BlackBerryJuice

By only eating fruit for breakfast, eliminating ALL sweets and junk food, replacing all breads and grains with salads AND 2 hours a day on the elliptical, I was able to get down to about 165 lbs - still a good 30 lbs overweight. Then I moved to college, where I continued to yo-yo between 165 and 185. The only times I was able to hit the low end of that weight range was when I had no stresses in my life and had hours to kill at the gym. As soon as finals rolled around, I'd pack on several pounds a week, steady. Thankfully, I really got into weights as a college student and learned more about nutrition for athletes - rather than starve myself on SlimFast shakes and the like, I at least began to watch my Protein intake and put on a lot of muscle. I could see an outline of a 6-pack at 165, but I just could NOT get below that weight and actually have visible muscles. No matter how hard I worked, eventually either physical hunger/exhaustion or emotional stress would catch up with me and lead to a binge and a feeling of being worthless. And each binge negated a week or two of being hungry all the time and working out for hours. I just couldn't keep it up. My highest weight was 216, the summer after I graduated college and moved to Canada. I went through a series of very unfortunate events, to the point where I walked to the emergency room one day and asked to be sedated because I was having a nervous breakdown. To top it all off, I hurt my back in an accident and couldn't even sit for weeks; I couldn't walk more than 2 blocks without pain for 3 months. Then I stepped it up at the gym and started eating less/healthier and lost a lot of weight. Then stuff happened and I gained weight again, up to about 195. Then I lost it again. Then I gained back, to 208. Then I lost it.... Then gained, lost, gained, lost, gained, lost. Most recently, I've put on 20 lbs in 3 months. One day I was sitting across from my 155-lbs boyfriend at McDonald's, sipping my diet Coke, as he was ripping into his meal of TWO quarter-pounders with cheese, fries, mcnuggets, regular pop, AND apple pie. The night before, we went out and while I just had a main course salad, he had a fried appetizer, main course, AND a dessert that probably ran 1500 calories. And I just said to myself "Screw this, I just don't care anymore." So I ate, and ate, and ate. I stopped the stupid running because I was sick of wasting hours a day on something that was so hard and so unrewarding. I actually CRAVE fruits and lean meats now, after letting myself eat whatever I want - healthy food is no longer a punishment. I'll go for a swim once or twice a week - nothing intense, just half a mile or so. I'll play badminton with my boyfriend once a week, because it's FUN. But I'm never going to be on the elliptical for 1.5 hours a day, 6 days a week to compensate for some cup of chocolate pudding that will otherwise make me pack on a pound a day. I recently read Crystal Renn's "Hungry." While she had a different eating disorder and did not have the weight-related emotional abuse coming from her family, I could relate to her on many levels - especially when she talked about how SICK she was of starving herself and exercising constantly, and how in the end, she just started putting on weight no matter how hard she tried to keep it off. I wish I could be as comfortable at my size as she is; she says she eventually just "settled" into her size. I have NO idea what it's like to MAINTAIN weight without feeling starved, so that's the one thing I CANNOT relate to in her story.

This will probably be a multiple-post thread from me, I don't even think I'll do it in one night. Read it and feel free to comment if you identify with any of this. I just need to vent. I'm currently at 195 and a BMI of 33. I've struggled with weight since I was 6 - I spent summer at grandma's that fateful year and she overfed me so much that my father claimed he didn't recognize me when he picked me up at the train station after. I lost MOST of that extra weight after going back to my parents', but I was never skinny again. So my mother started me on starvation diets (who puts a 7-yo who's overweight by 3 pounds on the cabbage Soup diet?) which would always end up in "celebrating" with an entire cake shared in between the 2 of us as a "reward." My father was extremely emotionally abusive towards me because of my weight - keep in mind, the heaviest I was while living with them was 165 lbs (I'm 5'5") as a teen. He'd say things like "You are a fat cow, I'm embarrassed to be seen out in public with you, I'm going to put a lock on that fridge," etc. Then he'd make remarks about other women, too - "Unless a woman is attractive, I don't care what she has to say." Not surprisingly, typical teenage self-esteem + emotional abuse + starvation diets led to eating disorder (bulimia). I puked and overexercised myself into a size 8-10 at 145 lbs. Everybody was saying how healthy and radiant I looked! Thankfully, the one day I went to TWO very challenging 1-hour group exercise classes in a row without eating Breakfast and proceeded to almost lose consciousness because of the resulting dangerously low blood sugar, I was surrounded by strangers and just blamed it on feeling a little icky because of my period. Yet everybody kept saying "You look so good now! How did you do it?!" Then I moved to the US from Europe and disaster struck. All of sudden, I'd go to the grocery store and see DOZENS of different types of Cookies, chocolates; fast food joints on every corner; and lots of stress to fuel up my emotional eating. 6 months later, I was over 200 lbs, and no amount of vomiting was able to compensate for my compulsive overeating. I was forced by my school under threat of expulsion (shortly after receiving over $50,000 in scholarships for college) to go into "counselling" with a psychologist. A psychologist THEY chose who had NO experience in eating disorders, whose sessions consisted of him trying to figure out who my friends were and ask them to spy on me to make sure I wasn't vomiting. Thankfully, I picked up magazines that focused on a healthier approach to weightloss ("Oxygen" instead of the starve-yourself "Shape") and connected with some supportive people on eating disorder message boards. I was slowly able to curb my purging to under 2 times a week (before, it could be up to 5 times a day) and just told the counselor I wasn't vomiting anymore, since I was tired of those excruciating sessions. His response? "I'm glad you are not doing that stupid stuff anymore!" "STUPID STUFF!"

Thank you for the thread. I am at 195 right now, planning to have surgery in 2nd week of August (will be booking Monday!). I've struggled with my weight since I was 6. Last year, I "changed my lifestyle" and lost 50 lbs. At 165 lbs, I would eat about 1000 calories a day and exercise 1.5-2.5 hours a day. Then one weekend I went on a trip with friends and had 3 drinks and 2 desserts over the course of 3 days. Even tho we went out to dance both nights, and I danced for hours on end, I put on 3 lbs that weekend. No matter how hard I worked out and how little I ate the following week, those 3 lbs wouldn't come off. Then one day I had a bagel with cream cheese, and I put on another stubborn pound overnight. Then one day I just said "Screw this." If I don't get this surgery, I WILL one day be 250, 300 lbs. Why not do it now, when I'm young and healthy, in good physical shape outside of the # on my scale (I'm athletic, even though people like us are seen by society as "lazy" and "unmotivated"), and when my skin is still elastic enough to mostly bounce back after the weight loss? Why wait til I'm older, bigger, and might actually need a tummy tuck and a boob job after the sleeve? I don't really want to have this surgery 10 years later and be happy I reached 195 lbs again.

Hi everyone, I am in Alberta and am planning to get sleeved in the 2nd week of August with Dr. Aceves - haven't booked a date yet, but will do so in the next 2 days. Anyone thinking of heading there in the 2nd week of August? Anyone from Alberta on this board?

Hey, I'm booking next week, so no date yet, but I'm going with Dr. Aceves. Hoping to have it done in the 2nd week of August. I'll make sure to check out that thread.

Hi! I've actually always wanted to visit Jordan, I've heard there are some great historical monuments to see. I was even thinking of doing a medical rotation there (I'm a medical student). Diabetes IS very scary - I don't have it, but I'm terrified of getting it. Hopefully your surgery goes well.

So I want to get sleeved in August in Mexico. My family's on another continent, and my boyfriend is, unfortunately, away to Europe for a vacation the entire month, and he can't cancel since he's going with someone else. He was trying to convince me to do this over Xmas or next summer, but I really want to get the surgery this summer. I'm a little worried about going alone (I've never been to Mexico, either, plus I'm Canadian, so I'll be far away from home). Has anyone gone alone? Did you feel like it was a mistake? I'm considering paying for a plane ticket for a friend to come with me - the place I'm going to is not touristy at all, so it'd be a chore for whoever comes with me. My boyfriend said he'd even pay for my friend's ticket himself, but I feel kind of bad. Do you guys think it's too scary/risky to go alone? I've never been under general anesthesia, so this is completely new to me.

Thanks for the response. I see you also bumped up another thread that addresses a lot of these issues. I'm 100% sure I'm getting the VSG. When/where are you doing yours? I plan to have mine done in the 2nd week of August in Mexico - here in Canada, the prices are outrageous, and I'm a student who's paying for this entirely with my line of credit, so saving $10,000 is definitely a big deal.

Thanks for the thread, exactly the information I needed. My greatgrandmother had something very similar done to treat her stomach cancer. She was never obese, but she was definitely plump before the surgery - maybe 25 lbs overweight? She couldn't eat very much right after (just 2 tbsp of oatmeal and the like per meal). She lost all her excess weight (IIRC, she had 90% of her stomach removed), but while she's thin now, she was never emaciated and she didn't seem to have any problems with hair loss. It's been almost 2 decades now and she's capable of having moderate-size meals (bowl of soup with a slice of bread, or some sort of protein with a bit of grains and a small salad). Considering she was in her 70s and severely ill when this was done (many surgeons actually refused to operate - she was going into the surgery with a 10% risk of death), her recovery and subsequent lifestyle have been remarkably good. Once I connected the dots during my VSG research and realized that's basically what she had done, albeit to treat a different problem, I felt a lot less concerned about doing this.

So I was pretty set on getting the band, but as I called the Dr's office to book the surgery, they really encouraged me to get the sleeve. The sleeve costs more, so there's definitely some financial motivation in it for them. Plus it's a more invasive surgery, so I'm more concerned. I'm gonna list the reasons they gave me to go with the sleeve. Can someone comment on these/discuss their personal experience? Thanks. 1) Less ghrelin = less hunger 2) No post-op maintenance (repeated fills, etc) = no need to find bariatric surgeons (there are none in my immediate area) as you can just be cared for by any general surgeon 3) no leaks, slips, erosions or infections that can take place with the band, etc 4) Apparently, lower odds of regaining weight

Thanks for the replies. AlienBandit, it's encouraging to hear that people with BMI <35 can still achieve great success with the surgery. I'd be very happy if I could maintain a weight of 160 lbs! Unfortunately, in the past it's involved hours of exercise a day, not having any alcohol, any Desserts, and not having any sort of dinner, all with a daily caloric intake of about 1000...NOT sustainable! LauraLane, Mexico is not at the top of my list right now, but if the Russia thing fails, I am willing to look into it. I called the Russian clinic today, but the receptionists were quite rude and refused to offer any sort of information over the phone, so I'll have to send my mom over there and pretend to be a patient, so that she can actually meet with the surgeon him/herself. I sent her an e-mail, so hopefully she can do this sometime next week.

Hi everyone, Just joined and thought I'd introduce myself. I'm 25 and live in Western Canada. I'm currently 195 lbs - after losing 40 lbs in a year, I've regained 30 in 6 months. I'm a medical student and recently attended several lectures on obesity. The specialist opened my eyes to the fact that the odds of me ever losing much weight and maintaining that loss are essentially zero. He also informed us that for obese patients, bariatric surgery is the only way to lose weight for good. As a medical student, I have the luxury of access to a large line of credit, so even though at a BMI of 33, I'd never qualify to have my surgery covered here, I'm willing to take the risk and make the investment. I'm hoping to one day end up at around 145 lbs. I'm quite athletic, so as long as my eating is under control, I think I'll be successful, which is why I'm opting for a lap-band. I am hoping to get banded before end of August - before school starts. I would love to hear from other Canadians. I am currently looking at some clinics here; there isn't a place offering private surgery in my area, but I'm considering some locations in Ontario. I was born and raised in Russia, and have family there, so I am also looking into getting banded there, as it is significantly cheaper. However, the procedure is still fairly new there, so most surgeons only do a handful of them a year, so experience is an issue.

I understand that this is a long shot, but has anyone had/heard of anyone who had a Lap-band done in Russia? I live in Canada, but I am originally from Russia and have family there, so this is a very viable option for me , as language barrier is not a concern, the cost is much less, and I'd have relatives helping me out through the post-op period. I've located a clinic that performs these surgeries, but I'm hoping that I could find someone who can share their experience.