Bob B

OKC: Thanks for the reassuring tone of your note. Two days left until the big day. The pendulum is swinging more slowly today than the last few, but the extremes of the calm vs nerves have both kind of increased in intensity. Of COURSE this is the week that I have to let go one of my employees and another gave his two weeks notice. Of COURSE the stress is unbelievable right now. But I need to keep moving forward. This is gonna happen!

Good for you, kid! My surgery is in two days, and I'm having the same "people around me freaking out" experience. You're right, man...eyes on the prize. We're going to make this happen!

Well, ladies and gents, thank you so much for this kind group of well-wishes. dinner with mom, dad, my wife, and son went really well tonight, but while I'm not the wreck I was earlier today, it's still SUCH a big thing that I'm not sure if I will truly relax until I am actually in recovery. I will keep you updated, but thank you so much for the responses. You know, I was thinking: a few of you who responded said you hadn't had your surgery yet. I know that as soon as I had made up my mind to make it happen that I was looking for a support group online. My guess is that's exactly what you all are doing right now. Well, I wish all of you luck, and I promise to follow up next week with info about the surgery and initial recovery. Wish me luck!

The "Last Supper" thing was mostly me trying to be clever, but there still is definitely a "saying good-bye to the old me and hello to the new me" of this week. My goals? To live longer. You go to the beach in shorts and a T-shirt? Then you are MILES ahead of me. I'm lucky enough to be in relatively good health for my size. But I feel like I'm playing Russian Roulette and had 4 safe runs. I think it's smart for me to take initiative now, BEFORE something terrible happens. I don't have "final weight" goals. I don't have swimsuit goals. I think my goal would be to know that, from here on out, despite all the mistakes I've made up until this point, that I am doing what I can to live longer and healthier for my wife and son. BTW I'm still super nervous. I was actually just crying a bit. It's hard, huh?

My surgery is in 3 days, and I am nervous as hell. I'm riding feelings like waves: one minute I feel like this is the best move I've ever made, and the next I wonder if my personality will diminish without food. I'm getting support from my wife, but she's nervous as hell, too, which does nothing to help! Tonight I'm meeting my mom and dad for my Last Supper. I don't want to go nuts, but this is a milestone, and I want to share it with people I love. But the nerves...the NERVES! I need someone who's not worried for me to give me some words of encouragement for the next week. Maybe that someone is you! You have a minute? I'm asking for a few folks to send me a little bump of good vibes. It would go a long way! Thanks, Bob

Sorry if I wasn't clear... I'm not really worried that the customers will have a problem with it. I am worried about my sense of self-worth and my identity. I'm the "food guy," both personally and professionally. It's what I do for a living AND what I have done socially and as a hobby for about 30 years. I know that there are people out there who do things other than eat food, sell food, talk about food, and research food, but I'm not that person. My biggest fear is "losing myself." I know that this is addict talk. I've heard alcoholics and drug addicts wonder aloud what they would do with their time if they couldn't drink, but I know this is the right decision for my health. So has anyone had issues with identity struggles after surgery?

First post, guys. 10 days from surgery. I've been in the restaurant business all my life. I own two currently, and don't really know any other businesses. At 348lbs, it's time for me to make the leap. I'm excited, but scared. My biggest concern is losing my identity. My whole life, professionally and personally has revolved around food. (FWIW, my problem has never been overeating at work...it's Drive-thru eating (2-3 times a day) that did me in. I'm not worried about being tempted at work (although our food is BOMB), but I AM worried about the implications of the guy who sells you food needing WLS. I realize that this is an ego thing more than anything, but just wanted to know if anyone else was having similar job/identity issues. I've been "The Food Guy" for my adult life, and I just don't have any idea what I'll be after WLS, when multi-course tasting menus, "whiskey nights," and food festivals are no longer part of my life. How did YOUR personality evolve?