paradigm7

ME too! LOL! I was like..."well, this forum certainly took a turn..." And I rushed here to give my 2 cents, and then... seeds.

Have you tried unsweetened apple sauce? That should be ok pre-solids, and give you a taste of fruit.

If you haven't already you may want to consider taking to a counseller or a therapist, this sounds like something that may fester within you and may cause you to sabotage yourself.

I had Lap Band, developed GERD and due to overuse of Protonix, I developed a kidney stone. So it was then that I decided that I had to move on the GERD issue. I had the band removed in April 2021 (no regain, but I didn't get to my goal weight with the band) and now I'm revising to RNY soon. I was fearful of RNY when my surgeon told me it was the best way to resolve the GERD. And after watching a video, I realized that my fear was based on Lap Band marketing. In order for Lap Band to be successful, they had to make their competitor look bad. So Lap Band took old data about RNY (before surgical improvements were made) and used complication rates of the older style RNY surgery that was from I believe the 1980's?
So when you say that RNY is a permanent surgery... are you aware that RNY is reversible? You went forth with sleeve surgery and they removed about 80% of your stomach, do you not think that's permanent? It's more permanent than RNY. Sure things are rerouted, but nothing is removed. So it can all be rerouted to "normal" if necessary.
There's many, many people on this forum that have revised from other wls (Band, Sleeve) to RNY and are happy and thriving. I hope to be one soon.