notateechanow

Ok, first, I want to complain...I ate very little food at our Thanksgiving dinner because I wanted to save space for apple pie. Yes, I did have a slice of turkey, but didn't want to fill up on the other stuff. Then, a few hours after eating, I was told everyone was leaving. NO PIE. I know it was there--My Mom made it. I have no idea what happened, and I didn't dare ask, but what a bummer!!! I'm not on Match, I'm using another site, but in addition, I've taken matters into my own hands--talking to friends, socializing in bars, and meeting guys at games. I was at the Celtics game on Friday--wish I could talk with that young girl from out last support meeting now. I can answer the questions about drinking and shots now!! Met a bunch of guys Friday then at the BC-Maryland football game again today. A friend of a friend was surprised to hear I was single and wanted to give my info to a friend. Going out to watch the Patriots' game tomorrow, too. I'm finding that just putting myself out there and leaving my place is a great way to meet guys! I've never had issue meeting them, just keeping them. As far as the conversation goes---it hasn't come up yet. I've been on like 5 or 6 dates, but haven't progressed to the point where anyone might see my scars or worry about my eating. I am finally going for my first fill in like 6 months on Tuesday, so things may change by the next date....and I'm about to start going out on 2nd dates now, too. We'll see. I did mention weight loss to one guy I met because he was saying some disparaging remarks about a fat girl out at the bar and I found it all pretty offensive. That's when I asked how he'd feel if I was over 300 pounds......conversation really changed at that point. He was cool, though. He realized he was being offensive and apologized. I'm headed to bed finally. Busy weekend......lots of going out, but that's a good thing. Hope you guys have had a fantastic Thanksgiving weekend. :thumbup:

Wow, Katiebug....look at the collar bones! AND you still have great cleavage. I'm sadly losing mine, even though I'm only down 80 pounds......

Jewelry is definitely something I never really considered. I was given a diamond tennis bracelet for Christmas last year and had to have it extended to fit and now it fits over my hand to take it off. I have to get it made smaller, but figure I should wait til I'm closer to goal weight. I have a ring that can't be sized because it has flat sides....so sad. I was under the impression that Tiffany would fix it, but they won't. I wear a small pony tail holder in front of it to keep it from falling off! I, too, tend to have my rings slip off, particularly when it's cold out--and it's been quite cold in Boston lately! Happy Thanksgiving everyone. This year, I'm giving thanks for being in control of myself, my eating, and more importantly, my life. Enjoy!

Ha, ha, ha...I don't think I'm in any position to give dating advice. I made the mistake of telling a few key people that I'm single again...and before I knew it, the guys came out of the woodwork. I realize most people would be excited by this---but it bothers me on several levels. First, I wasn't interested in them before I was with my ex. Nothing has changed since then! More importantly, I find myself horribly offended by men who wouldn't give me the time of day last year or before....and now, after LB surgery, I'm suddenly the kind of woman they want? I get really annoyed about that. So...dating is a challenge. I went to dinner last night with a guy. I started getting nervous. Not horribly stuck, but stuck enough that I couldn't eat but 3-4 small 1/4 inch pieces of chicken....so I had to use the bathroom to clear it all out. Pushed my salad all around the plate and spent more time talking than eating. Was difficult! Been out on 3 dates with 3 different guys. Guy from last night wants instant relationship. NOT happening right now for me. Gotta learn to be more assertive....hard to imagine, right?! Not assertive with men, though. Still talking to a few guys and waiting for a friend of a friend to call me. Hasn't happened yet. We'll see....Call me. We'll go out. I don't have issues meeting men or getting dates. I have issues with relationships!!!!

Oh, Tova....I'm so sorry to hear about that! Weren't you without a fill for a long time, too? I haven't had a fill since either April or May. I've had 2 unfills since then, but no fills. I am scheduled for a fill the Tuesday after Thanksgiving. I have very little restriction and have (and can) eat everything I want. I've been balancing with working out more to compensate, but I'm getting a little tired of the whole workout thing....... Somehow this is frustrating when I see others losing so much more weight without the extra effort I need to put into it..... Feel better. I'm surprised they took out so much, but I suppose it wasn't your usual dr......Dr. Robinson is pretty conservative. I'll be curious to hear what he puts back in for you! Keep us posted. Happy Thanksgiving!

I read an article today on Newsweek.com that I thought you might all enjoy. How It Feels to Be Newly Thin | Newsweek My Turn: Health Triumphs | Newsweek.com

Sorry I didn't get to say goodbye to you guys the other night. I ended up chatting with that prospective patient for a while in the lobby right outside the room. Hope you're all having a good weekend. I've made an appointment for the Tuesday after Thanksgiving for a fill. My first since May. I didn't realize it has been so long since I've had a fill. I've also lost a few pounds in the past week....so things are looking up. I've been making more effort to get to the treadmill and have started playing on the elliptical, too. I have had 2 dates now, too! Things are looking up....Happy Thanksgiving!

You're absolutely right. Thanks for the support. Actually, I've found to avoid the loneliness at night and to put me in a better mood, I've been heading down to the gym around 9:00. it's a time that usually finds me wandering the kitchen, looking for things to eat and when I most miss having someone around. I've been pushing myself to go a little faster and farther every time on the treadmill. I'm up to a little over 3.7 miles in 55 minutes. It's slower than I'd like it to be, but I'm a work in progress. I've also been using the elliptical every few days for variety. I think the best part about working out hard, though, is the part I don't remember from before--the exhaustion after I'm done feels very similar to the way you feel after a good cry, minus the red face and puffy eyes. I also sleep far better. So...I'm thinking I'll probably get a fill after Thanksgiving, when I'm better equipped to deal with my eating. I haven't had a fill since April, so I think it's time...

OH, I've been living as if I'm not even banded lately. I don't know if I'm restricted. I do know that when I'm stressed, it's harder to eat. I eat the stuff I like, not the stuff I should and I wasn't really thinking about getting a fill for a few weeks, until life becomes routine and I adjust to my new normal...I do my best to eat Protein and drink Water. Other than that, I have a different scale and don't belong to the same gym as before--so no measurements and no trainer now. Just me....it'll be there for when I'm ready. Until then, I'll be there tomorrow night! Tiny, you were there today AND are going back tomorrow, too? Dedicated woman!

Heidi, It's like anything else in life..you have to learn to live with it and get to know yourself with it. It will get easier, but it won't make the desire (and for some of us--NEED) to eat disappear. Get your next fill. I had 3 before feeling like it made a difference. Good luck! Stay on here...the people on this site and in my support group have kept my head above water when I most felt like drowning would be easier. Stay with it. You'll get there. We all gain a few pounds here and there.... :tongue2:

I bought mine on E-bay last year by a company that actually comes to your house to service it should there ever be any issues. I loved mine, but had to buy a rather heavy duty one because I weighed over 300 pounds when I first got it. I used mine 5-7 days a week for the first few months after surgery, but like everyone else, I used it less as I felt more comfortable working out in public. I needed to add weight resistance to my workouts, too. My suggestion? Look on Craigslist.com to find one that someone else is selling. I just sold mine last month for only $600. because I moved to a complex that has a gym. Buy one that's used. Don't buy one full price if you're not sure you'll use it. Good luck! I loved mine, but I use one in public now.....

It's funny, because I've called always during business hours, but different days, different times. I figure it's a copay, but I've always paid mine. They finally returned my call today, but to show you how little they listen, they called me on my number they have on file, not the number I left on my messages. (I left a message a day for 7 days to be sure they'd finally call me back) Then, I called Jennifer and left her a message to double check. It's only $10, but I don't want to pay twice!! How are you all doing?

Stephanie, Thank you. I knew by moving I would not only be alone, but also moving away from a man who has been my best friend and rock through the most challenging times of my life. I guess I overestimated my strength and am having a bad night. I haven't slept since Saturday for more than a few hours. I'm overtired, stressed out, and just not feeling myself. I'm going to visit my mom this weekend. Somehow, everything seems ok with mom around.:thumbup:

I'm sad to admit I have nothing to report. I have moved out on my own for the first time ever. I have waited for 2.5 years for my BF to commit with a ring and finally acknowledged that it just isn't going to happen. I'm not so sure I like being alone and I've spent most nights eating everything I'm not supposed to even have in the house. I haven't had a fill since May, but I don't know if I even need one. I'm at an unusual place in that I'm not feeling like my upbeat, positive self. I worked out yesterday for the first time since moving, so that was a little victory for me. New situations are tremendously stressful for me. I have given myself until next week to feel what I need to feel, deal however I need, then move on and get back on track. I thought moving now would make the holidays better, but I'm starting to wonder if I've made a mistake......I haven't gained, but I haven't lost since June. I'm still losing inches according to my trainer.... So.....I'm here for support because while I'm good at providing it, I'm not so good at asking for it. I have some food intolerances and I don't eat regularly, so sometimes I can't eat at all (if I've waited too long) but other times I can definitely eat more than I'm supposed to. I am thinking I'll get a fill sometime around the end of November, when I'm back on track and ready to work with my band the way I should.....

Have any of you ever received bills from BWH? I got one almost a month now. I've left like 15 messages on the voicemail but have never received a call back or even reached a live person. I just don't know what the $10 bill is for. It's not about the money so much as it is I'd like them to tell me why I have a bill. Any suggestions? IS there a better way to get in touch with the billing department???

Bad news--I'm almost 11 months out from surgery and yet I continue to do that to myself. I have an issue with not stopping eating. Let's face it--the band hasn't worked on my head. I'm a work in progress, and I expect you are too. Do your best to eat only until you're no longer hungry, not full. (Odd concept for me as a fat person!) It will get easier as long as you listen to your body. Move around and your body will move the food along. Just don't drink. That will either wash it back at you or exacerbate the feeling. Good luck. Feel better.

I'm flattered, though I'm not sure it's "courage" so much as it is desperation. I'm in my upper 30's and still unmarried without children. I don't have a whole lot of fertile years remaining. I'm not sure I want kids, but I also don't want someone to slam that door on me, without ever having a chance. My boyfriend is/was wonderful. He was a huge cheerleader for me when I had surgery and encouraged me to follow my heart. I know he will make some woman very happy. With that said, it won't be me. I know that. He has 2 other huge priorities in his life: 2 kids and 2 very needy parents. He's allowed his parents to be needy and encouraged them to be dependent. I know his mother isn't a fan of me as she's let it be known. (Just for the record, I've had a million moms offer to set me up with their sons, so it's not ME....she's a Russian Jew mother. I don't mean to stereotype, but I will never be the #1 woman in his life.) I need to feel like I'm #1 and that my needs can come first. That will never be with him. I love him. I truly do, but I have to love myself more. I've worked so hard to be where I am in life--professionally, personally, etc. I can't let this go. I want a big wedding. I want to have the chance at a family of my own. So....I don't think it's courage, so much as it is desperation. I've felt like a square peg trying to fit into a circular hole for far too long. I'm looking to find where I truly belong. We all deserve to be happy. You'll get there. You're moving in the right direction!

Thank you! Moving Day wasn't too bad as the furniture delivery was between 6:30 and 8:30 AM, so I had to get up by 5:30 to pack up and leave, while my now ex was still sleeping. He woke up to say goodbye, but I stayed away from the whole emotional thing. Tonight is my first real night alone. I'm watching tv and bored and thinking it's time to get back to working out at night. Thankfully, my apartment complex has an amazing gym. I'll just have to make my way up to it now! Looks like I'm going to be better off than expected. I'm learning to embrace my new reality, my new start. In one more week, all of the furniture will have arrived and it will start to feel like home. If only I can get some sleep now......

I had a saleswoman (who thought she was being helpful) tell me I wouldn't find what I wanted because I was in the wrong department--the misses sizes were downstairs. THIS, she said, is for large people...LOL I haven't lost in a while, but I've had some major life changes going on. It's no excuse, but I haven't gained and I'm maintaining where I am. I know the band will be there when I'm ready to work with it again. Pre-banding, I would have stayed with a man who didn't make me happy. This is my first week in my new apartment, living alone for the first time in my life. I'm finally in control of my life. I love it. :thumbup: Congrats to all of you who seem to be doing so well!

Congrats on the big 2-0, Heidi! As far as the fill goes, I didn't feel true restriction until after 3 fills. It takes a while. Schedule your next fill in 4 weeks from the first. I assure you that you'll be ready. Also, remember that liquids are never intended to make you feel full. Wait until you're back on solids and you might feel a difference. If you're full with only liquids, you're probably too tight. :tongue: Good luck. Keep up the great work!

Are you all planning on going to the support group meeting on the 18th at the Brigham or the 10th at the Faulkner? I don't think I can make it on the 10th as I have to work late. Anyone care to join me at the Brigham?? Hope to see you all there!!

I found shopping to outfit my new place has been the best thing to occupy my time. I also never considered how close my friends live to my new place. I barely finished putting my hanging clothes in the closet when a few of my friends showed up to take me to Breakfast. I guess I'm ready for a fill. I'm here. I'm moved in. I have my 50 inch plasma. I'm ready to get back on the horse and battle this weight...... Thanks for all of your suggestions! I appreciate the support.

So I guess this is when the true panic sets in. I no longer have food to be my constant companion in life--even trying to overeat won't work for me. I'm only a few days from moving (Nov. 1st) and this isn't getting easier. I was hoping after making it through a hurricane in Aruba (everything says it's "outside of the hurricane belt"....) that maybe I'd realize we truly weren't meant to be together. (I took some pics and will post as soon as I can get him to download them onto the computer!) Tonight he told me he actually believes I have someone else. Are YA kidding me?! He decided because of the way I talk about an ex--who happens to be one of my closest friends--and the fact that I'm no longer making sexual advances, I must be getting it elsewhere. HELLO?? He's chosen not to make me a permanent fixture in his life, but allowing me to walk away after almost 3 years, and he wonders why we're not having sex? Wow. I thought I was the blonde in this relationship..... I think I'm actually going to make a few phone calls and see about going to counseling. Clearly I need to find other coping mechanisms as I'm sore from working out too much (since I can't over eat!) and I'm overtired from not sleeping. I'm just rambling because it's nearly 3 AM and I'm so overwhelmed....... I have everything all set--furniture being delivered on Saturday and my stuff is discreetly packed, hoping not to offend him as I get ready to go. I thought staying and being unhappy was bad enough, but I now realize facing my feelings about all of this is far harder than I imagined. I'm tired. I'm stressed, and boy, I sure could go for some pancakes!! How in the world do I re-enter the dating scene???? How do you explain getting stuck to someone you're out with? What kinds of things do you do on dates to avoid mealtime?! I think every date I've ever been on included food......ugh. Hope you're all having a good week. Next week will be a different life for me.......

We missed you, Tova, but you did mention to us at the last meeting that you wouldn't be there. No one else from the last meeting was there, either. Did we scare them off?! I think that one woman may be traveling in Scotland and Dale may have been scheduled to have his surgery..... Looking forward to seeing you in a month! It's always great to have people with experience to join us! :eek:

Amy, It's so nice to add people to the group who have more experience than we do!! I'm so glad you came. Are you headed for a fill soon? I'm waiting until after I move, but I think I'm ready..... Katie, Was great to finally meet you face to face. The support group meetings are the one thing that really helped me with the psychological aspects of weight loss. I know it wasn't easy to make it to the meeting and have someone watch the kids! I hope you're glad you came. See you both next month! :grouphug: