I understand where you're coming from. I had so many delays leading up to my surgery that I almost gave up. BUT ,talking to my kids and grandkids, they all gave me the courage I needed to follow thru.
You have to remember tho its your choice, you have to believe in yourself and have faith that what you do is for your health and well being.
I had my surgery March 9 so I'm about 3 days the other side and i won't sugar coat it... it's still a battle every day, the pain ,trying to stay hydrated, being scared you're doing something wrong... but follow the instructions given, try ,try,try and every morning you wake up ,you're 1 more day beyond and 1 more day closer to your goal!!!
Oh I am 57 with 6 kids, 17 grandkids age 23yrs to 2mo, 3 great grandkids age 4yrs to 9mo.