Hunzi

Thanks everyone! I'm doing better today. I went in for my 2 week followup with Dr McB, and we had a chat about what probably went wrong. She said they'll never know for sure, but most likely she nicked me with the electric cautery when she removed the fat pad they take off before they sew the fold of the stomach over. Either the caudery gave me a tiny puncture, or a burn that ulcerated a few days later. Either way, I ended up with a tiny leak which lead to the infection. I'll need to heal up for at least 6 months before we think about trying again. Even then, the concern is that there may be scaring which will be in the way of the band placement. Unfortunately, we won't know until she goes in and actually looks. If the scaring isn't bad, she can place the band as usual, or she may need to place it slightly lower, which would leave me with a larger pouch. If the scaring is bad, then she may not be able to place a band at all. In some ways, I think she'd like me to opt for another procedure when the time comes. She sounds pretty enthused about the gastric sleeve, which she feels is like the band without the foreign body. I doubt I'll go for that. I'm pretty opposed to changing my anatomy in any way (adding an adjustable and removeable device is one thing, actually cutting off parts is a whole other ball game.) I'm not making any decisions for at least 6 months, and then we may have to duke it out with the insurance company again. I'm just hoping for not too much trouble. So I'm in a holding pattern for a while. I'll keep trying to lose on my own in the meantime. Ironically though, I think I can only lose about another 10lbs before I fall below a 40BMI and will have troubles getting insurance to pay for the band. We'll all just have to pray about it. I'm going to re-post my notes from the first week postop on this thread and add my notes from the 2 weeks that followed int the hospital just for everyone's info. Hopefully no one will ever need this info, but the less than good outcome stories are good to know too! Next time, my story will have a happy ending! Always Hunzi working on getting better, stronger and ready for round 2

I'm a pad girl now. I tend to have pretty light periods, just one day of light flow and a couple of days of spoting, so it's too light to justify using a tampon. I'm not on BCPs at the moment, but when I am, I take those so I only have a period every 3 or 4 months, so it's even less of a bother. Always Hunzi

Ok, I've come back to this board over and over for the past couple of weeks trying to think of what to say, so I guess I'll just babble thru this. I was banded June 4th. I went into the surgery super healthy! I did everything my surgeon had told me and hadn't cheated on the pre-op diet. The surgery was a perfect according to Dr McB. But I woke up with some pain, and had a lot of trouble with pain while drinking. I gave a pretty good accounting of my first week on the Post-op thread (first page). I was trying to drink like crazy, but never could get in enough. I ended up seriously dehydrated. So on June 10, I was back in the ER. I thought it was just dehydration and that they'd be able to help get me back in balance and things would finally get better. The upper GI showed a funky spot on my stomach (looked kind of like a leak, but didn't act like one), and again the next morning the 2nd one did too, and the CT scan. So my surgeon decided to do an exploratory surgery to see what was going on. Turns out, there probably was a tiny leak, that had already sealed itself, but that funky spot was infected. So out the band went! I had it for just one week. ;-( I spent the next two weeks (June 10-22) in the hospital recovering from the infection. Not fun at all! (It's a long story, if you want to hear more, I'll post it) I'm back to the Dr's tomorrow for my 2 week follow up. We'll chat then about what the options are for me now. I'm not opposed to trying again, although it's a bigger leap of faith the second time! No matter what, I'll spend a few months to a year getting better and stronger before another try. What went wrong? We aren't sure. I think I just had swelling way beyond the norm and it popped the stitches (2 of them) and caused the leak which lead to the infection. Nothing anyone could anticipate or control. So, I'll be here cheering on all you Jazzy Junies, but apparently I don't get to play along just yet. Good news is I have lost 40lbs since I started the pre-op diet, (lost about 10+ in the hospital). I'm still eating like I had the band (actually I just can't eat much more than I would have with the band while things heal up), mostly I'm up to mushies, with the a few bites of very well chewed solid Proteins, but I can't eat much more than a cup of food. Always Hunzi who got out of it all alive, with a few scars, and a lot of stories to tell!

I started out thinking I'd keep it really private. Heck I didn't even tell my DH when I started looking at this the first time in 2005. I did tell him once I was serious about it, but then the insurance denied it. In the mean time, both my MIL and SIL got bands. So this time, I'm not keeping it a secret, but I'm not going out of my way to tell people either. Obviously my DH and DD, knew because I talked about it alot. My DS is fairly obivios, so he didn't actually know until I told him when he called me in the hospital (on my cell phone). I told two close friends first, then when they were really supportive, I told a few of my Mary Kay girlfriends, who are always super positive and supportive. I debated telling my big sister. She can be both supportive or not. But ironically she called me last week to tell me that she was going to have gallbladder surgery, so I told her. She was great. I haven't told my MIL or SIL yet, but we only talk now and then (they're great, but not overly attentive). I know they'll cheer me on too. So I'm pretty lucky to have a lot of really good people in my life so I decided to be pretty open with my surgery. Always Hunzi

Hey everyone! I thought I'd check in. (Warning! I'm babbling alot - Blame it on the Lortab and I have a lot to tell! Some of this is from my diary but I thought it might help someone.) I was banded on June 4th. I was super nervous! Almost to the point of backing out nervous. I joked to myself that the anesthesiologist should lurk in the hospital lobby and put me out as soon as I crossed the threshold! So after dealing with my little voices arguing for and against surgery for the two days before, THE DAY finally arrived. I had tried switched to Clear liquids the last two day pre-op, and really tried to push Water as much as I could, because I felt a little dehydrated. So I drank and drank before midnight on the 3rd, but the morning of the 4th I was still peeing pretty dark. I figured I'd make it up with the IV. So I needed to be at the hospital at 7am and my surgery was scheduled for 8:30am (Dr McBride's 1st of the day) on the 4th. Got to bed around midnight the night before and work up at 6am. Got ready and it was just a 10 minute drive over to the hospital for us. Checked in at registration, waited a little, signed some paperwork, got my oh so fashionable bracelets, then back to the waiting room for another 15 or 20 minutes. Then a tech called my name and someone else's and both of us went upstairs with our families (I just had DH). Tech Jacquelyn showed me to my little pre-op area, and I met Nurse Geri. She gave me my lovely gown and told me to strip down and put it on. Then they took all my stuff and put it in a locker. Nurse Geri got me situated on the bed and put on the little booties, (and I hated that my legs were like hairy gorilla's because I'm getting them waxed next week! - so embarrassing!) Of course she didn't mind at all. Then she put a Scopolamine patch behind my ear, and started my IV and gave me a shot of Lovenox in the thigh. The Anesthesiologist's resident Dr Lowell, stopped by and talked to me for a couple of minutes about what to expect, and later my surgeon's fellow stopped by and said hello, double checked all my info and signed off on my procedure (initialed my tummy!). The pre-op area of UNMC was very nice, it's was all just built a couple of years ago with very soothing lighting and cool fiber-optic stars in the ceiling. I think it was almost 8:30 and I still hadn't seen Dr McBride, but I didn't worry. After another 15 minutes or so, Dr Lowell was back, and said he was going to give me some Versed. Then we wheeled off down a couple of corridors to the OR. I was surprised by how big and very white the room was! They moved me to the other bed, and I remember meeting Dr Margalles, and thinking as she introduced herself, "you're the anesthesiologist" and "I think I might have met you once before about 10yrs ago for some care for my DD" but I was too sleepy to say anything and that's all I remember until Dr Lowell woke me up in recovery! I got to recovery around 10:30am and my nurse there took great care of me, I had oxygen, and she gave me another shot of Lovenox in my tummy. We chatted about Mary Kay (my job) and I had brought goodie bags of samples for everyone. About 12:30, they moved me over to the Extended Stay area where I was going to spend the night. I wasn't in any pain until I switched to the bed, and it wasn't too bad sort of "too many sit-ups", with a bit of burning when I pulled at the incisions. I wasn't expecting too much because I have a pretty high pain tolerance. I was in a nice private room, and my DH came in and stayed until around 2:30pm or so, then I sent him home because he hadn't had anything to eat yet. I was on bedrest for 2 hours, and fell asleep for a while. I was only allowed a few ice chips for a few hours, and I was sooo thirsty! Around 6pm, my nurse (the 2nd one) brought me a cup of ice chips and just told me to limit them to a few at a time. Lots of pain. OMG. LOTS of PAIN. Apparently I was super swollen. I only was able to drink about 100cc of water all day long. Got up and walked around at 6pm and 11pm. Was able to pee after my 6pm walk (but it was still pretty dark urine). I think they hung 3 or 4 bags of IV fluids during my stay and I only went pee about 3 times! June 5 - The next morning, the hospital's surgical staff did general rounds, then the surgeon's Fellow, Dr Varnell, came in and saw me, and about 1pm I saw Dr McBride! I teased her that she must have been in the OR because she had left her marks on me! She's 8 months preggers, and apparently fell down after my surgery so they made her stay in Labor and Delivery for a few hours which is why I didn't see her yesterday post-op. I got to go home around 2pm. Got home and settled in and got a phone call from my DH's office - They knew I had surgery, but not what kind, and they called to see if I'd rather have flowers delivered or pizza. LOL! Since I already had 3 flower arrangements, I told them to send pizza for the family. That was a special kind of torture, because she asked me about a dozen questions about what we'd like. Irony at it's best! I can't fault them, I could have picked the flowers! And it was nice not to have the family fussing around in the kitchen and coming up to ask me a zillion questions about food. The pizza arrived around 6pm, they ate downstairs, and I stayed up in my flower scented bedroom! (Which is my major coping mechanism for the next 2 weeks!) Home from the hospital. I was pretty sore. I'm also having trouble getting down liquids. I'm still a bit bloated from surgery. I hope the swelling goes down soon because I'm starting to get dehydrated. I took one dose (10ml) of pain meds when I got home and one dose at bedtime (20ml). Took a colace gel cap - had a very hard time getting it down it got stuck and I had major pain and nausea until it went down. I'll skip those until the swelling goes down a lot more. Slept with a heating pad. Slept pretty well. June 6 - Actually I'm just feeling pretty dry and in a little pain. More muscle soreness today, and now (6am) I've got a lot of gas rumbling around in my stomach. I'm going to take more pain meds and see if I can stay ahead of the pain today. 4pm: I've managed to get down nearly all the rest of my Isopure. So that's 10oz Fluid and 20g Protein. I've also had my chewable Vitamins and Calcium. Still have a lot of gas pain with every little sip, but not as much in between. 8pm yay me! I had a whole protein bullet and it went down well - still took a couple of hours, but it's progress! Got a shower for the 1st time since surgery. Removed the bandages. Looks sort of icky. Had a fruit bar. Feel pretty bad, thirsty. I'm going to take some Lortab and got to bed. June 7 - Ok, still having trouble with drinking without pain. I worked all morning to get in 8oz of water. Took lots of gas-x. Still working on the vitamins. 12:30 took more Lortab. Mixed up a shake of 8oz labrada lean body banana & cream and 1 scoop of chocolate Protein powder plus a splash of divinci SF caramel. Much better than the banana plain. I'm going to try to get it all in while the pain meds are working then grab a nap. 7pm: I think Ive had a break through! I've felt awful all afternoon, hot, low grade fever, gassy, dehydrated. Just miserable. Finally I decided to take a 20ml dose of Lortab, lie down and wait for it to work, and then try to get in some fluids. It worked! I've had about .75 liters so far. I'm going to try to drink some more. TMI alert! - I finally had a BM today. (Ok, it's totally a liquids in/liquids out situation, but at least something is happening! June 8 - Well that was exciting! At 2:30am we were roused out of bed by the tornado sirens. (It turned out to be an EF2 tornado in the SW part of the city. The damage missed our area by a few blocks) Had to hustle down two flights of stairs into the basement. Major pain. Got the all clear and went back upstairs around 3:30, took another dose of lortab and got back to sleep around 4am. Good news is even though my stomach was just roiling with gas, I was able to pass a lot of it, so I feel a little less bloated today. 11am: I've been able to drink about 16oz of water! Yay! Did take one swig too big and paid for it dearly. Pain, nausea, saliva glands in overdrive - but I was able to stand up and walk it off, so I didn't puke. I'll take it easy for a little bit, then get back to the water. I think I have a big gas bubble sitting up under my diaphragm, because I'm feeling a little short of breath this morning, like I can't quite draw a deep enough one. Some shoulder pain too. 3pm- I took a nap for about 2 hours. I'm feeling better now, except for the shoulder pain. Oh and joy...TOM started. At least it's still on schedule. After my nap, I took some more Lortab, and about 4pm I started on a protein bullet. I finished it around 5pm. Yay! Now back to water. 7pm starting to have more pain and getting short of breath again. It's the pain - I start breathing more shallow and just cant draw a deep breath. Took more lortab. Got my water and vitamins in after my 7pm lortab. Feel much better. Also had another Protein Drink. 11pm Ok I've had my protein drink. I feel good. Clearly the key is to keep the pain under control. I'm sure in a couple of days I have recovered enough not to need the pain meds. June 9 Today, I feel better. I'm still having a lot of pain when I swallow and I had one incident where I took a sip too large and felt like I was going to hurl (I still need to keep the sips in the teaspoon range), and I'm still having to work pretty hard to get in enough fluids and protein, but now that I've figured out I HAVE to take the Lortab first then wait, then drink, I'm at least making progress. Feeling less muscular/incision pain today. Actually got out of the house (had to go to the pharmacy for a refill on the Lortab. I'm actually really surprised by how much I've needed the Lortab! I hardly even need pain relievers. But I'm not fighting it. I know it's just for this week or so and things will be back to normal. I had to take off one of my steri-strips today. One of my incisions was bleeding a little in the hospital, but it eventually stopped. When I took off the bandage on Friday, and showered, that steri-strip looked like it was a bit puffier than the others. Pain was similar to the others, no redness or excessive warmth (they all felt warm). I've been running a low grade fever -mostly 99ish, since coming home. It went up to 100, then briefly to 101 (like an hour) when I was at the worst of the dehydration, but hit normal once I finally got that first liter of water in. So today the steri-strip oozed out a tiny bit of gunk - like less than a drop. I pulled off the strip, checked the wound, no redness or streaks, no other drainage. So I cleaned the area, put some peroxide on it, let it dry a bit, then covered it with a band-aid. I'll shower tonight, then pull off the bandage and let it dry out again. It's not open much. I think it just leaked and stayed more moist than the others right after surgery. I'll keep an eye on it!. Temp is 99 which is consistent with how much water I've been able to drink. I don't think it's infected. Sorry this was soo long! Always Hunzi

I've always weighed myself first thing in the morning, nude after I pee. I'm 5 days post-op, and I'm still doing it. I like seeing the minor fluxuations, because I wouldn't want to get on once a week or once a month and not understand why I went up or down 5lbs (because of TOM or something). I'm not afraid of a trend - if it's in the wrong direction that's a good indictation I need to look at making a change. Right now, 5 days post-op, I'm so not freaking out that I'm barely dropping any weight (only 2lbs since my just before surgery weigh-in) because I know that the focus is on healing, I'm bloated like crazy, and I'm still dehydrated because I'm still having trouble getting in enough fluids. I figure I'll see a change in a week or so when the swelling goes down more and I can start flushing out some of this excess bloat, but I'm not expecting to see any huge drops like some people have experienced. I think if I wasn't weighing daily, I might have hoped for that and been disappointed at my 2 week follow up. Always Hunzi still working on the basics of drinking more than a few oz of Water a day!

I'm 43. I was banded on the Wed June 4th, and since I'm in pretty good shape and have a really high pain tolerance, I thought I'd be up and running by now, but I'm not. I'm still having a lot of gas and shoulder pain, and am having trouble just getting in enough liquids. Luckily, I work for myself, so I'm taking an extra week off, and my DH is planning to work from home next week to cover all the Mom's Taxi stuff my DD14 needs since I can't drive until I'm off the Lortab. I think I'd advise people to schedule two weeks, if you need less, bonus, if you need more, hopfully your job is flexible. I just know 4 days definitely wasn't enough for me and that surprised me. Always Hunzi

Hi everyone! I'm Hunzi and I was banded June 4th. I was super nervous! I almost backed out because I kept telling myself, I'm healthy, do I really want to do this??? I'm 43, live in Omaha, Nebraska, and have been a Mary Kay Beauty Consultant for the past 20 years. I'm married to my high school sweetheart, for the past 24yrs and we have two kids, a boy 19 in college and a girl 14 starting high school in the fall. I felt great right after the surgery, but have had a tougher time here at home. Lots of pain, lots of gas, and getting dehydrated. Happily, I think I may have just turned the corner because I was finally able to drink more than a teensy sip of Water all day. Whew! I'm feeling much better at the moment! Yay! I'm looking forward to getting in shape! Always Hunzi

Well it looks like I'm too late. I do like Powder Room Gone Wild, but my suggestion would have been.....The All Girl Band! Always Hunzi

OMG. <YA'LL eyes your close folks sensitve> I can not wait to buy eff-me shoes. Always Hunzi getting banded in less than 36hrs

What an awesome V-log! I think you did a great job of talking about your journey so far and very clever/amusing extras! I'm looking forward to next week. I'm getting banded on Jun 4. (And I'm excited, but nervous, so it's good to hear how someone else is doing just before me). All the best! Always Hunzi

Hi there! I'm on the final couint down. I'm getting banded on June 4th. I'm a little confused about something and wanted some reassurance: I've been low-carbing for about a month (with a couple of off days) and I found I was eatting anywhere from 1000 to 1600 calories those first few weeks. At first I was supposed to switch to "liquids" on the 28th. The first day wasn't too bad, but by the second I was feeling pretty hungry. I was getting anywhere from 400-600 calories. I started to feel pretty low on the energy scale! So I mentioned this to my case manager when I saw her for the pre-op testing and asked if I could have a bit of solid Protein. She said I was doing great with my weight loss and that one "sensible meal" was fine. So for the past two days I've added in a bit of solid Proteins and felt much better. I'll have a pouch of tuna, or a chicken breast or a chicken patty. I've kept it low carb and I'm getting in around 600-700 calories a day. I know I'll switch to Clear Liquids only on the 2 last days. My question is, do you think I'm twarting my goal of shrinking my liver down with what I'm eating? For those of you who want to see exactly what I've eaten, I'm Hunzi at www.TheDailyPlate.com I think you can view my food diary. I've tracked every morsel! I just want to be sure I'm doing everything right so I can go into this surgery as healthy and prepared as possible! Thanks! Always Hunzi soon-to-be-smokin'-hot

Me too. I'm scheduled to have my surgery on June 4th. I'm thrilled and terrified. I'm really pleased, and I DO want the surgery, but there's this little voice in my head saying things like "I'm overweight but honestly I'm pretty darned healthy - why do I want to do this? Is it just vanity? OMG what if something goes wrong?" Then I look at my very MO husband who can barely walk up the stairs anymore and is having loads of health problems and I remember why. I NEED to be healthy. I NEED to be strong. I NEED to do this for my 14yr old DD who still needs her mom and for my 19yr old DS who doesn't think he does but calls from his dorm room when he's sick. I NEED to do this for them, not just for my vanity. But I'm not going to object to being smokin' hot too! Always (ready to turn a few heads) Hunzi

My nurse coordinator told me I just needed to lose a little weight before surgery and to start going low carb when I went in for my first meeting (I still haven't met my surgeon!) So I'll have been watching what I eat since April 28, and really got serious after she called with the surgery date on May 14 (with one off day where I fell into a bag of jelly beans). I'll continue to watch what I eat until next week and then on the 28th I switch to liquids until surgery so for a week. So for me, it's been lower carb (but not like Atkins I've just been watching the carbs, and focusing on getting in the proteins) for a month plus 1 week of liquids only. Always Hunzi

Oh how I love this thread! I am NOT going to miss: *My thighs rubbing together and having to use baby powder or body glide all the time. *Snoring - and being embarrassed to split a room with my girlfriends on a trip. *Not having enough energy. *Getting out of breath walking up the stairs. *Only being able to walk .5-1 mile at 2mph on my treadmill in 30 minutes. *not being able to wear cute clothes *not being able to wear really cute shoes *having my feet hurt all the time. *worrying about the example I'm setting for my daughter *not being as active as I'd like *not being smokin' hot *not being great in bed because I'm self conscious about my body *feeling unattractive *not being as strong and flexible as I'd like *asking for a seat belt extender on the plane *not being able to wear sleeveless shirts (after I hit goal, ps here I come!) *getting rashes under my arms and breasts *stress incontinence *lack of muscle tone *worrying about how I'm in the fashion industry and I don't look the part *not being able to shop at Victorias Secret Always Hunzi

I'm getting banded June 4th. I'm a little nervous, because it's the first time I've had surgery. I'm not too nervous about the pre-op stuff - I've found several Protein shakes/drinks I like, I'm stocking the pantry and freezer with both band friendly items and dinners for the family. I started eating with a tiny fork. The only snafu I've had is that today I fell face first into a bag full of Jelly Bellies! Happily they're gone now, and I won't buy more. I resolve to start getting on the treadmill as of tomorrow morning! Back on track! Tomorrow I'm going to start shakes plus a lean cuisine a day (voluntarily). I have to go to liquids only on the 28th. I imagine I'm dropping to Clear Liquids only on the 1st or so, NPO on the 3rd. Here's to the new me! Always Hunzi

I have a date! June 4 for me!!! Always Hunzi

I'm the wife of an AF retiree, and we have Tricare Prime. (Triwest). I've seen my PCM for a referal to the surgeon, been to the info seminar and submitted all my pre-authorization paperwork. The bariatric dept isn't expecting any problems with Triwest. Now all I have to worry about is that I don't have any co-morbidities (not that I want any!) and I've lost nearly 15lbs recently (Oh sure - now my body decided to have a total mystery weight loss - I haven't changed a thing). I just want to be sure I'm still over the 200% thing so there's no problem with the approval. I may go to the surgeon's office with my pockets full of quarters or diving weights and drink about a couple of liters of Water before I get on the scale! Always Hunzi

Hi y'all! Here's where I reintroduced myself, in case you missed it: http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f18/re-intro-long-ramble-53786/ I've taken the first baby steps on this journey again. I called my PCM and she gave me a referral to the surgeon (which I have received but it's just for a visit), and I've been to the informational seminar (DH was sick and didn't come with me) and turned in all my paperwork. They said that it usually takes 2-4 weeks to get the approval. Next up for me is to see the psychologist and wait for the surgeon's office to phone once the insurance gives the nod (Tricare). I'm both excited and terrified. Getting a lapband has been unattainable for me for so long, and I had just about given up hope, but now it looks like it could happen in the next few weeks/months. Timing wise, I hope it happens sooner rather than later because I'm going for #1 in my Mary Kay national area (out of 1200+ consultants) so I can't be out of commission for too long, and I'll have a big/huge/exhausting business trip (Mary Kay Seminar) in mid July and I want to either be up and running by then (and back on solid foods comfortably) or at least not on the pre-diet. I'd also rather not delay the surgery until after the meeting because I'm always so pumped up and ready to work afterwards that I'd hate to spoil that groove. Surgery in April, gives me May and June to recover and finish up my goals by June 30 (which is our MK year end). Otherwise, the best time for me to do this would probably be in late Sept/early Oct, and it would really suck to have to wait that long. In Other News: I decided to start keeping a food journal so I could really look at what I eat and show the nutritionist. I am not actively changing my eating habits at the moment because I wanted to get a really good look at what I do when I'm not consciously watching what I eat. What I've found so far has surprised me. I rarely eat over 1600 calories a day. I would have guessed more like 2500. And I'm not missing anything on my journal. Even the little "walk in the kitchen and grab a few pieces of crystallized ginger" moments have been tracked - wow, I need to stop that! I'm eating 6-12 little pieces/day (to the tune of an extra 150-300 calories). So I guess this will be my last bag of ginger goodies! I have fallen off the exercise wagon the past couple of weeks. For stupid reasons: DH was home sick several days each week, and he just throws off the whole groove of my days at home when he's here. DD also caught the same bug, so that took a few days out of my schedule to do doctors visits for both of them. But today, I'm sitting here with my walking shoes strapped to my feet and I'm off to get in at least a mile as soon as I submit this (I'll report back when I've accomplished it!). Strangely enough, I've lost about 10lbs in the past week or so, I knew I was retaining a little Water from TOM, but wow I went from 308 (my highest weight ever at home) to 296. If only it was always that easy. On the fashion front, I've been making myself over. I joined a fashion forum, and got a subscription to a newsletter that helps me figure out what looks good on my rounder shape, bought a few new dresses, blouses, and belts (I never wear a belt!), started getting my nails done again, visited my stylist to have my shapeless mop colored, cut and styled. And on top it all off, Mary Kay just came out with new mineral powders and colors so I'm tossing all my old make up and renewing everything! Woohoo! A brand new me who feels smoking hot, and I don't even have the band yet! On the DH front, I'm still worried a bit. I've started talking about how I'm going to have to eat very differently, and it will be hard on me if he expects me to "have dinner on the table" so to speak when I'm on liquids. I know he says it won't be a problem, but I can tell he's going to whine. My plan is to make up quite a few dinner kits for the freezer - the problem is never that he won't cook, it's that he looks in the fridge and sees only stuff to make grilled cheese, but when I look in there I can make a 3 course dinner - it's a lack of cooking imagination when faced with raw ingredients. My DD will get very tired of his 3 note repertoire after the first week or so. So having bunches of ready made dinners planned will help preempt that problem. I'll also put a few frozen dinners (kid/lean cuisine) in the freezer for DD to use as a backup plan. So those are my baby steps. Now I'm off for my mile+ and then I'll phone for the psych appt. Any and all suggestions and comments are welcome! Always Hunzi

Elizabeth, Thank you so much for the welcome. Your idea of inviting him to come with me to all the informational sessions is brilliant. When I went through them all last time, I went solo. He's not unfamiliar with the band, since he's heard me talk about it for years, and his mom and sister have both been banded in the last few years, (but we don't live close by, so we only hear a few minor details now and then) and he knows they have both lost about 100lbs. I will be getting the band for me. Selfish, a little. But I do hope that I can be a shining example for him and for my DD14, who is becoming overweight too. When I am more fit and able to exercise more, I can show her how much fun an active lifestyle can be. I also wouldn't mind looking smoking hot. I plan to have a little fun with this. Always Hunzi who knows there will be a lot of work with that fun

Warning this is a bit rambly. Wow. My insurer just announced they are finally covering the band. I have researched and tried to get it for the past 8 years, but gave up hope after being denied twice. So for the past year or two, I've just been drifting along, not overly paying attention to new info on the band, or thinking much about what life would be like being banded. So, now that I have the opportunity, I need to decide if this is still the best option for me (yes!), and if the timing is right (I hope so! I've been praying for a while that the Lord would help me to reach a healthy weight and live a healthy lifestyle, so I would like to believe this is the answer to those prayers), and remember everything that I've forgotten (like everything about being banded, how to deal with food) Here are the things that have popped into my head since yesterday when I heard I had a chance to get the band. Timing - I'm just making a breakthrough with my Mary Kay business, doing everything right, taking it seriously, moving towards a leadership role, so I'm a little worried that having to devote a lot of energy towards get surgery, and dealing with any challenges will distract me from my goals. Some little stuff - Vitamins - I've been taking a fairly good amount of vitamins/supplements each day. I take a multi-Vitamin, 2 flax oil capsills, 2 osteo-flex caps, 2 Vitamin D pills, a chewable vit C, a baby asprin, 2 Calcium chews, a green tea cap, a zinc, and 2 magnesium tablets. Yeah I know it seems like a lot, but it really does make me feel better when I take them. But I take them all at once, usually with a big glass of Water. I was taking them today and realized this was probably a habit I'd need to change/adjust after getting the band. I could probably take the smaller pills (D, Mag, Zinc, baby asprin, BCP) with just a couple of sips of water, but I doubt I'd be able to take those bigger horse pill types with out gulping down water.... So my question would be, what do you take vitamin/nutritional supplement wise? and how do you take them? On the fitness front, I've been walking regularly on my treadmill since January. I just started walking for 30 minutes on my treadmill at whatever pace I could manage. At first I was only walking about 0.7 or 0.8 miles. I've been fairly consistant about exercising 3-4 times a week, and I'm now up to 1.5 miles in about 40 minutes. My goal is to add a quarter mile a week until I'm walking 3 miles and then get the time under 45 minutes. Then maybe I'll add in 1 more mile, and shoot for an hour. I've always wanted to be as fit as possible before I had the surgery in the hopes it would help my recovery. Back 3-4 years or so ago, when I was trying to get banded the first time, I tried out a bunch of Protein drinks, and found several I liked. I wouldn't have any problem having one or two a day. I know protein is a big issue, but I have always worried that I wouldn't eat a balanced enough diet if I had to focus so much on protein....how do I get enough Fiber? I really like veggies, salads, and granolas! In fact, I enjoy having a bowl of vanilla yogurt and granola (BareNaked brand Fruit and Nuts with extra dried fruits mixed in - whatever I have around - cranberries, dried cherries, raisens, apicots, you get the picture!) for Breakfast a few times a week. And if I have any, I'll top the bowl with fresh raspberries. I think I'd miss having that bowl of crunchy, chewy delishousness! Does anyone here eat something like granola for breakfast? I don't have a problem with reducing the portion, but worry I'd have to give it up entirely. I'm a little worried about how well my family is going to support me on this. DH and DD14 will go along with me (DS19 is off to college so not really a concern), but they may whine a lot about the changes in dinners etc - I do all the shopping and cooking, and I know they aren't ready to give up a lot of the "goodies" that make losing weight harder. And I'm the primary cook in the family - and tend to cook large amounts - so not only will I need to rethink WHAT I'm serving, but how much I'm making since there will technically be one less adult at the dinner table. I guess that means my foodsaver will get more of a workout and I'll just put things in the freezer for other meals. Mental Health/Head Games (Deep thoughts alert!) . I've always been overweight, from maybe 20--25lbs over when a young girl, being around 170ish in high school, picked up around 40-50lbs with each kid, to now being MO at 5'7"/300lbs but am quite healthy. The best weight I've ever been is about 145 when I was in college/about the time I got married, and I thought I was still fat even though I can see now that I wasn't. So I'm going to have to work on retraining my brain a little. More importantly, I'm not sure how well DH is going to handle me losing a lot of weight. He's over 400lbs, and while he professes to want to lose weight, he feels helpless to do so. I'm hoping that I will lead with a good example and he'll opt to get the band himself, or choose another way to lose weight. He was relatively fit until he left the Air Force in 2000, and then he gained weight at an alarming rate - 150-200lbs in probably 2 years. He's developed all sorts of health problems related to being MO. What I'm worried about is that DH will subconsciously sabotage me and feel threatened by my weight loss. Big stuff to think about! Would it stop me from getting the band? No, but I recognise that it's not out of the realm of possibilities that I'd end up divorced. I'm also worried about me - how I treat, or would treat him when I lose weight. We've known each other since high school and he was always the fit one, the high school athelete, the one who biked 15 miles to work. He struggled with the AF weight standards since he's only 5-6, but he always managed to get back into standards (often using poor dieting habits - working out like crazy while nearly starving himself) until he got out of the AF. He got out and went on what can only be described serious binge streak. I was horrified. He gained and gained and gained, and while he'd give some lip service to wanting to lose weight, he made no real efforts. I've always just had a little creeping weight gain - a little here, a little there. No major gains at once. Over time, I realized that a lot of my weight gain/problem eating habits stemed from trying to "Keep up" with him. We'd order a ****a, he'd eat half so I'd eat half, otherwise he might eat the leftovers. Not rational but it was the thought process. He also eats "by the clock" and would pressure me to join him, even when I wasn't really hungry. Now that I've realized a lot of these poor habits and pressures, I'm able to work around them, but he still feels somewhat rejected if I don't want ice cream, or if I declare I'm not hungry just because it's 5pm. His health problems are also causing challenges. He can barely walk a few feet without being winded, and is in a lot of pain in his joints. He isn't able to do many of the things we used to do for fun or that were his tasks/household chores in the past. I have to work at being patient. We realized a few years ago that he was both too busy with work and not physically fit enough to go on big vacations like going to Disney World where we would often walk 10 miles a day. So now DD and I go on those sorts of trips without him. So you could say that we now vacation separately because of the weight problems. I'm pretty sure that my frustration over that has made be act unkindly towards him at times. (I do however really enjoy taking the just-the-girls trips!) So I am worried about the larger ramifications of losing weight. and the pressures it may put on my marriage, but at the same time, I know I deserve to fit and healthy, and I WANT to be healthy. So, we'll just have to deal with the challenges as they come. Ready to get healthy! Hunzi Think Pink! www.marykay.com/jfloyd

but getting denied still sucks. No surprises, I've been denied coverage for the lapband by Tricare. They were however ever so kind as to note on the denial that they'd be more than happy to approve me for RNY. Arg! I don't want RNY! I want a lapband! I have no interest in having my insides cut up and rearranged. I'm feeling pretty discouraged about it today. I need to figure out what all I really need to do for an appeal. Quite frankly, even with an appeal, the chances of approval are next to nil. This just sucks. It will be years before I'll be in a financial situation where I'd be able to self pay. And those are years I'd rather spend healthy and fit rather than fat. I could try sucking it up and dieting again, but given I've never been able to lose more than 40lbs, and even that took a combined effort of WW, Xenical, Metforin and exercising 2.5 hours a day, losing 130lb seems a bit daunting. And I gained half that loss back. It's hard to imagine maintaining 130lb loss without some extra help. I will not let them cut me up. I guess I'd rather stay fat. Not really, but I am frustrated. Tricare sucks today. Always Hunzi who will get over her pity party, get to work on her appeal, and start thinking about how to self pay

I really don't do any of these things. I've never ordered extra things, or hidden food to keep people from knowing I ate it. (Actually I have, but it was to keep DH or a kid from knowing I spent money on a burger or something because we're on a tight budget, not because I ate it, because DH would fuss or a child would feel deprived.) I have hidden certain foods at home before, mainly to keep someone else from eating them. My dirty little food secrets are more along the lines of opening a can of sweetened condensed milk and having a few spoonfuls, or eating 4 inches of a roll of cookie dough (Personal mantra: Cookie dough is the devil.) I am coming to realize how fortunate I am that although I'm 130lbs overweight, I do not have many of the food demons that others are working to overcome. I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I really should probably write this on the why we are fat thread. My personal food demons are family stresses and a huge legacy of body dysmorphia brought on by a very critical petite mother. She made me feel huge when I was perhaps on the larger size of normal. I see it now, because my daughter is very much the same body type I was, and I have several t-shirts and dresses still from childhood that she now wears or tries on. I am constantly amazed to see she can wear them, and I know she is a normal size. I thought I was a cow. I am working hard to break that legacy. She has never felt "fat". Is she rail thin? No, but neither is she out of the norms. She is almost 12, 4-10, and weighs about 110lbs and wears a size 14 in girls (not juniors). My other food demon is one that I'm beginning to conquer, which was I really followed my DH's eating patterns. It didn't matter that he was more athletic and had twice the muscle mass I did, if he ate 4 slices of an 8 slice pizza, I ate the other 4. I wanted my fair share. It's only been in the past few years, as he has let his eating get out of control, and he would willingly eat 6 or 8 slices of pizza that I have been more aware of my problem and now give myself permission to only eat 3 or even 2 slices. I also give myself permission to eat a salad instead of brats. I've allowed myself not to have to do or eat what he does. It's been one of the most important things I've done. I still battle food demons. I really need to bake every bit of cookie dough when I open the package, or like yesterday, I'll end up having 4 inches of dough for Breakfast. The Cookies themselves aren't as much of a hazard. Those I can share and have a few and quit. The dough is like an obsession. So those are my dirty little food secrets. I know I'm becoming stronger every day and I can let those bad habits go. Always Hunzi

Thanks everyone! I'm going to hang in there for a while and see if a miracle occurs and I get approved. If not, thanks to everyone here, I should be able to at least write a darned good appeal. Whether that makes a difference or not, who knows. If the answer is still no, I'll drop back to plans B, C, and D: waiting for them to come to their senses, going on my DH's healthplan at work if I find out they cover it, or saving my pennies and flying to Mexico. It may take me a few years of extra determination, but I will get banded! Always Hunzi

Thanks y'all! Every little bit helps. Always Hunzi