Altalomaguy

Your posts have shown that you're a loving husband who wants nothing more than to better your wife. Not just physically but I think in all aspects. I just had to address the little willpower part. Permanent weight loss, diets and such, have about a 95% failure rate. I just watched a show on MSNBC about meth addicts. They have a failure rate of about 94% for staying clean. I think comparing the two details just exactly how hard weight loss can be. Like others have said, if it was a little willpower nobody would be fat. I'm glad that by visiting this place you have come to understand a little better what others have to deal with. Not everyone was blessed with a body that metabolizes at a rate where you can eat anything and everything and not gain a pound. So too was not everyone blessed with a brain chemical balance that allows them to easily control their food intake and remain positive. For some of us this is truly our last option other than simply accepting that our lives will forever be constricted and controlled by our weight, but your heart has to be in the fight. I truly wish you all the best in finding that special thing that will help your wife get better. Do your best, but don’t tear yourself apart trying to fix the unfixable. Sometimes people have problems that, no matter how hard you try, can only be fixed by them. At some point you will need to decide if you can keep living with the woman your wife has become.

I know exactly how you feel. For my graduation from college with my bachelors degree(Administration of Justice) my parents asked me if I wanted a new car one day. I was pretty flabbergasted as we aren't a rich family by any means, but turned around and said, "no, but I would like a lap band which would be about the same!" and explained everything I had researched about it. They were going down the, "you need to try harder" path until I pointed out that I'd failed every time but that didn't seem to have an impact. They didn't have a good comeback for the 95% plus failure rate of diets in general. I think the problem for them is that while they were both overweight it wasn't by very much. I on the other hand am morbidly obese and they just don't seem to get it. My back hurts, my joints are grinding themselves to dust, and ya know, I'd like to be able to see my manhood once in a while. :phanvan In the end my four years of work got about $100 in gift certificates, and they bought my brother who did six weeks of work to become a CNA a car, and are now getting him a computer. I've decided I'm simply not going to talk to them about it, nor ask them for help with it. I will inform them when I'm about to have it(no date yet), because all surgery involves risk. I also know what you mean about someone enabling you. My fiance and I had an argument this week when she brought home candy that I love, soda, Cookies, and ice creme. She actually bought one of each of those things that she likes and a set of those things for me. The problem is she gets diet stuff and I hate low sugar diet food or diet soda so she bought me normal Snacks and soda. When I told her that I appreciated the gesture , but she really shouldn't have she got really angry like I was rejecting it, and I tried really hard to explain nicely what I meant. Then she asked me if I just wanted her to throw my stuff out, and I said yes. OH BOY was that the wrong thing to say! After she cooled off though I think she understood that while I could control myself from going to the store to buy bad food when I had it in the kitchen waiting for me I just couldn't help myself. :think

In the last month to month and a half I've read... Harry Potter 5 & 6 Gotrek and Felix: Dragonslayer Willam King Gotrek and Felix: Beastslayer Willam King Gotrek and Felix: Vampireslayer Willam King(hey I love em!) The Bad Popes by E. R. Chamberlin Xenocide by Orson Scott Card A Feast for Crows by George R.R. Martin The best out of all of them is George R.R. Martin who is todays Tolkin, but better. It's not your elfs and magic adventure fantasy, but to quote a review, "It's men and women slugging it out in the muck for money and power and lust and love."

Ok time for my rant and rave! While it's almost a joke now days to bring up the topic of "fatism", or weight based discrimination, undoubtedly it's very real in today's society. I mean how many studies do we need done to prove it exists? For example one study I read showed elementary aged student outlines of children with various body sizes and asked them to write words inside about what they thought it meant. The top three words for the fat child outline was lazy, ugly, and dumb. How about those late night specials in which a thin woman goes out into society and is treated nicely, gets people running to help her when she needs it, and is accepted and then when she dons the fat suit suddenly help can't be found and people constantly shoot her disgusted looks. Didn't Tyra Banks do it for her show and literally broke down crying at the reaction she got? I think it was a shock for her to discover the level of societal rejection that some people have to put up with EVERY SINGLE DAY! To put a personal spin on it today my fiancé who is overweight came home and began weeping on my chest after an incident with her ex-military nursing teacher. They were doing a project called team leading in which the nursing students completely take over a section of the hospital. They must do everything on their own unless it's something that they can't or aren't allowed to handle as LVNs. That means unless it's big no help from the workers for anything. While my fiancé was bathing a patient who could not be left alone, he had 5 tubes in his chest and was very sick, a RN on the staff discharged an unruly patient of my fiancés improperly. While he had orders to be released my fiancé should have done it, but he was such a jerk the RN did it without waiting for her. When my fiancé went to turn in her papers for the day the teacher asked her why she hadn't taken any vitals, which is something the students must do, for that discharged patient. She replied that the RN had done it without asking her. At this point the teacher cuts off her story about the patient who needed a bath and could not be left alone to discharge another telling her, "What were you too busy sitting on your butt in the computer room? I don't care about your excuses!" She then punished my fiancé for her "failure to pay attention" by removing assignments from her homework notebook which means that assignments that she turned in will have to be completed again! That ignorant bigoted piece of despicable human filth! I have no doubt that she assumed that because my fiancé is overweight that surely she was being lazy when a patient didn't get discharged right away. It's disgusting that people like her can get away with blatant discrimination. I recommended a letter to the Dean in protest but my fiancé insists that the principal refuses to deal with any issues inside the LVN program and defers to the head of the program who just happens to be our wonderful bigot. Some people just make my blood boil with the way they treat others based on their appearance! Has anyone else had to deal with this kind of stuff? I sure there are a few of you out there.