:help:

I am having a problem, I can't see myself. I look in the mirror and all I see is what I was and not what I have become. Yes my hair is different, even sexy, I wear makeup and deffinately dress better (that kind of happens when you can find clothes in you size again) but I don't know what I am. What I mean by this is am I still grossly fat, overweight, chubby, curvascious, thin?????? I dont know and can't figure it out.

My husband says I am slightly chubby.... but what exactally does that mean, his idea of chubby and someone elses are completely different. why can't there be a clone of me so I can stand back and say ok... thats what I look like. but there isn't. I have even tried to people watch at the mall and still I can't figure it out. Who do I look like physicially??? who has the same body shape as me??? should I have as much confidance as I have or is it premature? When will be able to see me?

I have tried taking pictures and that doesn't do any good, I still can't see it, I look at my reflection whenever I am by a window and think.... well I dont look fat but reflections can be distorted so I can't look that good.

Does anyone else have a problem seeing the new them? or am I the only person Blind to their own appearance?

Sorry for the rambling, hope it makes sense. and I am really not looking for people to tell me what they think I am, really I want to know when I will be able to figure it out by myself..If I can ever figure it out....

I hold up my new pants every day and think they will never fit around me...

then I put them on, and they are even loose now. I don't see it yet I hope it comes to both of us soon. You are not alone. Trish

It can take up to 2 years for your head to catch up with your body. Our brain has an image of ourselves that lingers. I also hear all the time how wonderful I look, yet I look the same to me. Knowing that it will take some time helps me to accept the compliments. I figure in a couple of years even I will will get to enjoy the change. You are doing remarkable work.....and you look great!

Alexra...I have th exact same problem..I still see myself as the 265 lb woman I had known for years looking back at me in the mirror...the only reason I know it to be untrue is the size 10 I now wear compared to the size 22 I wore 100 lbs ago. If not for the friends, family and people who comment on my weight loss everyday..I'd never know it by the image I see in my mirror..I'm learning to see a different image of myself ...just this afternoon I taped my before picture on to my mirrored wardrobe doors so I see it everytime I look in the mirror, I'm hopeful it will inspire me to see the new and improved me..it takes time, we are so programed to see ourselves as we have for so many years.

You are not alone my friend

Hi,

Not to be smart aleck or anything, but maybe invest in a full length mirror? Or one of those 360 degree mirrors. That will really show the progress you made!

I think the best way to "see yourself" would be to look, really look at yourself. Like (some) of us did when we were just hitting puberty?

Staring at ourselves gave our brain information about our bodies!

Congratulations on your progress!

Another idea is to have people compare you to people walking down the street. I'll ask my fiancee to look at a girl, and tell me if I'm bigger, smaller, or about the same size as that person, or sometimes my little sister will tell me.

Alexra...every word you said could have some from my mouth and Sarah, I do that all the time. I am sure Paul is sick of me asking how am I compared to her?? I cant see the difference is the mirror or pics. I know my clothes dont fit me anymore but I just cant see it. I think one thing that kinda made me see how much weight I had lost but not actually what I look like now is putting 2 big pics of me before and now together and really examining them.

I do agree it is going to take time for our head to catch up, you have lost an amazing amount of weight in a short amount of time.

Barbara's right, Ali, it will come with time. Although I still do the pants thing in the morning, Trish. I never think those size 16s will fit me, while in fact several of my 16s are too big! It's a hard thing to wrap my mind around, but every so often I'll be sitting next to someone in an audience or something and s/he will be BIGGER than I. That is always an eye-opening experience.

Head games suck and are cruel... but we have to learn to deal with them.

Stop looking. Let me ask you something... How do you feel ?

We have to stop taking out that magnifying glass and inspecting b/c your gonna find things your not going to like and will we ever be satisfied?

Its all how you feel darling, if you feel great then your gonna look great and it really doesn't matter what anyone thinks "chubby" is.

I think you need to talk to others who are going thru the same thing, is there anyone at that group you can talk to?

Years ago, I had lost 150 lbs. For some reason I thought I had to be at 130 lbs (I'm 5'10")... the skinny model look ya know. Every time I looked in the mirror all I would see was that 300 lbs woman despite all the comments people were telling me. They were saying I was getting to skinny.... WHO ME?????????? no way. I'm not 130 lbs yet... can't be. My DH never told me I was getting to thin, he just kept saying yeah, you could lose more (well that more was loose skin on my belly and not fat...oy..what did we know). I think if DH told me I was thin enuf, I wouldnt have gotten to where I am now. Anyway, no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get to 130 lbs, so my will gave in and I started gaining it back. 100 lbs to be exact. The thing is, you will never make everyone happy, so the key is to be happy with yourself and realize that you beautiful just the way you are.

I will never again look for that pencil thin person again, I just want to be healthy and I know now that my perfect weight is 170 lbs (I was to thin at 150).

I heard this somewhere...get a bag and cut out holes in it to see through, put it on your head, and then look in the mirror. They explained that when we see our face, we can't be objective about our body. ????? I think it's worth a shot.

You've lost a lot of weight! Be patient with yourself while you adjust your image.

Cindy

I have this issue every day. The only difference is I know I am still fat and huge. Just last night I did what michele did and looked at some pictures taken not too long before my surgery. First of all, I have seen these pictures a million times and knew pre-band when I looked at them I was fat, but now looking at them I had no idea how big I had let myself get. I see others at my weight and know I have so much more to go to be happy with myself. My husband tells me how he can tell how much weight I have lost and I've gone from a 24-16, but I still can't TELL! Maybe when I get some more weight off and start to become a more normal size I won't feel like I stick out as much. Take pictures with people you know thier size and that way you can see yourself against them. I think I will try the bag thing too.

Does anyone ever have a kind of opposite thing happen? I feel great and just so petite and delicate as my mom would say since I've lost some weight. The problem is that then I see my reflection and I'm still FAT! I run around like I'm a tall willowy model and then the reality hits me in the face. I think part of it is that I really am not as big as I think I am -- my brain is still trying to catch upwith reality like was mentioned above. But on the other hand how could I feel so great and still be so big!?!?!?!? Self image -- it's a tough one!