GreenChrysalis

LA, congrats on your awesome pre-op weight loss! I think it's probably normal to get cold feet a few days before surgery. It's a big deal. And I can understand why you might think about it when you've lost 20 lbs. But if you're like me then you know that the 20 lbs will come right back plus more if you don't do something more drastic than just "dieting." I too am obsessive, it's hard for me to focus on work, I'd rather read the boards instead! The money issue is HUGE for me because I feel guilty about spending it all on me. But I know you can do it! So close, I am so excited for you! I also watched "How to Look Good Naked" and it made me cry a little. I'm glad that there's a show like that. :smile:

So I had everything in place except the financing. I couldn't finalize that until one month before surgery, which was yesterday. Now that I have the form I have cold feet, seeing it laid out like that. But you know what's really bugging me? One of the forms has spaces for four references per signer (my DH is co-signer). I haven't told four other people about this surgery. Some of the slots are for parents! I'm not going to tell mine! So now I'm wondering if I really need all of those references. If I do, then I'm sunk. I don't want to tell people just so I can put them on this application. Maybe they'll never actually call, but...I emailed back my loan rep to find out. Also, he didn't tell me that they do automatic drafts from your checking account, which I don't like at all. I've been worrying that the financing was what was going to sink me. I do have a back-up...I can increase the credit line easily on one of my credit cards. But the interest rate is worse. I feel more comfortable somehow doing that, though, because it's a bill I already have getting bigger, instead of a new bill. If that makes any sense. :smile: And there I was feeling pretty good. I haven't officially started my pre-op diet but I have started tracking my food on Spark People and weaning myself off so many carbs. I cleaned out the refrigerator and freezer this weekend so we are eating up all of the unhealthier things.

Thanks losingjustme -- we don't even talk to my in-laws but that's an entirely different story! Thanks Lap_dancer -- I am definitely not going to tell them. If you want to share your story I'd appreciate it (PM OK) but I understand if you don't, it is helpful just to know about others who have a difficult relationship with family members when it comes to weight. I see your posts on Dr. K's thread all of the time and you should be proud of yourself!

I am so sorry that you got treated this way. That sucks. But I think that he's playing you and the other girl. If you're really into him, you could give him the ultimatum -- ditch the other girl or it's over. If you get one sign that he might possibly be still dating her or someone else, it's over. But I don't think he's worth the time for that even. Kick him to the curb -- life is too short to be with someone who plays games. You can and will find better. But yes, keep the necklace. :eek:

Good for you. We don't even speak to my in-laws (long story there) but I think my own family would be judgmental enough. I didn't think about that-- I doubt any of them know that the band exists either. So if they did assume gastric bypass and ask me, I wouldn't be lying if I said no. :eek:

How did they react? Were they upset/hurt that you didn't tell them before you got it? Thanks!

See, that will be my issue. My parents live about an hour away and I know that they will comment on my food choices. If I try to eat healthier at a restaurant everybody asks me if I'm on a new diet. That's why it is damned if you do, damned if you don't. I will just have to be very cautious, I guess. Thanks for sharing.

Some people have a big problem chewing shrimp small enough so it doesn't get stuck, and they have to avoid it. I have seen it mentioned as a "potential problem food" many times. But there's not a ban on it, you should just be cautious the first time you try it. There are several foods like that. What gets stuck for one person goes down just fine for someone else, so you just have to try it and see.

Sounds good. I figure it won't be much more expensive to go back to him for fills and if something goes wrong, he will fix it. I may not be able to say the same for a different surgeon or a fill center. I hope you can post about your fill when you get it.

First off, I am pre-surgery so I can't speak to that. But I can say that I have been there. I thought for 2 1/2 years about getting the lapband. I read everything I could find and spent hours stalking on this board and others before ever posting anything. I called Inamed more than once. I scheduled surgery last summer, chickened out and canceled it. I scheduled it again, decided I wanted a different surgeon, canceled and then scheduled with a new one. I tend to overthink everything, but this is life-changing. I look at it this way. In the 2 1/2 years since I first learned about the band, I have only gotten fatter. I have failed on a few more diet attempts. I am more uncomfortable than I have ever been. I can't physically do basic things that I used to be able to do. I am reaching the point where my weight will begin to impede my life in a very serious way. I am lucky that I do not yet suffer from diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, but my knees are starting to feel the pressure of being over 100 pounds overweight. I am told it is not considered safe for me to get pregnant. Obviously, diets have not worked for me, and I have been dieting for 20 years. Yes, there are risks to getting the surgery. But there are also risks to being this overweight. There are risks to doing anything. And as compared to bypass, which I did consider, I am far more comfortable with the risks of lapband. Yes, there are people who have complications, which can happen with any surgery. There are people who do not do the research, do not know how their band works, do not follow their doctor's instructions. It is a tool and you have to know how to use it for it to work for you. I am not trying to talk you into it -- this is a very personal choice. You shouldn't let what somebody says on a forum sway you one way or the other. I just know that I wished I'd done it sooner, before I saw "300 pounds" on my scale. Before I couldn't fit comfortably into some restaurant booths anymore. That's just my take on it. I wish you the best of luck with your decision and know that there are plenty of supporters here.

Hey Sunshine, I am so sorry for your pain -- I really hope that you're feeling better soon! Hang in there! And I'm hoping naturally that I don't have anything pain meds won't touch, but who knows what will happen? I'm just going to cross my fingers and hope for the best...just counting down the days now. First to pre-op diet and then to the big day!

I graduated in 2004 and came back to work here this year (I can go to graduate school for free as an employee). Things are good. I hope things go well for you too!

OK, I have to defend West Georgia and say that it used to be like "13th grade"...I grew up in Gwinnett County and I recall people making fun of UWG when it was just West Georgia College. But since it's now a Ph.D-granting, full-fledged university, I think it's come a long way.

Oh, I know it hurts him. But it still bugs me to see them! I keep telling him that he'd rather me notice them and pluck than have a co-worker or a student (he teaches) see it and make fun of him. Especially because they're white sometimes!

And that's what I'm afraid of, definitely. I am glad that you are doing it for yourself. That's how I'm trying to look at it too -- they don't have to live with the daily ins and outs of being obese, I do. So what I do is my decision. Thanks for the reassurance!

Thank you for the hug! I know I am not the only one who grew up feeling unworthy because I was fat -- I'm sure there are others on LBT in that situation. I'm glad that you have some supportive relatives. I'm also glad that the board is around because I probably would go crazy if I didn't have someone to talk to who gets it. Thanks for sharing!

Oh, that's absolutely the truth -- I have several even more toxic relatives than the one. I guess I just keep thinking that if I tell them later, then I'll get the hurt "why didn't you tell me?" bit. Then I'll have to explain why, and it'll be ugly. They're not exactly good at owning stuff that they said/did (usually they just deny it if I bring up something unpleasant about my childhood). But I'll have to deal with it if/when that day comes.

I have pretty much decided not to tell my parents that I am getting banded. My SO will know and a few friends, but that's it. Neither of my parents are significantly overweight -- perhaps 20-25 pounds on both of them. I have been overweight my entire life. I do think that they could've helped me and perhaps I would not have become an obese adult. But we ate very stereotypical Southern food. We did not exercise as a family. I do recall my father telling me when I was 10 or so that I needed to "watch it" or I'd end up really fat. That was about the extent there. He would poke me in my stomach up until about 5 years ago (and I am 30), when I lost it and told him to keep his hands to himself. When I eat at their house, I feel like every bite is being watched as I put it into my mouth. If I take "too much" of something then my father calls me a "piggie." I try to eat as little as possible and eat my actual meal when I get home. The only time they have mentioned my weight as an adult was when I lost 25 pounds on Weight Watchers and then they told me how great and pretty I looked. They both whine about how "fat" they are to me without being sensitive to the fact that hello, I am morbidly obese. I know from past conversations that they both think of any kind of weight loss surgery as a crutch, taking the easy way out, et cetera. Even Weight Watchers was silly to them, because you had to pay for it and count points. I should be able to just eat less and exercise more. I don't have enough willpower and that's why I am fat, according to them. I'd like to think that my mother would be more sensitive to it but she would not keep it to herself -- she has told relatives things that I told her in confidence before. I can't imagine telling other relatives either. I am not really close to most of them. None of them are overweight. My grandmother put me on Slimfast & Lean Cuisines with her for a summer when I was 8. She told me that if I slimmed down and stayed that way she'd buy me a new wardrobe of clothes every year. That never happened but she was still telling me that up into my teens. I am obviously less of a person to her because I am fat. At Christmas this year my 14-year-old cousin made a fat joke and other relatives laughed, including her mother. Then she looked at me and said "no offense." I told her that she was incredibly rude and left the room. I didn't eat dinner because I was so upset and everybody asked me why I wasn't eating. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. So I have gotten the message all my life that I am a failure because I am fat...I have a "pretty face"...if I'd just "slim down"... I don't see a reason to share getting banded with any of them. If I did share, even if they got past the "giving up" part of getting WLS, then they'd constantly be asking me about it. I don't think I can deal with that kind of pressure. Yet I am having a hard time with this decision, not telling my parents especially. I'd like to hear others' experiences with telling family members.

At times I thought Charles Gibson did not stay true to his attempts to let the candidates debate each other; at one point he seemed to be arguing. I didn't watch most of the Republican debates. I did catch the Democrat debates. Nothing really surprised me, though. I am now sick of the phrase "agent of change." Obama struck me as a little stiff in comparison to the other three. I do think that Edwards was looking to align himself with either Obama or Clinton and he went with Obama (going for the VP slot if he doesn't do well in future primaries, perhaps?) I really like Bill Richardson in a lot of ways, he has the most executive experience, but I don't think he has a chance. I would vote for any of the four, but right now I am pulling for Obama. As much as I would like to have a female president, I don't entirely like Clinton's record. I consider myself independent, by the way.

I am a scab-picker and a scratcher. I had a rash a few weeks ago that cleared up with medication, but I still have some scabs from it and I will pick them absentmindedly anytime. Even until they bleed. I will also spend a long amount of time in the bathroom using the blackhead/whitehead extractor (I have blackheads on my nose) as well as plucking stray hairs from my eyebrows. I have had a few hairs that grow in the same places on my chin/neck since I was 14. I have to get rid of them ASAP. If I find one I will pluck and pluck until I finally get it. I started keeping tweezers in my purse so I can pluck them anytime. I have another pair in my car and numerous pairs around my house. When Rosie O'Donnell had her talk show, she once had a chin hair that she let grow out and she put a bead on it. That horrified me because I loathe them. But shaving doesn't get rid of them and depilatory creams, even the ones meant for facial hair, make my skin break out. Maybe I'll get laser hair removal on them someday. My husband has started to get the occasional weird hair on his ear and I beg him to let me pluck them, but he usually refuses. It feels so satisfying, through! This is an interesting thread.

I am glad that you are getting out of the situation. I do not agree that you're necessarily too young to be married (I got married at 18 and have been married for 13 years, so it can work). But your husband should be making you #1, not his sister. She jeopardized your HOME for Pete's sake, and you're being the bitch? Outrageous. I might suggest counseling but it doesn't sound like he'd be willing to go for it anyway. Just follow the advice of some other posters and make sure you get everything in your name ASAP so he can't screw up your credit or your finances. Good riddance to him.

Rape is not about sex. It's about having power over another person and being completely in control. So physical castration is not necessarily a deterrent to rapists.

Hi CTerry, I understand how you feel. I researched the band and wavered back and forth for just over two years before finally deciding to go for it. It's a major decision. I think it's normal to be apprehensive -- I definitely am! I also know that it's the right thing for me to do and that it can work for me in a way that all of the diets did not. Yes, there are people who don't get the right amount of restriction and it takes several fills to get there. But I didn't get to be this weight quickly, so I don't think it's realistic for me to expect that it will just disappear overnight. There are also people who "get around" the band by eating high-calorie foods that go through quickly. There are people who don't take the time to understand how the band works and don't follow their doctor's instructions. I love reading these boards and I've gotten a lot out of them, but ultimately it's up to me to make the band work once I'm banded. I know that I have problems with "head hunger" and emotional eating, which is why I am beginning counseling to work on this. I think the weight probably will come off of you slower because you are lower BMI but that doesn't mean that you can't lose it. You just have to work at it. But we all have to work at it. With the right restriction, you will get fuller, faster. That is the key for me -- I never seem to get full. But if I physically can't eat another bite without feeling/getting ill, then I will be forced to pay closer attention to the quantity and quality of what I am eating. I am resolved to make this work. And I know that you can do it too. Good luck and it's nice to meet you!

When my DH and I got married, he weighed 50 pounds more than me. We are the same height. But he started gaining and so did I. For most of the time that we were married, we weighed about the same. I did at one point weigh about 25 pounds less than him (via Weight Watchers) but now, I am 60 pounds more. It was definitely embarrassing when I told him that. I think it might've been when he suggested I borrow one of his shirts and I pointed out that there's no way it would button over my gut. But he is very supportive and I will keep him updated on my mini-goals and goals.

Hi all, you can see all of my info in my signature. Right now, I'll just be glad not to see a "3" anymore when I get on the scale.