Chloe Blake

My whole life i thought I wanted to be thin. Standing 5'3" tall I was always a BIG girl. I was unhappy and felt no one would ever love me cause How could they? I didn't love myself....

I am proud to be a big girl now. I love my body and every dimple and cellulite mark on me lol! Each one is a part of me and thats ok with me today.

With that said, at 25 I found out I was a diabetic. I confided in a DEAR SWEET friend and he told me I can over come it. Just lose some weight. Well, that was 2 weeks before my 26th birthday (his birthday was 4 days before mine). My friend passed away from his diabetes. I was 26, laying on my bathroom floor, 280lbs and hysterical. No one and nothing could calm me down.

I was scared. I just lost my friend, teacher and the only person I felt I could talk to about my health (other then doctors). This person didnt judge me. He loved me and wanted me healthy. Now that he is gone I just felt ill.

At his service I was blessed to meet his family and friends outside of the BBW pageant community (which is where I met him). I though he was just great with us girls but he was a smiley and silly person his whole life and loved everyone no matter who they were. He inspired me to LIVE.

I told my primary doctor and we began my gastric lap band surgery process. Not a fun one, I can tell you that. A lot of doctors and tests but all worth it when you find out you can add time to your life..

On December 15th 2008 I landed my surgery date and weighed in at 280lbs.

On February 17th 2009 I was to have my surgery and weighed in at 241lbs.

As of today, July 18th 2009 I am happy to say I am under 200lbs. I am 196lbs and so proud of myself that words cant even really begin to express how I feel!

I am blessed to have amazing family and friends who support me (even when they eat good stuff and I look at them like I am going to kill them if they dont share). If it wasn't for the passing of my friend and the love and support of all those in my life, I might not be here either.

Weight is not a joke. I love being big and curvy but I love life and want to live a very long and healthy one. If being under 200lbs means that the BBW world wont accept me anymore then that is just fine by me. I will take my health and have my own little community called LIFE! Being a plus size model is hard enough and the weight loss has made it a bit harder. Its ok though. I like to work harded!!!!!!

That's all from me today.

xoxo

Chloe