Want2blighter

Ok here is my story - I am finally admitting how heavy I am and no matter what I have tried in the past, it just hasn't worked! I have been researching the lapband for a few years and I am hoping and praying that this is the answer. I am very fearful of the surgery itself as I have had a bad surgical experience in the past. I hope I have picked a skilled doctor. I guess now that I only have 20 days before my surgery , I am starting to wonder if I am doing the right thing- I think it is just the fear of the unknown. But I want so much "want to be lighter". I have beautiful grandchildren that I want to have the energy to play with, to go to the beach with. I do fear failure. I have told so many friends and family now hoping for strong support. Hope it works!
The following are the things I look forward to changing:
I look forward to playing with my grandchildren and actually being able to keep up with themI look forward to "looking forward" to going to the gymI look forward to being able to go swimming and playing in the water - I won't do that now cause I fear people staring at me and how awful my family would then feel for meI look forward to not worring about what people think of my sizeI look forward to not being the fattest person at work.
The following are the things that I hope never change. . .
I hope that I will forever have learned from this experience to be compasionate to all people that are different and take the extra time to make all people whom cross my life path to feel cared for and special regardless of what they look like!I hope that I will forever know that it is not what I look like, but who I am and the way I take the time to take care of myself that counts


Well this is just the beginning of my story . . . . .