taylor2021

I have PCOS, and after either bleeding non stop, or not bleeding for a while, I finally had my first normal period in a really long time last week. I am 3 months post op tomorrow. I can feel my body working in a way I haven’t felt in a long time :)

I'm only halfway through the six months of visits I need before a request can even be sent to insurance, but I decided I wanted to tell my story so far anyway. I'll update here as things go on.

I just want to give a bit of a warning, however. For those of you with triggers, there is talk of mental health and suicide.

On with the show, I suppose.

I've been heavy since I was a little girl. Big boned, yes, but also more than my fair share of baby fat. But at the time, it was nothing too concerning. "It'll disappear when she gets older," people would tell my parents. If only that were true.
By the time I was about 12, that baby fat had turned into even more fat. My mom, who had also gotten heavy after the birth of my younger brother, decided it was time for a change. She and I started Atkins. But that didn't last long. Sure, we both lost a little, but a long stall coupled with cravings made us stop.
As a teenage girl, I became a lot more conscious about my weight. I started trying everything. Weight Watchers, counting calories, Atkins again, even starving myself. But nothing worked. I would lose a little, then regain it and more. It was rough being a 200+ lb girl, especially one that ended up gaining three big issues. The first issue was that I became a boredom eater. The second was that I had become a binge eater. This compared with the first was a problem meant when I got bored, I would binge. But there was yet another problem under all of this.
I wanted to die.
Failures in my weight and other unrelated areas of my life such as school, caused me to spiral into a deep depression. I slept most of the day and had almost no friends. Not even the voice in my head was a friend of mine. Whenever I started a binge, I would hear it.
"Yes. Eat, little piggy. You're so fat and ugly, and a failure. You deserve nothing, not even love. No one likes you, so just eat yourself to death."
I wanted to commit suicide not by any normal method, but by slowly destroying my body. Eating until I was so big I died of any number of issues. I knew a few people cared about me, my parents and at least one person at school. That was another reason for trying to die slowly. I wanted them to become so disgusted with me, that they wouldn't care if I died.
This carried on into my first two years of college. And then I had a psychological breakdown. I won't go into what happened, but I ended up seeing both a psychologist and a psychiatrist. Together we started to work through my issues, silencing the voice in my head, dealing with my depression, treating anxiety, getting me to be a functional part of society.
I was seeing an OBGYN during this time as well, and I was diagnosed with PCOS and the insulin resistance that came with it. That seemed to be a lot of the reason why I couldn't lose weight. But what was left for me to try? Another diet? I felt like nothing worked. I tried Nutrisystem, but the food was gross and I was unhappy. But due to the psychological help and a name to what's been plaguing my weight (and the love of my fiancee, who I met after receiving help), I no longer wanted to die. I wanted to live. I wanted to see 30. So two years ago I turned to weight loss surgery.
I planned to have the bypass done, but right off the bat, I wasn't too fond of my surgical team. I felt like a number to them. My surgeon I would only see for maybe a minute each appointment if I saw him at all. But still, I stuck with it until my sixth appointment got canceled. It was late December. He had gone on vacation. My PCP, who I had been able to see for some of the check-ins, had a full schedule so I couldn't see her. No one would do the check-in.
I had to start all over again.
It was at this point that my mom suggested I try Keto. It worked for my Uncle. It was working relatively well for her. I decided why not.
The reason why I shouldn't have was because I gained an obsession with numbers. In Keto (at least the way I understood it), the general maximum grams of carbs per day is 20. I felt guilty if I went over 5. In a sense, it worked. I lost about 30 pounds. But at this time, I also started to abuse laxatives because I wanted to keep seeing that number on the scale go down. Still, much like everything else I had tried before, I hit a stall then started to regain.
Frustrated, I gave up. I went back to my old ways, figuring that I had screwed my body up too badly to be recovered.
Then, three months and a change in insurance ago, I got curious. Would my new insurance cover bariatric surgery? I checked and saw that it would. That day, I made a decision. I would get on the path to surgery again. And this time, I would complete it no matter what. I found a new surgeon with a new group. It's one that actually specializes in obesity medicine. Half of my six appointments are actually with the surgeon, and he explains things in more detail than I got before. The other half is with a nutritionist who is actually knowledgeable about the dietary needs of bariatric patients.
I feel like a person, not a number.
I feel actually informed.
I feel more ready for this surgery.
In October, a week after I get married, I will be having my last check-in with my surgeon. Then everything will go to insurance.
I'm ready.

Hello. I also have PCOS and I don't ovulate therefore I'm hoping wls will help me in that area so i may eventually become pregnant. If you don't mind me asking, what surgery are you getting and where are you getting it done? Thanks!

personal post, but whatever, we’re all adults here.

my surgery is on 7/25, but on 7/19 i had unprotected sex. i didn’t really think anything of it, but my friends have me paranoid. i have PCOS and just stopped my birth control a month ago (in prep for surgery- i’ll be continuing it after) so i really didn’t think anything of being unprotected and he did not finish inside me, but now they have me all nervous. do you guys think i’ll be okay???