, but at least satisfied. I really started to have hope that it was going to work and I could really do this. However, today I went out to eat for a family event. I KNOW (kicking self!) I should have stuck with something same and ordered a side of pinto Beans. No, I ordered a chicken taco salad. I ate four bites and was fine....then I went for five, six, seven (all while talking and laughing with the fam) and BOOM, I get stuck. I literally can't stand that feeling of something in my throat (that's where it feels stuck to me)! So I got rid of it.
I was so proud of myself tthe other day realizing I had relearned a lapband rule- stop BEFORE I feel the restriction. This is a personal rule of mine because as I said, I hate the feel of anything in there because I know over time it will get worse until I get rid of the food.
I'm just so mad at myself for going back to old ways and i'm once again afraid I won't be able to do this. *SIGH*!
Can anyone relate or give me advice? In many ways I'm a newbie to the band because I have been not living the rules for so long!