tapgirl

Hi all, I just had an evening in with a close friend who knows I had the surgery 9 weeks ago. Towards the end of the evening she asked how I was doing and I said things were going really well, I'd been feeling a lot better physically and mentally. She seemed awkward and when I asked her what was on her mind, she said "I just feel really sorry for you. You won't ever be able to eat normally again like any of us. I also can't believe you chose the surgery that was permanent and not something that could be reversed in the future once you've got to where you want to be" I responded that this was exactly the reason I wanted it to be permanent, I want to create a new norm for myself that I can't reverse. Yes in time I'm sure I could find ways around the sleeve if that was something I choose to do, but what's the point of that. It was my choice to have the surgery. It was my choice to confide in my closest friends. It is my choice to use the sleeve as a tool. But I don't feel the need to be pitied; I think it's sad that for a large part of my life that problems were dealt with by using food, but enough is enough now. I needed something big to combat a big problem. I am aware that potential reactions from loved ones can put us off sharing this journey, it's our bodies, our choice. I suppose I just had a negative reaction to the suggestion that somehow, my choice, was wrong. I should have done something else. There's no real answer to this, I understand my friend is entitled to share what she thinks, I enabled that by sharing what I had decided to do. I hope in time that she will see what I see, in that this was probably the best thing I could have done. I don't need anyone to affirm this for me, I'm pretty confident on my own just through how my outlook has changed and how I'm viewing food as something different. Despite this, I suppose I'm also conscious there's still a part of me that wants those important to me, to see it too. I also wonder whether her comments have tapped into a small nagging voice in my head that's thinking "what if she's right?" Because if that's the case, there's really nothing I can do about it now!

Thank you for the insight and also for sharing your own experiences. It's reassuring to know that I'm not alone in this, and that sometimes there's both internal and external battles we have to face through this journey. I still feel frustrated about this conversation, but it also relates generally to her own issues with food (she used to restrict her eating and now feels anxious and sick when having to eat, so cannot understand why I would choose to have a surgery that "would make me feel sick after eating small amounts" despite repeated statements that this isn't how it works). I have resigned myself to remembering that I have nothing to prove to her. She certainly won't be the first person I go to if I am struggling with anything relating to this. It is difficult for others to understand this, and unless they've been in our position (I know even all our experiences differ to some level anyway!). I'm also pleased that so many of you are overcoming these obstacles and standing strong, it's admirable. I'm slowly developing thicker skin (lol) but I'm sure there's still a way yet to go. If I could turn back time I probably wouldn't have shared, but that's done now. Thank you again, your replies have been invaluable x

Hi all, As someone who gave up meat (apart from fish) pre surgery, I've found it tricky to sometimes find the most Protein rich foods. I found this link which I thought I'd pass on as it not only gives examples, it goes through in detail what is also important and why. http://www.nomeatathlete.com/vegetarian-protein/ Hope this helps anyone else in the same boat. Now all I need to do is find recipes that use these foods as I am incredibly boring in my cooking! X

Ha I can't wait for skinny jeans! I'll start working on my skinny Jean strut in the meantime... x

Hi! There's lots of protein rich veggie foods, just need to be aware of what's out there. I've never been particularly creative so I've really had to explore online. My nutritionist has been helpful too in thinking about what to look for x

Hi all, hope you're all keeping well! I don't post much here but I read daily (one of the first and last things I do each day!) Your stories and tips have been great. I don't have a question as such, more so just sharing. I'm just over 6 weeks post-op. I didn't have any surgery complications luckily, went back to work after a week and a half, haven't had any issues with vomiting or anything of concern. I had the normal post-surgery "instant regret" and "what did I do I've ruined my life" moments for a couple of days, and then I battled head hunger for two weeks. Since then I've tried to get myself in a routine following the plans, tracking everything so I can start recognising amounts and portions. I've only weighed myself twice, both at surgeon appointment follow-up's, and been pleased, the loss has begun to slow down but I prepared for that. The only thing I need to do more of is exercise. I'm using daily arm weights but definitely need to get out more. At this point I feel more settled than I have done in a long time. In terms of making this decision, following through and then just dealing with what comes next. I am beginning to feel glad I did it, I can see the benefits, not in terms of weight loss but in terms of stamina, I can walk longer and faster without back pain, my heart rate is lower and I can feel it, and so on. What is now beginning to surface is all the "mental" stuff that I didn't necessarily realise was related to the issues I've clearly had with food. Food was a mask. It was there as a comfort I think. I also think loneliness has played a big part. I have experienced quite toxic friendships and relationships and lost willingness to trust others, and that led me to believe that I can't rely on anyone apart from myself. Which is probably not the worst thing in the world in itself, but it has led me to be emotionally disconnected, and lonely. I also let people walk all over me. All the time. I never choose to say no and normally my needs come last. Which is probably why I feel the need to comfort myself. This surgery doesn't take any of that away (shock!) But it has forced me to reevaluate not just my relationship with food, but my relationship with myself, and also others. For me, that is what needs to change before anything else. I know I'm still very early on in this journey and I have no idea where I'll be a couple of years down the road. I am hopeful that dealing with the "mental" will enable me to ingrain the new habits I am forming into my new "normal". Therapy is a must have. This has to come from me, I can only be accountable for choices I make in this. As I said, no real questions here, although if anyone can relate to this I'd love to hear your story! Take care all x

Thank you for sharing your story too, it helps to know I'm not alone in this! I've definitely had moments where I've felt stressed and noticed that my mind naturally starts thinking about food - probably as a comfort/distraction thing. Like you I am determined for this to be successful, and also a lifelong way of living, not a temporary fix that I will let go of later down the line. I still enjoy the taste of food, but I don't want my life to revolve around it. Thanks again and I'm so pleased to hear how well you've done, wish you well as you continue x

Losing your sweet tooth seems to be something I've seen a lot of on here, so I would just avoid stocking up on them for now I would just try lots of different things to see what suits you when you get out, and if you find yourself not enjoying something, explore other options. My tastes are continuing to change 2 months post op. I think a lot of people add unflavoured whey protein to soups so that sounds like a great idea good luck! X

Glad to hear it's going well so far! X

I have heard that sticking to something fairly benign such as vanilla or chocolate seems to fit with most people. I lost any interest in sweet things immediately post op so anything that was already sweet suddenly seemed disgusting. I would get smaller pouches of powder first to try just in case you don't like them. I loved banana powder pre op and got a big bag then when I came back from hospital it tasted like vomit. It'll be a learning thing x

I'm sorry to hear you had this experience, sounds rough! I've not had this but I would imagine the gain is temporary and related more to fluids than anything else. And you seem to have already started the reverse so that must be a relief for you Hope you feel better soon x

Hi Renea, I agree it's a real balancing act trying to get the Protein in. From reading what you wrote, I would say perhaps depending on what your surgeons recommended goal for your protein intake per day (it seems to range a bit, for instance my surgeon only wants me aiming for 60g per day), it might feel better for you to split the amount evenly (if you can) throughout the day. So for example, I would aim to have 20g in the morning, 20g around lunchtime and 20g at dinnertime. Snacks in between would make up any deficit or add extra. The reason for this seems to be related to giving you more consistent energy (although please correct me if I'm wrong on this!). I would also imagine that if you have a lot of protein/calorie intake in one go, then less throughout the day, you might struggle. Small but often seems to be the goal. I'm not sure what stage you're in (liquid, pureed etc) so hopefully this all applies to you. This is just what I've tried to do and it seems to work for me. Good luck! X

Amazon UK sell lots of Protein powder. I found it a must post op as needed to get the protein in. Myprotein is a good option and they have dozens of flavours but I've moved on to Bulk Powder just because my taste changes overnight and one flavour I like suddenly becomes disgusting. They normally come in 500g or 1kg bags which is unfortunate if you do change your taste because you can end up with bags you don't need. My friend brought round a box of his Protein Powder he uses for workouts and I tried one of each so was able to choose one I liked then order that one. whey protein seems to be the best option. My surgeon does want me off the shakes eventually once I'm getting all my protein in with food. Personally I'm happy starting my morning with a Protein shake as it starts me off with 26g protein already in (I have it with milk). Then the rest of the day is through food. Good luck! X

Thank you for the replies, I'm grateful for the support! I've been in and out of therapy since I was a teenager, it's helped somewhat but I was never able to kick this. Something has certainly shifted. I went into this knowing that unless I changed, it would be a fruitless effort. At the moment I don't feel like food is consuming me, which is different. I spend a lot of my day considering what I need to have for Protein, and I've been advised to up my calories which is proving challenging but I'm coming at it from a health point of view, what's the best thing I can have today, e.g. most protein, less carbs. It's all just very different, I'm not stuffing anything down. Financially it's difficult to start therapy again at the moment, but this is something I will be able to do in the near future. I think I'm aware, based on lots of research and testimonials, what are common pitfalls (such as replacing one crutch for another like you mentioned @theantichick) so I'm trying to be mindful. Thanks again for all your replies, it has felt good to share where I'm at for now take care xx

I got my surgery at the Spire Wellesley in Southend. Would recommend! Pm me if you want! X

Hi all, This is my first post. I have been browsing this forum for a while, and I am being sleeved on 5th November. I live in Essex. I was feeling overly positive about the sleeve until yesterday when I think the reality kicked in and I began to worry about the surgery itself (what if something happens on the day and it doesn't go ahead, what if something goes wrong with the anaesthetic etc), how I will feel afterwards, how I'm going to do this long term and so on. I have decided only to let my immediate family and my manager know as I worry about the response from my friends, this might change in the future but for now I feel I just want to try and do this without any potential negative reactions. At the moment I am pretty ready and have already got in the Vitamins and supplements I'll need, about 2 or 3 months worth. I have what I need for the surgery. I don't know anyone else locally getting the surgery but hoping to find someone who I might be able to chat with! I've been watching youtube videos almost non stop finding out other people's experiences, mainly for tips and for ideas for how to make sure this is a permanent "head" change. I am glad this is a non reversible operation and I feel ready for this to be a huge shift in how I live my life Good luck to you all either pre or post surgery xx Sent from my SM-G930F using the BariatricPal App

Hi all, I just wondered if anyone else has had the same experience I had.. I had my surgery on Nov 5th (I'm from the UK). I didn't go through the NHS, I took out a loan to go private. The day after my surgery my surgeon came in to check in and after a couple of questions he handed me a DVD and said "here you go, this is your surgery". I was still a bit groggy so I took it and said thanks and put it in my bag. I haven't really thought about it until this evening when I was shredding paperwork and found it hidden in a newspaper I must have had while I was there. It has my name on it. A couple others from the same surgeon have also received their own surgery DVDs also. Has anyone else been given this? I haven't watched it, I really have no intention of watching it. Why would I want to watch surgeons cutting me open and putting tubes and equipment in me! It's just so bizarre. I admit there's a teeny weeny part of me that's curious I suppose... but would you guys watch it if you have one? Or were given one? I suppose it would come in handy if I ever needed an alibi for that day!

Seems like it's not all that common! But by all means if you're pre op ask away to see whether it's something they would do perhaps one day I'll buckle up and watch it, I'll let you know how gruesome it actually is! X

Thank you very much! X

Hi all, I just came back from my first post-op appointment and I have lost 10kg and 11cm from my waist. I deliberately avoiding weighing until this appt (3 weeks post op) and I wasn't even sure I had lost anything as I think I was a little scared to be optimistic. I am absolutely thrilled and it's made the last 3 weeks worth it. I have been cleared for soft foods and the head hunger/ crazy hormones are reducing. I just wanted to share this because I have continuously read threads on this forum and I am just so pleased I couldn't help it. I know it's one step forward but for me it's a big one Have a good day all x

I'm glad to hear you've been checked out and got an answer at least, hope you're feeling better!

Hey have you managed to seek any advice?

I hope you get some answers soon, I can understand your worry. Please let us know how you get on x

I have ordered an unflavoured Protein pack to add to Soups as I am struggling with the sickly shakes. I cannot stand sweet things at all! I agree it does seem to get better as it goes along. The first week sure was rough. The second week is improving! I can understand the soft food stage must be great, to have something other than liquid or runny stuff. Are you worried about the solid food in terms of making the right choices? Or something else? Hope you're both well xx

Hi all, A quick note of thanks to all of you for the amount of insight, information and advice you all give. It's been incredibly useful. I've spent hours reading posts over the past few weeks. I am on week 2 and I'm noticing that my energy is increasing and I'm finding it easier to get in the liquids and shakes - although the shakes take me hours from all that sipping. My question relates to Soup. I have been getting fresh soup (choosing runny versions with minimal bits), blending them and then straining. In week 1 I was doing the same but I was only managing perhaps 2 or 3 tbsp before feeling full, so I'd stop. This week I am able to get through more runny soup (about 150g). It feels great, and I have so much more energy. But I am reading and rereading my post surgery pack and I'm not sure I should be able to swallow this much so soon. I use small spoons and sip but I don't feel sick or full. Is this normal as in because it's runny soup and is a liquid, or (in my panicked mind) have I stretched my pouch already. When I have sf jelly (Jello for the US peeps - I'm from the UK), I can only manage maybe a teaspoon or 2 at most so I know the pouch is there! I am not sure if I'm worrying unnecessarily but I am cautious not to make mistakes. I have my post surgery follow up in another 2 weeks time. Many thanks x