LynRey70

Hello everyone.Im so excited to have found this online community,this site seems pretty welcoming and easy to navigate. Well my name is Lynda Reyna, I am a 45 yr. old widowed mother of two teen daughters. Im from central California. Like my title reads I'm born on New Years Day,but this year I will celebrate June 10th @ 2:00pm my Rebirthday in just a few days! I call it my that because I have always felt like I was born to be a fat girl! My whole life I have been know as la gordis,(a cute nick name my dad gave me very early on)litterally means little chubby in Spanish. I have worn every lable you can call a "fat" person over the past 45 yrs. I have experienced short victories over the battle against obesity. One of those victory periods is when I met my awesome husband in 1988 I was fresh out of high school and had obsessivly dieted and excersied down to a slim 9/10 pant size I was always afraid of the scale so to me success was based on the inside lable on the clothes I wore. Once I had become comfortable with him I slowly began to pack on the dreaded pounds. I did not know that I was an emotional eater. Still he loved me and six years later we had our first baby girl. Loved being pregnant and motherhood was what I was born to do. Happiness was closely related to my eating problems. I loved to cook and am pretty darn good at it the more people liked my food the more I made and ate. I had my husbands entire work crew at my home before work just to fuel up on my breakfast burritos. In 1999 my beloved husband died of a massive heart attack at 34yrs old I was 29. I had not realized still how much food had been my friend,in good times and in bad times. Sweets in the good times or really yummy gooey cheesy buttery saucey foods all related to happiness. Savorey,salty,pickled tart foods in the bad times. Building layers from my emotions was what I did best. My highest weight has been 267lbs. but Im only 5'1". Shortly after my husband passed away I had a vision of my self how I would look one day. I didnt know how It was going to happen but I knew it was me I saw and I would be alone for years but then I emerge near or around 45 yrs of age slim happy and with a rockin hot boyfriend! Why 45? Im not sure but I seen a timeline of sorts and how I could decipher the passing of time is my how old my girls would be, they were babies then and its been 16 yrs so my girls are grown my oldest will be 20 this year and my baby will turn 18. So It my time for me to be reborn into the mature sexy confident slender woman I am ment to become. My journey has been a long treacherous road of trials and triumphs, Up and downs, sadness,lonliness depression,addiction adversity and all that including family predisposition and cultural beliefs and customs were reason I was building layers of protection from the harshness of life, dissapointments, and cold hard reality that I did not love myself enough to disipline myself through the years. Durring this past year and a half, I made the decison that It was my time for me and I had to restructure, reinvent, and be reborn into a new me a new exsitence. A healthier, slender more confident woman I was meant to be. Over two yrs ago I renewed my faith in God, Overcame addictions, restructured my life went back to school, (tragic I was one of thousands of students displaced by Corinthians Inc. owners of Heald College where I was two quarters from being done! I also started my medical work clearences for the Gastric Sleeve surgery. It has taken me way longer to get through it because of my school schedule I was putting it off for another six months but since my school closed in April I cant believe my date is almost here. Right now Im on day four of my pre op diet and I have already cheated twice cause of Graduation partied I attended..but today is a new day and I hope to stay on track for the remainder of my preop until the 10th of June!!!