I SO hear you and am sorry things are so hard right now. I am 2 weeks post and you are right, there's something really intense about the reality sinking in that we can't eat things like we used to. Food for me was an event. It was how I connected with people and celebrated life. Having 2-4 bites of something doesn't even feel like I ate it. It's very surreal and hard to explain.
And we are all going to have our own challenges and feeling post op. I honor yours and am glad you shared. It's not all roses. This is hard stuff.
Oh, also, I went for my 2 week check up and they cleared me for bathtub and swimming. She made sure my incisions were just about healed, but she said it's totally fine.
Hope things get better for you!