pumpkin07

My mom says when you have kids your rib cage expand. I wear a size 8/10P but when I wear something fitted I need a 12/14P because of my boob/rib area which stick out. Of course boobs are supposed to. But my rib cage feels massive. I love it though. Just different. I did carry my youngest son very high in my rib cage area so I thought it was him that did it. When I was young I weighed still 46 lbs less and did not have this huge rib cage. Who cares though, that is what I'm thinking. heehee I like my bones.

Oh wow ThinOneDay...you sound like how I feel......... how old were you then? Is it a mini mid life crisis you think? Okay, I will let your kissing experience speak for me as well and not do that. We have been through hell and back to be together and I really want this relationship to last for me and my kids. I think for me it is the combination of me feeling kinda restless and him overly sensitive to that change and watching me extra close. Which is just irritating when you are trying to get some space for yourself to be watched so carefully. I'm not going anywhere, I need to reassure him. My fantasy is actually just to spend some time in my old apartment by myself from 14 years ago when I met him. I just want to close myself in a whole and write and cry and process and be with friends. Family life can be overwhelming at times, and holidays wow, we're there! I'll take all your advice to heart, thanks. I think my doctor better give me some of that magic lotion and I better keep my lips to myself. haha

I guess I'll make a gyno appt. Last time I went he referred me to WLS.

haha that last post made me laugh at my desk! He made a comment last night that he needs his fat and horny wife back haha. But actually this started after the birth of our youngest son 3.5 years ago. I'm 47 now, so I was 44 then. He doesn't miss the weight, but when I was Tiffy's age I was like her just always ready to go. But that I was at my sexual peak according to things I've read. Now what am I, feels like the bottom of the barrel. I have tried to fake it, and sometimes it works well especially if its quick (that is so mean I know). But there are times, realizing around PMS time, that my breasts don't want to be kissed if you know what I mean. Not painful, just like not in the mood to be touched. What Vitamin is that? lol. If I fake it and he goes for the breasts I'm likely to get show my dissatisfaction on my face. So I try to just tell him. I'll up my Vitamins too, I am never too good with those things. It feels like Vitamin D or Iron or B so I'll work on that part. Once someone doubts you for whatever reason you feel like he is watching every step you take. I hate that. I don't want him to feel insecure, just to leave me be sometimes. I guess it could be menopause too.

Wow. I can hear the anticipation in your post. Bless you heart. You have 235 lbs to lose, so that means your life is going to change so drastically. This is the first thing in my life that has given me any control over food. Over time food just becomes less and less of an issue for me bc I have the restriction. The weight loss at this point is slow but effortless on my part. In the beginning there is a lot of effort but eventually it just becomes part of your new life. you are going to do great. Just continue to follow all the rules as you have been doing. I had a bit of a panic right afterwards, but then it subsided. I drank a LOT of homemade chicken broth from organic chickens bc I couldn't handle the sweet of the endless Protein Shakes and that helped, while also providing meat for my family to eat. So if you have nothing to do today go cook you a chicken and save the broth in cups.

I was thinking it would be fun to get together with sleevers (pre/post). If anyone is interested in planning dinner let me know and I'll set it up for us. Sometimes it is nice to meet up and make that personal friendship. Send me a PM or post here.

Thinking of you and praying for your body to heal quickly.

YA - been there. I had one lady really try to talk me out of it. Such that I didn't feel comfortable discussing it with her further. Now I've lost 72 lbs and she never said a word about it even when we go to lunch . AWKWARD...right? I mean, I've gone from 220 to 148 and from size 20-22 to 8-10. Kinda the elephant in the room. But she keeps to it by never mentioning it. If I say anything about the surgery she is silent. Nothing. She is overweight but wouldnt consider weight loss surgery bc she thinks it is dangerous and probably bc she is very spiritual and believes it would be against her Christian beliefs. She is very evangelical at her non denom church, so I guess that is against their beliefs. So she is still heavy. It is hard for me to see if it is a spiritual thing, because she is so religious surely if anyone could lose it that way it would be her. I believe it starts out spiritual sometimes but winds up being a physical problem that sort of sustains itself in a very self defeating way. So we're still friends, but I just try not to mention it. IN hindsight, I would not have told most people. I came ot realize a) no one wants to know and no one wants to know. Not fat people, skinny people, old people, young people. Most people seem to be against WLS. One time though a girl at office got a boob job. No one was against that I guess, or no one said. She was very very flat like a pancake. SO when she walked in you could not help but keep staring at her chest. It was so funny. She didn't know we knew I think, it was not discussed at all. But I learned that day if I ever get a boob job no one will know except my husband. And it wouldn't be adding anything anyway. Just moving them from the floor to the ceiling.

10 mos. out things are not so great at home. These are the changes I have experienced and wanted to compare with others: 1) sex - he likes it better, gets it rarely and he is not happy about it (I have lower libido) 2)he is a bit jealous and less secure - and I find myself distancing which is probably causing this 3)I am more moody and often bitchy. PMS is worse for me now in my mood/can't control temper very well lately 4)I am more tired at night 5)our relationship is getting harder 6)why is this happening now? You would think things would be better, but for us this is the first time we've ever had distance bt us like this. I seem to be less tolerant and compliant. I find myself just not being nice to my kids or him and later regretting it. He has children from first marriage and the daughter's reaction to me now is bad, really bad. She liked me better fat for sure. I'm just not sure what to do here. I just seem to be becoming a bit reclusive at times, wanting quite a bit of time to self and cannot get it/can't find it. I think it has to do with coping with surgery and just wanting more time for personal and spiritual growth. I'm just more demanding about it now bc it seems a little more important to me than pleasing everyone all the time. He says I wasn't like this before, but just cannot remember what I was like before.

I didn't have anything that specific. But I did have a lot of roving pains after surgery. One day I would sleep on something and it would hurt, then next day it wasn't that but something else that would hurt. But most of it was left of my belly button. It all went away. I hope you just over did it and it will be okay. I think we are all guilty of too much to soon w little ones in tow.

I think i am asking for the total body lift and we'll see what they say. Just start at my knees and work your way up to my head. haha There is a doctor here in Houston that was recommended, Dr. Lomanoco. I'm considering him as he sort of specializes in surgery following WLS. I don't think I'll do arms bc of scarring. They are not horrible. I heard he charges 6500 for arms. I don't know about the rest yet. All this time I wasn't sure about PS. But now that I've lost the weight I'm like wow, I deserve it. Why not go all the way?

I had 92 lbs to lose, and have lost 72 in 10 months. The truth is, I would have never lost the weight if I didn't do the sleeve. It is kind of a built in diet. A lot of people count every gram, but I stuck to Protein first, then veggies, then carbs for a long time. I think lately I've slipped a little off of that and I am losing slowly. I can't see you getting the sleeve and failing to lose - I've seen the opposite here in people with a lot to lose - they lose it quick. Some people that only have like 60 lbs to lose feel like it is slow, but usually hit 50% of their excess weight loss by 4 mos. So that is really great. I was at 50% (46 lbs) at about 3.5 mos. But I've seen people be at 75 lbs in that time frame if they have a lot to lose. It seems like this is a gift to yourself if you have trouble losing weight. It isn't perfect, there are times you will wish you could pig out but the restriction will keep you from getting too off track. The biggest hurdle to me is finding the right doctor. If you tell people where you are they may have recommendations. I am in Houston and recommend Robert Davis or Garth Davis. I prefered staying close to home in case I had complications and it was worth the extra money to me. I have also heard of complication insurance, which if I knew about that before I would have subscribed. This is a very very serious surgery with a risk of leakage. It is so important to get an experienced surgeon, great hospital, and to follow the pre and post diet to a T. Best wishes!

Today I am 10 mos and 1 day out of surgery. I've lost most of my excess, having 20 lbs to go to goal. I am losing slowwwwly at this point, but heh, still getting there. I think it is time. Somewhere at work my husband must be sensing this and he is jumping up and down. He has been encouraging me. He actually wants to pick out the boobs but I really think we have different ideas about the boobs. I want petite, high, round, tight and he I think wants implants. NO MORE BIG BOOBS FOR ME. I want to have a day or two in my life or heh, the rest of my life, where I can not wear a bra and look decent and not like my nipples are dangling around my waist. lol I sent inquiry to local surgeon referred to me by another VSG survivor. I read about the body lift often performed on weight loss surgery clients. WOW. It pretty much covers from my thighs to my breasts. I like that. I will be very scared though I'm sure. But I like the idea of one recovery, one big bill to pay, and looking good on my summer vacation. I have NEVER had cute boobs. They are big, and they hang. I have never worn a cute neglaje' (see, I don't even know how to spell it!). I think THIS surgery though, I will keep a little quieter. I wasn't shy about the VSG but I dunno...kinda regret that. So this one I'll tell just people very close to me. Could I possibly look good naked? I couldn't imagine getting this surgery a year ago, but heh, I'm going on a cruise and my butt is sagging for the first time in my life. My watermelons have melted into some sort of healthy zucchinis, and my tummy still has a cottage cheese roll on the bottom. I AM GAME! I guess I have to pay for it, but what else is new? I had to pay for VSG too. Such a shame I don't fit the profile, ever, for a free ride. WHY IS THAT?.

Well, it does seem he was incredibly rude to you. A nice person would not say this to another person they love. It isn't funny, which is why it was rude. We all make mistakes tho. Only you know him best. My husband, who is far from the most sensitive guy in the room, still has flashbacks of me crying bc I couldn't eat. He pained for me so much. He was so afraid I had made a decision I would regret, but he didn't tell me that at the time. I was a person who really suffered too, bc I just was in a bit of shock (didn't have a lot of preplanning meetings w my doctor). I knew some things, but the reality was so different than what I imagined. It is a hard few days. Harder than I anticipated. The weight loss helps though, because you will begin to see some positive changes. And every day you will get a little better. It might help to really look at the mushies stage and start planning what you will eat then. I didn't understand the mushy stage and could have probably eaten more variety than I did eat. So flash forward out 10 mos and last night I went to our company party and ate a small dinner salad, quite a few great bites of a really terrific ribeye steak w fresh mushrooms at a party with bites of mashed potatoes and a couple of green Beans. I passed on the bread bc I wanted to eat the steak. That was a huge meal for me, and it took a while. My husband sat next to me and ate the exact meal. I didn't have to have special food. The point is, this will take time. It is okay to cry. You have nothing to prove here. It is just hard and I understand. Some people that had the band before VSG and they understand the different phases better, so for those of us that went cold turkey it is a bit harder to adjust.

I pray for you to find internal strength and be confident that everything will soon be okay. Breathe, and take this experience minute by minute. Perhaps find some distraction that is uplifting whether audio tapes or reading uplifting things. It won't happen in a minute, but you will have your good health back very soon. It is hard to endure these times, but there will be lessons learned by all, including the doctors. In these moments, I like to read Joel Osteen because he has a very positive message about expecting good things to come your way. Don't feel defeated, and realize there is value in every experience we have (eventually). Pray for your doctors, and trust them. I am sure you are frightened, any of us would be. We'll be here.

I think part of the problem in making the decision is that either way you go it is a good decision. If you decide not to get the sleeve now, a new surgery might come out in the future that is even better and you will be glad you waited. And the surgeons you are considering will be gaining experience every day. You are doing great, so delaying things could work in your favor because you would be healthier now and going into surgery which is also good. If you decide to get the sleeve now you'll be good too, bc definitely you will reach goal. Living on calorie restriction bc your stomach is smaller is easier that true dieting, right? Bc you get FULL on less food. It is built in willpower for you. I almost had the lap band like 3 years ago but a small detail derailed me. So here I was like 2 years later getting the sleeve, which wasn't available at the time. Sounds like you are on the right road no matter which way you turn.

Please don't do it because someone offered to pay for it. This is a huge life altering surgery. You have to get the surgery because it totally makes sense for you and to you. Gifts with strings are not good gifts, so your aunt needs to understand you may not be twiggie just because you had weight loss surgery. Although lets face it, you would look really great and be healthier at least in the near term. Long range statistics are not available for this new surgery. Rethink it. You'll know what to do.

I have found that we eat out 2-3 times a week . We both work, so as much as we try not to eat out it just happens. Now with no fast food type food, wow, the food bills are high. So I decided to tackle how to eat out for less today. Today I ordered a bunch of gift certs online for gifts only at restaurants who give you back 20% in a bonus gift card. They seem to only offer this special at Christmas time, and last year I did the same thing but didn't get enough and ran out by March and really missed that 20% discount card. I did it in an organized fashion figuring how many times during the next 12 mos we could eat at that restaurant. I did it for Pappas (usually seafood), Outback Steakhouse, and Carrabbas Italian. I couldn't order some restaurants bc they didn't have a special, shame on them (no Red Lobster, TX Land & Cattle, etc). But then sort of by accident I found a website called restaurant.com that had discounted gift certs for so many restaurants. A lot of them were independent ones that we go to anyway, and others were new. But I bought like $300 of gift certs that will give me like $750 of free food at these restaurants. I don't know if this works in every area, but the norm was to pay $10 for a $25 gift cert and agree to spend $35 on food. Or like at a steak rest get a $50 gift cert for like $20 and agree to spend $100, which we could do at a nice steak restaurant if we had the whole family. I actually spent $120 at my favorite Chinese Restaurant and got $300 of food credit. It says you can't use more than once a month, so heh, I bought one for each month. Felt like a safe bet considering we've been eating there since my oldest son was born. I could use suggestions too on how to order at restaurants so that the family food bill is not as much, and wonder if anyone has suggestions. Between the cost of groceries and restaurants I feel like we spend too much of our take home pay on food, and I want to cut it down. I've never been a coupon shopper in grocery stores, but if anyone knows a good and easy way to do this I'd like that too. Please share your ideas.

I still think I have my same food obsession, just can't eat as much of it. I feel like I have done okay shopping, only once half way I splurged on a spring suit (300) that is now too big I'm sure. Regret that! I don't like to overindulge on senseless things like that, but I did look great that one night. At least I sort of made sure it was things that could be altered like a straight skirt, etc. and I do plan to do that. But the blazer that goes with it....I don't know if it can be altered. I hate that feeling of waste. I will say my culinary skills are improving post sleeve.. I seem to be in search of that "perfect bite" and get really pissed if I get a bad meal since I can't eat much anyway. I'm more interested in recipes and novel tastes and things cooked to absolute perfection. Like this morning I made a small Breakfast for my family, and was overjoyed that I finally did not waste food, but I was so happy each and every item tasted perfectly. It has been hard to not cook too much and I still tend to fall into that. My dog has eaten very well this past year b/c I basically need to stop wasting ingredients. We have two children (step kids) that moved out too recently so I think I was used to cooking too much bc they would eat it eventually and now there is no one to eat the extra for the most part as my 12 year old only likes certain things and not others and my little guy does't eat much (he is 3.5 years). My husband rarely eats leftovers. As for shopping, there are so many things to buy once you lose the weight bc NOTHING in a closet or drawer fits, not even your shoes as I went down a size and a half. I am so sad I have wasted so many clothes and shoes b/c I either give them away or they just sit there not being worn. I gave so much away and recently did a garage sales. But it is just waste everywhere!! I did wear 3" thin heels to a special event the other night. I have not done that in years and I was very uncomfortable (my feet seem very bony now with not much pad on the heel). But heh, I made it standing up a couple hours on and off throughout the evening. I cannot believe how uncomfortable heels are, but I couldn't even try before so it was fun to just wear them to look cute which was not an option for me before. But will I wear them again?...that is the thing. I don't like to waste. I tried so hard to find a pair of comfortable heels but I tried on a million shoes and these were the most comfortable I could find. My foot is so damn tiny and small now and the heels just swallow me and I couldn't find narrow size shoes that were cute and comfortable. I'd rather buy a pair of comfortable shoes I wear every day than buy fancy things I hardly wear - especially right now bc I always need clothes for work. Before I would have worn dressy flats so I wouldn't have made that extra purchase which is what I'm talking about. THose one time purchases to look extra cute are killers. Like I bought some expensive jeans in Vegas that are so fancy I've actually never found a place to wear them. Once again, regret. I could spend all my time just buying and returning, buying and returning. One purchase that worked out was some cute straight jeans from banana Republic (8P) and some Ann Taylor jeans (8p) and some tall black boots with a heel which are extremely comfortable. I don't think I've EVER had the nerve to have tall boots b/c a short fat girl in tall boots is well, not real nice. I bought a sweater dress too to wear with them but haven't done so yet. Still might return that. I spend a lot of time questioning my purchases and if it is expensive it is even worse. I don't have endless time to shop so that makes it more challenging. But definitely no matter how many clothes I buy now I need something else because I have nothing old to fall back on in my closet. I feel like I've overdone it and yet I just wear the same things over and over again. So that is what I've struggled with, not an obsession, but I have definitely struggled with waste - buying/cooking too much food/clothes/making senseless purchases. It is like a new door has opened and for some reason it has led to me feeling like I overspend on groceries, restaurants, and sometimes shopping. I can't tell you how many times I have wasted money/food at restaurants bc I overorder. It is all so overwhelming and then in a couple hours just hungry again. I try to save and eat again but sometimes it isn't what I want. I am a bit fickle with everything now. We are going on a cruise this summer and I've been shopping already for that and have really picked up some bargains off season. We are going to DIsney World, then beach/fishing for a few days, then a short cruise. This trip would have been way to much for me before...whereas I'm really looking forward to it. But all this extra activity leads to a lot of extra spending for my whole family, not just me. It is hard to define, but sitting at home was just cheaper. As for alcohol, I've never had an issue bc I can take it or leave it. I had a full glass of champagne at the party and never felt it for some reason, but it didn't make me sick or anything. I think one thing is as you are losing, and as the surgery is new, you get used to a lot of attention from it and when people get used to you thinner and they don't say anything you are like !!!???!!! I do I not look good? But hopefully eventually I won't be looking for that constant feedback. BC people just get used to you thin and don't mention it anymore. My husband is tired of me saying" feel this bone ", etc. One day he even said he wanted his fat girl back b/c I get annoying to him sometimes stressing over how I look, trying to get noticed, etc. It is kinda weird that I would be that way bc I'm not a teenager. Some days I feel so damn cute, but other days feel the same as before. Like when I needed a dress and couldn't get in the small sizes (I had to buy a 12P) and I felt so fat. For some reason my rib cage and breast area is still kinda thick and fitted dresses do not fit extremely well and I was kinda embarrassed that I popped a zipper b/c I tried to wear too small of a dress. It is all just weird. Thanks for listening.

I notice most people with VSG hit their 50% mark between 3 and 4 mos, that is 50% of their excess weight. That is what I did too, I was at 3.5 mos. Then in the next months I lost very slowly. In 10 mos I've lost somewhere around 83% of excess weight. And now it is hard to get off. I have no idea how this compares with plication studies since it is so new, but it doesn't sound like you did the 2 week liquid diet most of us do before surgery. Definitely that accounted for some of my weight loss. Kind of gives you a running start. So half of your excess weight would be like 32 lbs. You are almost half way to that point, and that doesn't sound bad. If I had known about plication I would have considered that. My primary doctor isn't real fond of the fact that I cut out most of my stomach. I hope this surgery will alleviate concerns for many people. Like I have a brother needing surgery but scared of the radicalness of the VSG. I'm scared if he doesn't do something he will never feel good again. So I'm proud of you for choosing something that is kind of a compromise. Especially bc your BMI isn't that high to begin with.

Some behaviors are just unacceptable no matter what the reason is, right? I think he is over the top not being supportive while attempting to look to someone that he is being supportive. I am sorry you are going through all this right now. My suggestion to you is to read or re-read Boundaries and to surround yourself with tv shows/radio shows/books, etc. of men that have good family values just to remind you how good men treat their wives. Don't let your 'normal' gauge change.. Men who value their wives just do not act this way, right? You may not be strong enough today to deal with this, but just do whatever you can to remind yourself you are worthy of better than this type of treatment. Long term tolerating it would be just difficult for me. Of course, he may have a side in this so I shouldn't rush to judgement. But it kind of sounds in the way you write that this isn't the first problem. The lying is incredible in itself. Speaks volumes.

I have trouble with knees only when going upstairs. And it still hurts. I think I tore something, I heard it. And I just avoid stairs. I had foot trouble, plantar faciatis on and off. I totally did not expect to ever have trouble with that again, and in fact I have not had trouble with it in several years. Low and behold down 70 lbs and it starts acting up. My feet are so damn skinny I think my heel pad is all but gone.

Tell someone who loves you!!

WHen I am really full I get hiccups.I was cold after surgery but almost 10 mos out it has normalized.

You should do this surgery at the right time for you. I think you need more support to help w kids. This is major surgery and everyone has a different experience. You need to consider doing this as a step towards caring for yourself. Meaning pamper yourself. Can you invite someone like a relative or friend to help? I went back part time second week and I have a toddler but his nanny was making me Soup and supporting me. She was OUR nanny that week. Can you afford to pay a helper to entertain the kids? Women, we got to ask for help when we need it. You could injure yourself. Love yourself enough to get some assistance. You will need a lot of rest and sleep. I swear we make it too easy for everyone except ourselves. Would you ask your husband to care for kids 2days after getting a major organ zipped out? Nope!!! And you can't drive for a few days either... Maybe be selfish and ask for love and help. You are soooooo worth it.