Apples2

Oh Phyll...I will think of this each time I THINK I am weak. I'm pretty sure I'm a "bean".....I once told a dr. what I had been going thru with my birth family. It was the toughest time of my life (about 15-20yrs ago). I did not want any of this negativity to affect my boys and wanted to make sure how I was handling it. Laid it all out and doc said that I had great survival instincts. Better than she had ever seen. Here I am, feeling the weakest I ever had in my life and she is saying that. She told me to take those survivor skills that I had and teach them to my sons and they could get through anything. My sons grew up to take on the world (their own little world) and never look back. Oldest saw a lot of action in Iraq...came back without three lifetime friends. I was in awe of how he dealt with all these feelings and did not push it all under the rug. (I'm getting off the subject here). Anyway, Phyll....thanks for your story. It comes at a good time for all of us. Whether we struggle with daily life, band life, food issues, family issues...we can take a look at the lesson this story provides. Janet..."mom" had been in my life for about 30 yrs. It's getting to me not being involved in this thread and missing the casual posting. I am sure I will be in and out all week. I do catch up on the reading but I feel my mind is so muddled that when I try to post I cannot keep my thoughts together. Yesterday got all the thank you's done and sure there will be more in the mail today. This lady was loved. 6 of us worked on it for 12 hours. Got home about 10:30, had time to cuddle up to DH for a bit and visit and bed at 12. Heading out this morning to start the packing of apt. Siblings need to get back to work. Have till Dec. 1 so will be in there most days till then sorting and packing. She had a salt and pepper shaker collection that goes to the "Real" daughter that is fragile and will take time to pack. 955 sets is what I think she we get. She collected angels also and I can't even begin to guess how many. She kept track of everything and who they came from. Anyway...off and running. Just know that I read the post and if I don't reply to each kind word, I am not snubbing, just hair-brained...but I do get your message and thank you. :drool:

You are so right on the way to preceive death, Eva. No regrets when you know your relationship with that person was loving and caring and you left nothing unsaid in your daily life with them. Isn't that what life should be about anyway? Respect for one another, make sure a person feels the love, etc. You would think that your company would have a way of pro-rating (not sure if that is the right term to use in this situation) for the number of years you have been with them and then distributing to the retirement fund for those that have been there the longest. If I were with a co. for 3 yrs and someone beside me had been there 30, I would have no problem with them getting their well-deserved share deposited. We often find with farming that we take a huge bite when things are tough. Gas prices go up...we get a double whammy. We pay more to the truckers to get our product to the elevator and then we pay another increased price to get it to where it is processed for food. We just have our own little pity party for awhile and avoid the coffee shops where farmers congregate to complain about it. (Not saying that you shouldn't Bi_ch about your situation...everyone needs to vent). :thumbup: OK...I really am walking out the door this time. Later:tt1:

Hey Linda....thanks so much (we must have been posting at the same time). It was difficult but I am honestly doing OK. A person just has to work through the grief (important) and work back into life. Again, thanks, Karen:wub:

An Add On....if I happened to miss a post with an acknowledement of sympathy....I am sorry. Much appreciated.

Great...prayer has been said for Grandma and I hope the news today is not something that will disrupt her life. Was difficult the way "mom" died (falling) but her doc visited with the family after she passed and he made the statement that it was a good thing the way she went. She got to die with dignity and we did not have to put her in a home, etc. She was soooooooooooo independent (still walked her 2 miles a day at 89). I come away from her passing with being very thankful for every moment I had with her. She taught me a lot about life and compassion for others. I will miss her terribly but I am going to take the memories and live life. I, too, had a great relationship with my GM. She really tried to pick up where my birth mom could not. I stood on a chair at my GM's at an early age (about 3) and that's where the love to cook and bake began. Cooking and baking is my passion on life. May sound silly but it is what it is. I am so thankful that I can still cook and bake and get joy from it and not miss sitting down and having a big plate of something. I DO eat what I cook, just samples now. Eva......sorry about the job situation...that sucks after all the years. I cannot believe that you cannot take that and roll it over. You might want to check your state laws on that. 1 Day...thanks for acknowleding my loss. So sweet. Cheri...Aww nice to know I was missed. Going to head out. My guys are tiling in the fields today and have a lunch packed for them. Don't have to worry about meals. They will join me over at the family when the day is done. You all have a great day. Even if I don't post, I am reading. Life is good.

Just checking in with a thank you for the kind words, everyone. I've read each post but headed for bed and just want to acknowledge and let you all know I appreciate the luvs sent my way. Long sad day but also celebrated her life. I am still in shock over how this family has included me every step of the way. At funeral this morning it was their wish for me to walk behind casket with her only daughter. Daughter's DH and her two brothers and the rest of the family followed. I will forever be grateful for this gesture. I am still numb that they, as a family, would make the decision to place me where they did. Doing thank yous with family tomorrow. Apt. is rented till the end of the month but will be helping with some packing, etc. so will not be around much to post. Will check my threads in the evenings. I'm spent and heading to bed with a book. (Hoping I don't even get to the second page). You are all so great and I felt the love that was sent my way. For those of you who sent cards, thank you and I will PM you in the next couple of days. Good night and God Bless.

Just checking in. No time to read posts tonight. Exhausted. Up at 4:20 this morning. Baked four pies to take with me to family. Wake at 1pm (hour for family b/4 so we could be alont) until 5. Had second meal at 7pm...first was brunch this morning. (Fed out of state and family). Not at my house..."Mom's" son's house where we have all been congregating. Gotta be to church at 9:30am and funeral at 10:30. Church ladies make a meal for all attending. I have 2 large pork loins in roaster to cook over night for tomorrow night's supper. Picked up 150 buns and just doing sand's, chips and serving all the sweets that have been brought to the house. The attendence at the wake was as I though (or more). Two lines were started and they both wound way out of the door of the funeral home and out on the street. She was loved by all. Noticed a lot we thought would be were not. Am sure we will see them tomorrow. Going to hit the bed. I'm shot. Cannot acknowledge every post right now but, again, thanks for the kind words from everyone. How did I get so lucky to find a group like you guys? Oh yea (as I said b/4) I NEEDED HELP! Good Night, Dear Friends....

Sent her a message to look up your mom. I envision a park bench with the two of them feeding pigeons and squirrels!:Yawn:

Meredith..have the BEST time with your sis. Don't worry about your restriction...always time when you get home to consider whether you need a fill. Happy to hear of the extension on the first time homeowners. I heard that it would happen but just didn't hear it was April. Breath a sigh of relief and hopefully your dream house will be yours soon. Thanks for the words on my "mom". She was a saint.

Great..I almost missed your post. Just happened to page back and read. I would have felt so bad to leave you out. Thanks for the comforting words and for your sympathy. She lived the best life ever...the very best life that she could live and that makes us all happy. She's not really gone...she'll always be us. :wub:Karen

Thanks, Janet....yep. When I said goodbye to her I told her I would love her forever and ever. Got home from being with the family tonight. Opened mail and there was a Halloween card with a special note from her in there thanking me for providing her meals and treats. (She fell backwards going into the post office on their steps and mailing my card). A $10 bill fell out onto the floor when I opened the card. We were always going back and forth about her giving me money. She lived on SS and I knew she should not spend her money on me. I figure that $10 was her way of having the last word. She was stubborn and got her way. Will talk to you all next week. Family tomorrow all day, Sunday wake and Monday morning funeral. Thanks again to all of you for the kind words. I am doing good...not to worry. I am strong and accept what comes my way in life and have faith that she's made friends with half of the ppl in heaven and the other half is waiting in line.:Yawn:

Thanks for the thoughts...I am dealing but just cannot phathom not being with her anymore. My truck automatically turns on her corner when I go to town. :laugh:

Hey Cheri...thanks so much for the nice post. What you said was so sweet and really appreciate all you guys. Take care and will visit with all of you more next week. Karen

Everything is cool, Lyn...you had posted that question long b/4 you knew anything was going on....I just wanted to be sure your question was answered and that you weren't lost out in cyber space. Looks like you are here so it worked for you! Got the "hug"..thanks

Thanks, PJ... How have you been? Have not heard from you on LBT for quite some time.

Not sure if I will have time to respond to all posts this weekend so just want you all to know you mean a lot to me and appreciate you all. Not sure how I fell into such a great group (Oh yeah, now I remember.....I NEEDED HELP!). Heading over to meet with minister at 9am, doing funeral home for final arrangements at 1pm, and then hanging with the family. Wake Sunday and funeral Monday. Am thinking I will have overflow of cousins, etc. at my house this weekend and till after funeral. There is a reason I did so much baking this last week. Knew we didn't need it. Just got that urge and filled the freezer up. It will and has come in handy. Gotta go. Janet, I know you will put what you want to say....just thanking you ahead of time. Know it will be sweet. Laura...have not read your PM yet (will in a couple of minutes) and just want to thank you for what I know will be kind. Thinking of you and what you are going through in your own life with your parents. Take care. Karen

Lyn..thanks for the email and your kind words. Take care and fire those questions at the girls this weekend. Nothing like being prepared for your new LB life and these girls can whip that into shape for you. Good luck, work hard at it and you will see the results in no time. Karen:biggrin:

Thank you so much for the kind words and the blessings. Karen

Phyll...thanks. We are also stunned but thankful she went quickly and but also got to say goodbye and plant that kiss right on her lips. She was so special. I will fill you guys in more when I'm back home more. This funeral is going to be HUGE. Little church but wanted her funeral in her church. There will not even be "standing room only"...we will have ppl lined up into the street. Thank you for acknowleding my hurt. Much appreciated. You are a special lady. Karen:smile2:

Thanks Julie...couldn't sleep...got up at 1am and saw your message. Helped me to get back to sleep. Love you, too. Karen:wub:

Arlene...your prayer arrived at 6am. Thank you. I love my cyber friends!:sad:

You are so right, Eva. She will be with me forever and thank you for the kind words. Karen:tt1:

Thanks Laura...your words mean a lot. Karen:wub:

This is the day that I have dreaded. My "mom" who I've talked about was out and about with friends, lost her balance and fell on some marble steps. She lived for a couple of hours and passed away. I was 65 miles away at the time when I got the call about her accident. She lived 40 minutes after I got there. She just got done with her last chemo treatment on Monday and was sooooooooooo happy to be getting out with friends for coffee. I will be MIA for a few days. Funeral Monday. She was a person that set the example of how we should all live our lives. She was kind to all, ready for a party at any given moment, and gave more of herself than anyone I have ever known. She always had a kiss for you and it was right on the mouth. Her hugs were the best and everyone got one and she never said goodbye without an "I love you". Just wanted to let you guys know what's up. My heart is broken.

:thumbup: Hi...I was the person that you emailed earlier today. Happy you came back to this thread. Try not to be frustrated. I do think that you need to get some info from your clinic as far as fills and not just a "form letter" and no other communication from them. There is no such thing as a silly question as far as any of us are concerned. So...ask away !