lompocbander

Helene, Glad to hear you are not doing the extra driving, that is much too stressful after surgery. Time to heal up, girl! It seems your family dynamics have you firmly wedged into the middle--caretaking for dad, granddaughter, and taking the heat for anything that goes awry (such as your daughter making you feel bad for making your mother do work about the house.) And you can expect that it might go from bad to worse over time, if, for example, your dad's health continues to fail, or (god forbid) your mother starts to fail. So, I don't know your financial situation or your agreements to family, but if it is not possible or desirable to change the arrangements, to get yourself out of that difficult role, it might be possible to take a big step back and re-view the whole role and see it as your "job". If you doing what you are doing is what financially supports you (such as your parents supply the home, your daughter supplies funds for food and utilities), then it is your "job" at this point. So what is your job description? And how reasonable is it? Are you on call 24/7? Do you get days off? Evenings? Are you free to accomplish the job the way that you feel it should be done? Perhaps you can establish some boundaries that make it clear that you have your own goals, needs and objectives while taking their needs seriously, too. And it is time to ask for some medical leave of absence! Any reasonable "boss" would grant you that for the next few weeks, at least, after what you have gone through! Anyway, just my thoughts, for what they are worth...

We are ALL glad to hear you are back and feeling so much better! And I'm sure I'm not the only one angry that your family has been treating you the way they have been! :lunch: I hope you begin to see this as a call to begin taking care of yourself better, and let them take care of themselves better--do a little "tough love" with them. I know I have had to learn to do this over the years, everyone continues to take advantage until you don't allow it to happen. I mean, why, for example, are you, who has had major surgery, the one driving family around to other places? You should be the one being driven, not the other way around. Stick up for yourself, you are worth it! And, clearly, no one else is sticking up for you!!! (By the way, my name is Dot, too, how funny, three of us active on this board with the same name?)

I am at a standstill in weight loss, was counting my calories and watching carefully what I ate, keeping away from carbs and sugars, and getting 800-900 calories per day. I went to my nutritionist and she went through my food log with me, and showed me how on the few days I went over the 900 my notes show how hungry I got (my margin notes say "HUNGRY!!! So Hungry!!!") She said this is typical, she sees it with anorexic patients all the time--it is the body's way of saying "hey, you're feeding me! Do this more! I NEED this!" She says, absolutely, I MUST have 1200 to 1300 calories in a day. She showed me research about how the body shuts down the metabolism when you starve it with lower calories. So now I am working hard at getting my minimum of 1200 calories in per day. I know that my weight gain has been from years of doing this to myself, eating at the wrong level of food intake, as I have always been a "starver" in the goal of staying thin (which obviously hasn't worked!) So, 3 meals per day, all solid food (no Protein drinks, slider foods, etc.), protein first, some carbs with every meal, and 1200 to 1300 calories per day, those are my goals. I'm still learning, though, finding it hard to get the calories up to that level.

That's great progress!

But that's what I wondered, if maybe with exercise you are not eating enough. Anyway, just a thought, I know I really don't have many answers or I wouldn't have gotten overweight myself! Lord knows I watch what I eat, get a lot of exercise, and try to do everything right!

My nutritionist has insisted to me that the reason my weight loss has stalled is that I am not getting nearly enough calories, so I am trying--and this is difficult for me--to increase my calorie intake. She says that if I don't get a net of 1200 to 1300 per day, after taking into account all the exercise I do, that I will continue to stall. She treats anorexics and tells me that my diet is what she sees in her anorexics. She says that the reason I get so very, very hungry on days I eat more than my current 600 or so calories is that my body is telling me "eat more! eat more!". So now I am on a new goal: eat three full meals a day, totaling 1200 to 1300 calories. No snacks. She says don't worry if I gain weight to begin with, that is normal, up to 10 pounds, then I will start to see weight loss as my body adjusts to the new, correct calorie count. It might be worth a try for you?

So, all you December 2009 bandsters, how are you doing? Check in and let us know! I just had my second fill. After my first I had no restriction, and my weight loss completely stalled. But I decided not to worry about it, just give my body time to adjust to the band and completely heal. I just got my second fill two days ago and this morning was my first meal with it, and I'm finally feeling some restriction--whoopeeEEEeee!!!:confused: I have a GREAT nutritionist that I met with for an hour before I got the fill and she reviewed my food diary (I keep track of everything I eat) and gave me advise, and I'm excited to think I am finally on the road towards weight loss. The hospital pays for the bulk of her cost (as I just discovered) so I only had to pay $20, which was wonderful, being a self-pay patient. Fills cost me $250. :w00t:. I had a slow start with the band, wasn't happy with how slow my recovery was, but at this point I feel nothing but encouraged and hopeful and glad that I did this for myself. So, how are you doing?

Flowers-- Seems to me that a fill right before a cruise is a GOOD time, since so many people overeat on cruises, this would help you keep in check, right? At worst, you might have to eat very little. But of course, if you think you are already at your sweet spot, maybe you don't need the fill. Anyway, I'm still so new to this, I don't know. I think we're all waiting anxiously to hear how Katy (Helene) is doing. I know the power of prayer can help her and she is getting lots of prayer from all of us on this board!:confused:

How fast did you originally gain the weight? I think 5-6 pounds per month is a good loss! Are you feeling deprived, or is your eating working fine for you? If it is working, I would look at the long term view, 5-6 pounds is a good amount to lose.

My doctor just has us do one day of liquid after a fill--I personally do it a little slower, but that is my choice. Anyway, if I were you, I would call the doctor's office and put off the fill for a week or two and start your regular food diet before your first fill. That's what I did, since I took a long time to get to solid foods after my surgery. I followed my own schedule, since it is MY body, afterall, and I do intend to keep it for as long as I can! And, I know that I know my needs better than my doctor. If I were you I would call and ask to reschedule in two weeks, take the time to get to know how your band works for you now, and then get the fill. Ultimately you'll make the decision about how long to wait for solid food after the fill, with your doctor's trusted advise, right?

Yeah, me too. I stayed on liquids for four weeks, soft food another 3 weeks. Give it time.

Good luck with your recovery!

That is more how it feels than the "official" explanation that the band forms a pouch that fills when we eat, isn't it?

Katy, Good for you! Glad to hear you will be getting some care. At this point you need to just focus time on yourself and your healing and tell everyone else to care for themselves. You have GOT to love yourself enough to take care of yourself as you would anyone else you loved! I'm sure the new doctor will be able to help you, and I'm sure you are moving towards a healing, healthy path now.:thumbup:

Exactly, Dixiedoo! Katy, if you were my sister, here is what I would say to you: Hey, sis. You know that all this stress in your life is really making things tough for you, what with caring for mom and dad, dealing with your failed business sale, the problems with never enough money and all of that, but, hey, you're my sister, and I want you to be around forever, and you are not thinking clearly right now. STOP thinking about other people, DON'T worry about how to pay for it at this time, JUST TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. If you don't take care of your health, who will? You are your own best advocate, and maybe your only advocate at this point! Once you take care of your health, the rest will follow. You'll be better able to help other people, and you'll be better freed up with time to figure out ways to catch up on finances. And, what if you don't take care of yourself right now? Well, I don't even want to think about that! Every day you delay is more damage to your health. You know you are an important person in the lives of other people, but you really can't be helpful to them if you don't, at this point, take care of yourself. Please, get healthy! I'm counting on you!!!

Katy, Please, get a second opinion for another doctor! Poor baby! You really didn't need this right now.

I experience it like this: I take a bite, chew and chew, swallow, pause, seems okay. Take a bite, chew and chew, swallow, pause. Now, at about the third bite, that's when I feel bite one getting "stuck". I wait for what feels like a LOONNNGGG time, but is probably only a few minutes, then it all feels better. I either continue to eat (slowly) or eat something a little less problematic. But, the thing is, it seems like it goes right through the stoma when eaten, not like it sits in a little pouch created by the band and providing a feeling of fullness as it slowly passes through and to the stomach (as I was told is how it works.) So I just wonder why it is moving through the opening right after I eat it, why isn't it staying in the upper pouch? It just seems like it is was going to get stuck, it would be later. I'm just having trouble forming a mental picture of the process, and my band didn't come with a user's manual. :ohmy:

Well, someone must know how it works--I wish someone would tell me! The doctor hasn't been very helpful.

Don't give up!!! You are probably like me. I will lose and then...nothing. I have a band, but I've been at the same weight for two weeks. My doctor said he was "disappointed" in my lack of loss (somehow like it's my fault), but, like you, I exercise and eat right. But, I'm not worried. You'll see. In a few more days you'll step on the scale and "WOW! Another pound gone!" It's just the way some of us are built. I try to stay off the scale and not worry about it. I know I will lose it, it will just take time. I stay at 1000 calories a day and average one hour exercise a day, so the weight has to go some time. I don't need it to be fast, I just need it to be gone! I find that I can lose weight for about three weeks, then nothing happens for another two weeks, then I lose again. You may have a similar pattern. In any case, don't give up. You lost 20 pounds, and those are now gone for good, as long as you keep at it and don't give up. You can do it, I know you can!

Becky, You're motivated, you'll get there!

That is good news. Good luck!

I thought I understood how my band works, but now I am confused... I thought that the band works by creating a small stomach that fills up when you eat, and so you feel full and satisfied and eat less. And that the food slowly goes through the stoma (the new opening from the band) into the stomach and is digested and passes through the intestines as prior to the band. That's what I understood. But, if that's all true, then I don't understand why food gets stuck. When I eat something that doesn't go down, it hurts, and stops right at the stoma. When I asked my doctor why it hurts, he says it is too big to fit through the stoma, so it gets stuck. It isn't getting stuck later--it's getting stuck now, when I eat it. So, the food isn't sitting in my "little" stomach and then making it's way down slowly, it is going from my mouth, through the stoma, into my stomach. So, can someone explain to me how the lap band works? I'm confused.

Becky, Don't feel bad, the whole reason you got the band was so that you wouldn't feel so embarrassed. Go to your appointment and ask for a fill--clearly you need one! That way, you will have the restriction that will help you lose the weight, and you'll be moving in the right direction again. Can you maybe go for a 20 minute brisk walk at lunch time? (I can certainly relate to working too many hours, I typically work 60 or more per week!)

It's been a long journey to healing! My surgeon said it doesn't usually take this long. ***sigh*** In any case, I still have some pain, but I'm now feeling fairly good most days. :thumbup: No real weight loss yet, but I am willing to wait for that until I get to my "sweet spot" in fills. I had my first fill, 1 cc in an 11 cc band, and that made very little difference. In six weeks I get my next fill. At this point, I have little food restriction, but I do have some, which is fine. I am losing some weight, but very slowly. Tracking my food intake, I am at 1000 calories a day and about 50-60 grams of protein (the best I can seem to manage, though my nutritionist wants me to get 70!)

It's been a long journey to healing! My surgeon said it doesn't usually take this long. ***sigh*** In any case, I still have some pain, but I'm now feeling fairly good most days. :w00t: No real weight loss yet, but I am willing to wait for that until I get to my "sweet spot" in fills. I had my first fill, 1 cc in an 11 cc band, and that made very little difference. In six weeks I get my next fill. At this point, I have little food restriction, but I do have some, which is fine. I am losing some weight, but very slowly. Tracking my food intake, I am at 1000 calories a day and about 50-60 grams of protein (the best I can seem to manage, though my nutritionist wants me to get 70!)