Hello Bandsters,

It's been a really long time since i've been on this site. I had my lap band removed almost a year ago on 3/3/09. I was determined to be able to keep maintaining my weight loss and felt I had really changed my life and have been addressing my issues. About 3 months after the band came out I about lost my freaking mind. I was riddled with fear and the inevitble feeling that I was destined to gain ALL my weight back. My primary care doctor referred me to a Binge eating disorder outpatient treatment center locally and i've been going since July 2009. I'm working through some serious shit emotionally and learning how to eat intuitively and not diet.

Since band removal a year ago and even while in treatment for Binge disorder, I have regained about 70 pounds total. I'm haivng a really hard time accepting that I couldn't keep the weight off myself. What's wrong with me? I had surgery and in treatment and I can't figure this shit out?

I'm working on accepting the fact that I can't do it alone and they removed the band so my chances of regain are pretty high. I didn't want to be a statistic, I really thought I was better than that. But i'm not.

I'm looking for some humility, some experinece and some hope from those of you who have had the band removed and who are surviving and struggling without it.

I look forward to hearing from you.

thanks,:cursing:

Emily

I am so sorry... I am wishing you the best though! You can do this and you will do this!

Emily you are being too hard on yourself. Yes, you have a problem with food addiction - so do I, so do most overweight/obese people. I would be right back to my pre-banded weight if I did not have this tool - the band. I was banded 3 yrs. ago and it has changed the way I eat and what I eat. Food is a very complicated addiction to have - it is not something that you do not need everyday, like alcohol or drugs. Accept the fact that you have an addiction, keep going for help and if possible, consider rebanding, or some other form of interventional (surgical)treatment. I am twice your age - have fought the food devils for my adult life and now because of the band, I am happy. I will never be a size 8 or small in the clothing world - but I am so much happier, self-confident and forgiving of my "humanness" and all the trips, falls, failures, successes, wins, triumphs and challenges that the band makes easier for me to handle. Please do not give up on your health - you are still so young and have so far to go, I hope you keep on trying but also be gentle with yourself. My hopes and thoughts are with you.

I understand how you feel. I had my band removed in November and have gained about 25+ lbs since. I am currently looking into being rebanded or being sleeved. I was mortified last night when I went to try on my summer clothes for an upcoming vacation and couldn't get most of them up my legs, I must have been in denial. I cried myself to sleep.....

Emily like the others have said you're beating yourself up! You wouldn't have gotten the band in the first place if there wasn't a medical reason for needing it and since it was removed what you were left with was a much larger stomach again and one you were not used to having and intuitive eating is different when you go from being banded to having your old stomach back. I had the same issue after mine was removed and months later gained even more weight and revised to RNY and now have a true sense of intuitive eating as I have a real sense of fullness due to the size of my stomach and also my re-wiring. I'm not one who necessarily believes it takes "therapy" to deal with this physical problem. Good luck to you and I hope you have more choices out there for yourself. Nancy.