SunnyinSC

I agree! The whys are definitely important. I had to put surgery on hold for 3 months while I saw a therapist and I'm actually really glad I did. We ended up doing a couples session and identified at least one sort of "trigger" for me that I didn't really think about before. For me, I've realized that "mental load" can often wind up feeling really overwhelming if one thing sort of gets knocked out of place. I'll list up all these tasks in my head of things I need to do, and then if say.. I suddenly have to work overtime, I'll panic and stress eat as a result. And sure I'll tell myself that it's only this once, and I deserve it I'm working extra so I don't have time to cook and blah blah, but if those things were true then I wouldn't have ended up as overweight as I am. The truth is it wasn't "once".
The solution we've found that works for our household is me just keeping the "list" written on the fridge instead of in my mind. This means my husband can see what needs to be done without me having to ask, because I hate hate hate asking (it makes me feel like a mother instead of a partner). If he knows what needs to be done, then he'll do it, especially if he sees I'm stressed. That has helped ward off a lot of the overwhelmed feelings that led me to eat before.
I also came to a rude awakening post-surgery regarding not finishing food. We were a "clean your plate" household, and while I'm aware of it, I didn't realize just quite how much throwing away food I was enjoying would bug me. If there's enough for leftovers, then I'll store it, but sometime I literally have a bite or two left. It's gotten easier to discard the little bits as time has gone on, but the first time I had just a couple bites left I sat there staring at my food for a good 20 minutes or so, hoping the full feeling would magically disappear before I finally tossed it out.
I am still continuing to see a therapist, and will be doing so until I've got a comfortable hold on my various "whys" and how to address them. While I am definitely better off than I was several months ago, I still have a lot of room for improvement. Eventually I hope to get to a place where I'm comfortable just calling the therapist when I'm having a particularly bad time, but I'm not quite there yet.

I agree with everyone else, 21lbs in 4 weeks is great! At my actual check in I had lost less than that (14lbs total) because I hit a stall 2 weeks after surgery that lasted almost 3 weeks. My surgeon was still supportive and happy for me. Hopefully yours gets the stick out his butt and is more supportive in the future. You're doing awesome. Celebrate that loss and don't let his bad attitude get you down.

Hey everyone, just checking in cause I haven't in a while. My scars are healing nicely. They're little pink thin things. Much, much better than the ones from my gallbladder out where they sealed the incisions with glue and the scars left are big circular deals.
Had my first post-op appointment with the surgeon and my dietician cleared me for all foods, not just soft. However, I've still been sticking to soft foods just cause they're easier on the tummy. Getting in around 500-600 calories a day, which my dietician mentioned was to be expected this far out. So feeling better about that. I had been worried that I wasn't eating enough even though I sort of felt like I was eating all the time. Still so strange to feel like I'm kinda constantly eating but still only be eating so few calories. I am down to 242, so my stall is long gone, which yay! It lasted about 2 and a half weeks total when I was at 252-251. Total of 28lbs lost since surgery on the 8th which is pretty amazing. Also down 12 inches over the past 3 weeks, not all from one spot but an inch or from various spaces (thighs, biceps, chest, hips, waist, neck).
Starting to feel more "normal" again which is amazing! Getting on soft foods and more regular foods really really helped. I think my favorite meal right now is just deli turkey, cheese, and some olives or dill pickles.
Hope you are all doing well too!

Oh screw him lol. You have lost 21 lbs that's good. Everyone is different. To me it's a marathon not a sprint . You doing great. Just stick to your meal plan it will work. I'm 6 weeks and have lost 36 lbs. Everyone looses different. I lost 5 lbs one week and 3 lbs another and so on. I just keep telling myself that I'm eating 700 calories a day compared to 2500 or 3000 calories a day before the surgery.

Lol.. thank you! Yes I eat between 600-700 calories a day as well. It was really discouraging because I thought I was doing something wrong. I just want to have the best results to meet my goal weight.. but him saying that to me wasn't encouraging.. but thank you friend.

I lost 15 pounds the first month after my surgery. Here I am a year later with over 130 lost. Follow your plan and don’t let a thoughtless comment from your surgeon get you down. ??

Wow! Thanks... that really gives me hope. Was it a slower weight loss for you the whole process?

Nope… I consistently lost 15 pounds a month for like the first 4-5 months. I thought I was going to be a slow loser since I “only” lost 15 that first month, but it just kept happening. Usually weight loss does slow after the first month or two, but if you stick with your plan you will keep losing and it adds up quick. We all lose at our own rates, so try not to compare yourself to others. 21 pounds the first month is awesome. You are doing great! Just keep on keeping on, and stick with your plan. ?

What an ass you’re surgeon is! They’re being incredibly unsupportive. How much weight was your surgeon expecting you to lose?
21lbs in 4 weeks is a great loss. Everyone loses at their own rate. Your gender, age, staring weight, activity level, metabolic rate, etc. all impact the rate at which you lose. That’s why comparisons with others are not the best way to judge your progress.
Have you ever lost that much weight in a month before? I bet you haven’t - I certainly had never lost at my rate ever before. Celebrate every pound you lose.

I lost 15 pounds my first month. I don't know why your surgeon would be acting like 21 pounds in a month is disappointing. You're off to a good start!

I'm 6 weeks out from surgery today, and since the date of my surgery I've lost 21lbs. 33 overall with the LRD. You're doing amazing if you've lost that in only 4 weeks!!! Don't let your surgeon make you feel down, 21lb in 4 weeks is incredible progress. I had a consultation with my surgeon at 3 weeks post-op, and I had lost 15lb at that time and he was really pleased with my progress. He also told me that he wouldn't have wanted me to lose much more than 15lb in those 3 weeks, and that it would slow down a lot in the following couple of weeks.
You're doing great!

I think you are doing great as well. What an idiot your surgeon is. You know they are really good at what they do but most do NOT have any people skills whatsoever. Keep on doing what you are doing and when you reach your goal weight you can strut in there and show him he was wrong.

there's no average. Most people seem to lose in the 15-25 range the first month, although I don't have any hardcore research to back that up - it's just what I've observed after spending the last seven years participating on this and other bariatric forums. So your loss is totally normal, and your surgeon is an idiot. I lost 16 lbs the first month, and I went on to lose over 200 lbs. Some people lose slower or faster than others depending on a lot of factors, some of which you have little to no control over (like genetics, age, gender, starting BMI, etc). You DO have control over your activity level and how closely you follow your program, so if you do well with those and your overall weight trend is down (even if slow), then you're fine.
P.S. that 15-25 range I mentioned - of course you'll always find people who fall on either side of that, but they're outliers. You are doing just fine!

Hey everyone, just checking in cause I haven't in a while. My scars are healing nicely. They're little pink thin things. Much, much better than the ones from my gallbladder out where they sealed the incisions with glue and the scars left are big circular deals.
Had my first post-op appointment with the surgeon and my dietician cleared me for all foods, not just soft. However, I've still been sticking to soft foods just cause they're easier on the tummy. Getting in around 500-600 calories a day, which my dietician mentioned was to be expected this far out. So feeling better about that. I had been worried that I wasn't eating enough even though I sort of felt like I was eating all the time. Still so strange to feel like I'm kinda constantly eating but still only be eating so few calories. I am down to 242, so my stall is long gone, which yay! It lasted about 2 and a half weeks total when I was at 252-251. Total of 28lbs lost since surgery on the 8th which is pretty amazing. Also down 12 inches over the past 3 weeks, not all from one spot but an inch or from various spaces (thighs, biceps, chest, hips, waist, neck).
Starting to feel more "normal" again which is amazing! Getting on soft foods and more regular foods really really helped. I think my favorite meal right now is just deli turkey, cheese, and some olives or dill pickles.
Hope you are all doing well too!

I will add my support to GET VACCINATED. As a Social Worker working with CHILDREN in foster care....you would think that I do not have to deal with this..... We have had entire families with COVID. The Foster Parents bring it home and give it to the children - their children, and those placed with them. We see families who are "sure" that they won't get it. So they do not vaccinate. They get it. One of my foster homes brought it to Thanksgiving last November - by New Years her father and brother were dead. Another family it was Christmas. Grandmother and brother dead in two month's time. I have spent this past year tracking death, reporting illness and dealing with families and their grief and guilt.
Oh yeah, and then there is my own "family." Cousins. Who deemed themselves "safe" because they only went out with friends, or only on play dates with people that they knew. My cousin's daughter and husband got it, gave it to cousin and husband who gave it to his family at a gathering of family only. His mother died, his sister died and he was hospitalized and has long haul symptoms and is unable to work.
I was able to get vaccinated in February. I take my mask off in my office with others who are double vaccinated only. I wear my mask indoors in public places. I do not eat in restaurants indoors. I listen to the advice of our public health RN. I visit homes double paper masked or when I can get one N95 masked. (and getting one hardly ever happens) I am 65 years old, have brittle lifelong asthma.
Please folks. Gamble in the Casino. Not on life or death.

As another RN working in public health, I can concur that the Delta variant is no joke. One of the infectious disease docs I work with also works at a local VA. A small department there collectively opted to not vaccinate, except for one person. All 7 people in the department contracted the Delta variant. So far, two are dead (young and healthy), two more have been hospitalized, and only the vaccinated person was asymptotic, although they tested positive. I really do not like those odds. So glad all the fam and I are fully vaccinated.
Also, as someone who had COVID, I can also attest to the fact that the side effects from the vaccine (yes, I did have horrible body aches and headaches with both doses), were far superior to having COVID.

Don’t worry I’m not a crazy anti vaccer (I get the flu vaccine every year & have most of my life) & it is my intention to get it. First I was not eligible - too young (that doesn’t happen often these days!). We only have Pfizer & Astra Zeneca in Australia. A friend in medical research recommended the Astra Zenaca over the Pfizer because of the risk Pfizer may not be stored at the required very low temperatures. Then the stuff came out about AZ & clotting (& I’ve had a clot), then they said though Pfizer had to be stored at low temperatures it could be transported at higher temps (??‍♀️). Then they said it’s a different sort of clot from AZ, then supplies dropped off for the Pfizer vaccine, then I had surgery, … Just not been straight forward. Anyway I’m intending to get the Pfizer when supplies are in at my doctor’s in a couple of weeks.
We’ve been very fortunate in Australia & haven’t had many cases of COVID in comparison to other countries & even fewer deaths (think it’s about 30 000 cases & 900 deaths - still too many though). It has been heart breaking to see it’s impact around the world though. I get frustrated by those who refuse to wear masks & complain when we go into lockdown even for just three days. I’m also amazed at how many people don’t bother with sanitisers anymore, lean all over counters & hand rails, invade your space, etc. Sometimes, I want to slap them & remind them it’s not about their rights as an individual, it’s about the rights of the entire community to be safe & healthy. The needs of the many …

I can't remember if I mentioned it here or not, but I'm off of my blood pressure medication! Super happy as that was one of my goals. I am down to 246lbs as of today as well, so 19lbs lost since surgery on the 8th. I hit my 4 week mark and am now getting to reintroduce some soft foods, which I am loving. I can say that I now understand people mentioning certain things, such as chicken, sitting in the stomach like a rock. Lunch today was 4 pieces of deli turkey and two slices of cheese, and dinner was a tiny bit of shredded rotisserie chicken, with a little bit of feta cheese and some buffalo hot sauce. Most my protein for the day is still coming from liquids though. I am finding it hard to get enough protein from food alone, mostly because I don't feel like I can eat frequently yet. It takes quite a long time after eating for the "full" feeling to go away. So between that and drinking water constantly, I just don't feel like I have the time to eat more actual food.

There's a WLS YouTuber (My Level 10 Life) who swears by Better Help (she's actually paid to promote them, but she swears that she gets asked to promote a lot of things and only promotes things she really believes in), but I'm skeptical of it and I'm almost certain my insurance wouldn't cover any of that.
I can try asking my surgery center for a recommendation. I didn't ask them because I wanted to get someone in-network for my insurance, but at this point, I think I'd rather pay out of pocket for something that actually helps. I have a high deductible that I haven't met yet, so I'm paying out of pocket right now, anyway. Maybe I could ask the therapist who did my pre-surgery eval for a recommendation. I've actually thought about going to him because I liked him and I could tell he knows a lot about WLS, but it seems weird (and maybe a conflict of interest) to see the person who did my eval.
I agree about not liking homework! That's another thing that annoyed me about the first one -- he was big on homework, and it was all really generic, nothing that he came up with specifically to help me. I had told him that my biggest struggle was that I felt like my surgery and weight loss is taking over my life and I have no time or energy left for anything else, and then he comes up with some busy work for me to do.

Thank you so much for your helpful reply! I also had a psych eval for surgery approval and I actually really liked the therapist. I could tell he knew a lot about weight loss surgery. I think he said that he offers post-surgery counseling, but it seems like it would be awkward and maybe a conflict of interest. But I've been thinking about going to him if I give up on the current one.
I realize that there will be a lot of talking about feelings and stuff with any therapist, but what's frustrating to me is that neither of these therapists seems to make any effort to relate any of my feelings to food/eating, even though I explicitly said these are the issues I want to address. But maybe if I can articulate this better to the therapist, she will understand what I'm looking for.

Sue, I wish I knew who to call in Tennessee, but I don't. I'm sorry. My group is affiliated with a research university and they do their homework. They have a few therapists that they have vetted and recommend to follow up with surgery patients. In addition to doing counseling appointments, our therapists also provide leadership for our support group meetings. It's kinda cool to see your therapist in the framework of working with several people you know going through the process. I know mine has heard a hundred bariatric surgery horror stories, success stories, has heard people just like me struggling through the process of making lifelong peace with food.
If you're trying to find a therapist on your own, I'd suggest looking for someone with experience treating disordered eating, cross over addiction and food addiction. Find someone who can help you identify eating triggers associated with unmet needs. (they're usually linked). Those needs need to be addressed to ensure the habits don't backslide.
Looks like the University of Tennessee has a bariatric center. It might be worth calling them and seeing if they have someone vetted who they work with....who is good....maybe you could do video visits?
You are dead right that it's hard to find the RIGHT therapist for this niche. But I can't recommend it enough.
Best wishes.

My doctor's office had me do a psych evaluation prior to approval for surgery. I asked the therapist that did the evaluation for recommendations of a long term therapist I could use prior to and after surgery. She was able to give me one that accepted my insurance.
Therapy will be a lot of talk about feelings and that sort of stuff, because the goal is to get at the root of why we feel the need to overeat and address that, not just the eating itself. It's all about identifying triggers and then working to modify behaviors and such to either avoid the triggers or work through them in a healthier way. As some examples from my own therapy sessions, I know I'm an emotional eater. Through some questioning the therapist helped me realize that keeping a list of tasks/errands/chores in my head could cause me to feel overwhelmed and that stress would lead me to overeat. She gave a suggestion that I keep the tasks written down on our fridge, not in my head, and that way my husband can know what I want done without me having to ask, and it doesn't fall on me. That has been working for our household, but if it didn't then I would have gone back and discussed what about it worked, and what didn't, and other ways to address it.
Part of it has been discussing exercise, and how I schedule it into my day. Or that I don't cook often, but really need to be better about that long term so I'll have "homework" to cook x times per week. My homework for my next appointment is to pick out some clothes I feel good in (I've been living in PJs or athletic clothes for months). Which sounds simple and maybe silly, but I find therapy can just give me that extra little push sometimes to set goals I wouldn't have otherwise set for myself, and reporting to the therapist adds a level of accountability that makes me more likely to stick to it.
It is a long process, and changes to behaviors and attitudes won't happen overnight. I started seeing my therapist about 4 months ago now, and I still have a lot to work on.

My doctor's office had me do a psych evaluation prior to approval for surgery. I asked the therapist that did the evaluation for recommendations of a long term therapist I could use prior to and after surgery. She was able to give me one that accepted my insurance.
Therapy will be a lot of talk about feelings and that sort of stuff, because the goal is to get at the root of why we feel the need to overeat and address that, not just the eating itself. It's all about identifying triggers and then working to modify behaviors and such to either avoid the triggers or work through them in a healthier way. As some examples from my own therapy sessions, I know I'm an emotional eater. Through some questioning the therapist helped me realize that keeping a list of tasks/errands/chores in my head could cause me to feel overwhelmed and that stress would lead me to overeat. She gave a suggestion that I keep the tasks written down on our fridge, not in my head, and that way my husband can know what I want done without me having to ask, and it doesn't fall on me. That has been working for our household, but if it didn't then I would have gone back and discussed what about it worked, and what didn't, and other ways to address it.
Part of it has been discussing exercise, and how I schedule it into my day. Or that I don't cook often, but really need to be better about that long term so I'll have "homework" to cook x times per week. My homework for my next appointment is to pick out some clothes I feel good in (I've been living in PJs or athletic clothes for months). Which sounds simple and maybe silly, but I find therapy can just give me that extra little push sometimes to set goals I wouldn't have otherwise set for myself, and reporting to the therapist adds a level of accountability that makes me more likely to stick to it.
It is a long process, and changes to behaviors and attitudes won't happen overnight. I started seeing my therapist about 4 months ago now, and I still have a lot to work on.

To get a surgery date!! I’m so happy, I scheduled my surgery today for August 6th and it can’t come fast enough!

I started my journey in May of 2018. I enrolled in the 10 weeks of classes required by my insurance and then.... I broke both my feet. I stopped the classes half way through cause it was just too much to deal with. Then I started classes again in March 2019 and then... I got pregnant.

I actually lost 70 lbs while pregnant, because I had hyperemesis gravidarum so badly that I couldn’t eat or drink and had to be on IV fluids for my entire pregnancy.

Started classes again in 2020. BOOM. Covid. And then I needed surgery on my spine. But I finished my classes in January, had spinal surgery in March and I’m finally, FINALLY scheduled for my surgery!! Now all I have to do is wait for the next month to creep by. Come on August!!!

Congratulations