bearjr31

I am so upset I just posted a huge message then i erased it by mistake. I am so frusterated. I don't know how to spell that word. Oh well. you get the idea. I have been deiting for a month now.. and i have five to go for my six month pre op diet. I am learning how much i depended on food to answer my problems. It does not help me at all. All it does is make things worst. I am doing ok on my diet. I am struggling with measuring everything i eat which i have not done at all. But i think i am eating a little...lol. I am not use to dieting. I have struggled with my wieght most of my life. I am almost 400 pounds when i started. and i hope the lap band is going to help. Right now...i am worried about following the diet on it. Because i cannot follow a diet the dietician gave to me already. I am doing ok though. I do eat a lot less than what i use to. the only problem is i am still eating large quanities. I guess i think i have to eat that much still to feel full. and i am not letting a little bit fill me up. I do try to follow her diet...but i eat it in one meal...or two...this is not good. i need help or a schedule a little bit that would suit me on how much i should eat in each meal. I am going to talk to my nutritionest about that when i go see her this week. I do excersise a little bit., i have physical therapy twice a week for my back. And i am doing better. Is anyone having those same kind of problems..not know how much to eat what is normal. any ideas. when do i eat it..and what do i eat. i will do better. Please just remember me...in your prayers. I really want to do this with all my heart. I am realizing that its me that has to change. no matter how much excise i do or who i talk to about the problem i still have to quit eating. and you know that is just plain hard. when you have done it all your life. I am so sick of being overwieght and not being able to do anything because i dont fell like it...I am ready for a change. And I am sick of people telling me i cant do it when i know i can all i have to do is stick through it. With Gods help, all things are possible. MY mom taught me that. and i dont want to ever give up hope. and its not Gods fault if i fail its my fault. no one elses. You know i am beginning to realize that. Thanks for hearing me out...I am open to getting emails my email addy is bearjr30@hotmail.com...and is the lap band the right choice for me...I really dont want to do the gastric bypass. I dont want my stomach rerouted. thanks for your time...

I am on my first month of six for preop dieting. Right now it I have been dealing with eating less amounts then i used to. I still want to eat the large portions. I think my stomach is getting stretched again. But i really want to loose the weight. I did not realize how hard a long term diet is. I hate having to write everything down. I have not been measuring my food to a tea. I have been guessing. And now i feel guilty of eating more than what i am say i am eating. After i speak to my dietician this week i am going to try to do better. At times i feel the diet is so useless....because in the back of my mind all i want to do is eat. I am realizing now that how much i use to depend on food to answer all my problems. It was just a crutch...now i have to deal with alot more. I am realizing that i am alot more depressed again. I dont know if i want to keep trying...but in all honesty, i know i have to do it...everyday its a battle...i did not realize this...i was hoping this battle would go away and its not...it just getting worse. I am beginning to have doubts in even going through with the surgery because if i cannot follow a strict diet now...then how am i going to follow six months from now...I am doing alright with dieting...I dont know how much i lost..and i am really concerned if i really lost any. The numbers are not that important to me...because i am feeling better. In the beginning they were, but now every time i look at a scale i feel depreesed. Numbers should not depress you. this is rediculus...lol...Is someone with me on this...I have tried to do the surgery a couple of years ago. When i went through all the tests the doctors denied me. This made me feel so guilty even more. They said i was not psycologically ready for it then. buit i am a different person now. I am on good medicine that is really working most of the time.. They said i would not follow through the diet. And you know what i am eating a lot less than i use to. Just because i am following it totally perfect does not mean i am doing that bad. I am honestly going to try to do better,. Its only the first month... I am going to give it some time. I do have physical therapy for my back twice a week and i am trying to do it more often at home witch is alot more than what i use to do. Please remember me in your prayers. I thank you so much for all your encouraging remarks on here. All your struggles are so important to me. because i realize that i am not the only one going through this. I would love to have a mentor out thier... i an close to 400 pounds and 31 years old to young to die. not married no kids. i live in oh. feel free to chat any time. My email address is bearjr30@hotmail.com. I am not on here alot but when i am i get so encouraged. thanks for all of that...