ginny two

I've really struggled with my band. As my surgeon's nurse says, "It's stomach surgery, not brain surgery." I had lost 48 of the 266 lbs. that I originally weighed and was feeling pretty good. I was shocked at how much easier it was to walk across the sand at the beach, walk up stairs, etc. To make a long story shorter, I'm back up to 261 lbs. due to emotional eating. Today my 15 year old daughter did our grocery shopping, because I am in too much pain. My back, knees, hips and head all ache. It's too much for me to be able to shop for my family. I'm right back where I was. My daughter keeps begging me to get my band tightened again. I feel so guilty. I already know that I can totally eat around it if I want to. I feel like I hit a bottom of sorts today, watching my girl shop and carry in all the groceries, then put them all away. I felt so guilty and helpless. Not that I think my daughter shouldn't have to help out, but I don't want it to be because I'm disabled by my own doing. Maybe we can all help each other. Thanks for sharing and listening!

Congratulations on your marriage AND on your weight loss/health gain!

Thanks, canadiangirl, you have amazing tenacity! I just don't think I have it in me, but I'm definitely going to remember what you said you've gone through. When I feel sorry for myself because of my weight, I'll remember there is a way to lose it!

I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but I've really had a hard time this year with head hunger. I did well for the first few months. Then by March I was so stressed over planning my wedding that I slacked off and just maintained. After the wedding (in May) I was so happy that I didn't care about the weight so didn't bother to follow the rules. Now I have gained back 12 pounds after a 48 pound loss. I've gotten to the point where I have spit up several times in the past few weeks. I'm afraid that my band may have slipped or will slip if I continue down this road. I'm really disgusted with myself for going through this whole process and then not doing what I have to do to make it work. I'm depressed because I just read that 40% of bandsters "fail". Reading that some people are having success and are HAPPY with their bands gives me a little hope. I'm starting the 5 Day Pouch Test today. I hate to say it, but I'm not feeling super confident that I will be able to last the entire 5 days. I guess it's because I have often regained that exuberance over a new start and then lost it after just a few days. Taking it one day at a time is all that can be done at this point. (Right now I feel like crying.) I apologize again for such a downer post. I'm hoping for the same support that you have all given me in the past when I've come back like this. Congratulations to you that have had such success! I'm not jealous, just baffled at how you have done it. Maybe I'm just not like you guys, after all.:wink2:

Sorry for this long post. Heidi, I think that if your marriage wasn't the best to begin with then it may be a good idea to get counseling. I know a lot of people are adverse to it, though. I'm really sorry that this crap is happening to you! I guess I'm really lucky, because I'm "only" engaged, so my guy doesn't have that "she can't walk away so I can be a total a**hole" thing going on, (yet). He is 10 years older than me, so that already had him a wee bit insecure. He said the stuff about, "You're not going to leave me when you get thin are you?" I let him have it with both barrels blazing. How dare he think that I'm only with him because I'm fat and I'm settling for him? Does he really think that I'm that shallow? Why would he marry me if that's how he sees me? I asked him if he is with me because I'm "safe" as a fattie that no one else wants. We don't have the relationship that I thought we had if this is the case. All of these questions really put his stupid insecurity into perspective for him. I told him, if men start making passes at me, I'll just be like, "Forget you! I've got an awesome man, he gets to blank this every night and I'M the lucky one!" That sounds really stupid, but it was something like that. I read an article about a year ago that said there are certain things you can say to your man that will make him happy and secure. Since all of them fit and weren't BS, I've used them once in a while. I kind of stepped it up a little since I started losing weight. I've been married before, so I know that when you're really resenting him it's almost impossible to do this. If anyone's interested, you can pm me and I will send you the article. One of the tougher things, is that he was a little jealous of my ex-husband. (This just started with the weight loss.) He is sure that the ex will want me back. I made the mistake of telling my fiance that he has been nicer to me lately, cause I forgot about the jealousy thing. He kind of thought that since we have a child together that I might be drawn to the idiot I used to be married to. I've started to tell him about the really emotionally and physically abusive things that happened in that relationship. I didn't before, because it just seemed like I might be looking for pity. He was pretty shocked and upset that I had gone through such a thing. But, now he doesn't worry about us getting back together! I hope that this jealousy stuff will get out of the men's (?) systems for all of us. Have any men had this problem with their wives or partners? I'd be curious to know.

Awesome!:wink:

Thank you for your inspirational post. My journey has just begun and it's great to hear from people that have had such success. It's also very good for me to hear that the lapband is not magic. I get my first fill today and I will be thinking of your positive attitude. For everyone that posted before me, thanks for the positive example that you have all set!

I get upset if people don't notice. I haven't really lost that much, but I feel like I look so different already. My ex-husband called the other day and asked, "Is this Skinny Ginny of the recently acquired lapband?" I replied, "The one and only!" I know that he was trying to take a dig at me, but I thought you could be called worse things by your ex-husband. I think he's just threatened that I might lose the weight that he always wished I would lose when we were together. I would be more embarrassed if I didn't tell people and then they found out, than if I just tell them straight out. I also think that maybe it might help them somehow. I know that my daughter's gym teacher had WLS and I talked to him about it. He encouraged me to do it, to not be scared. It helped me a lot. I know there are also the "she took the easy way out" people out there. Screw them, though. I don't care what they think. When I was 17 I lost a lot of weight and was about 5 pounds away from my goal. I went to visit my grandparents that summer. My grandfather took my hands and held them up while he looked me up and down. He praised me to high heaven for having lost "so much weight". Then he said something that I've never been able to get out of my head. (Maybe I should be telling a therapist instead of you guys.) He said, "You almost look normal". That's what I've always hated. Being viewed as abnormal. Then again, my grandfather used to yell at the T.V. a lot and he sent all my inheritance to Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker.

Wow. You're 25 years old with three children? It sounds to me like you are probably a pretty strong person! I chose the lapband for the same reasons that you listed, as far as being reversible, etc. It sounds like your doctor has some good reasons for you to take this step. I can tell you what I did to decide. I went to the lapband seminar, then I signed up with the program at the hospital I chose. I had to do six months of a supervised diet for insurance company purposes. In the meantime, I read a lot of threads on this board. I read other materials about people's experiences with being banded. I thought long and hard about whether I felt that I could really commit to the lifestyle. In fact, I took an extra six months to decide. It was a year from the time that I went to the seminar and got banded. I tried really hard to lose weight on my own and couldn't do it. I thought about all the weight loss failures of my past. I think you've made a good start by asking people on this board if they would recommend it. If you haven't already, go ahead and delve into other threads to see how people are doing. Check out the success stories and the complication stories. I'm like bearbandit. I want to see my daughter grow up. I don't want to be in a wheelchair, either, which is where I was headed. BTW, my fiance and daughter joke that they are losing weight on my "diet". We don't go out to eat so much and I'm buying and cooking much healthier foods. I don't want my daughter to suffer the pain that I have. She is 12 and was depressed about having to wear plus sized clothes and having a belly. Now she's starting to slim down and feel pretty good physically and mentally. Sorry for the long post. Take care, let us know what you decide. :thumbs_up:

I didn't realize that she has dissed WLS. (Because I don't pay any attention to her anymore.) What has she said?? I used to dis it, too, BTW. *Dodging tomatoes.* :bolt:I was ignorant of the facts and threatened by people that were brave enough to take this step. Anyway, what did Oprah say about it?

It was viral, huh? Lovely. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow, but I guess if it's viral they won't be able to help me. I got up at 6 a.m. in this nasty weather to take the trash to the curb. I have to wheel it up a hill to get there. Wow. I am feeling SO sorry for my self today! LOL! P.S. You have one heck of a commute. :thumbup:

I totally relate. After I had my surgery, I was SO scared to take my meds. My nurse kept reassuring me it would be okay. I said, "How can it be okay when I'm supposed to have nothing but liquids for two weeks? Some of these are big pills!" She insisted it would be okay. And it was. I would say, please, please, please, don't stop taking your medicine! Depending on what kind it is, it could be very dangerous to your health. I would suggest taking it a while after you've eaten (if allowed). Try to relax and just take one at a time. I've heard people say they space their medications out. (I don't know if you have more than one pill to take.) I have to believe it's okay. I made a HUGE stink out of this topic (with my doctor) before I got my band. I take a lot of medications and cannot go without them. I wouldn't have gotten the band if it was going to be a problem. The doctor and two pharmacists insisted it would be alright. So you can see that I understand what it's like to be concerned about it and I'm in your corner. Take it easy, it's going to be okay. Let us know how it goes.

Thanks! I'm going to hop into bed in about half an hour. My fiance is dropping my daughter off at her Grandma's house and he's picking up some protein drinks for me. Then it's gonna be ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!

I was supposed to get my first fill today, but I have the flu. They rescheduled it for next Wednesday. :thumbup:

Have you been banded yet? I was so addicted to Diet Coke it was ridiculous. (Just like a lot of people on this thread.) I thought there was no way I could give it up. BUT, being motivated to have my band work was enough to have me leave it behind. I don't really miss it, either. I'm shocked at how easy it is to live without it. Drinking carbonated beverages can expand the pouch created by the band and ruin it's effectiveness. It also can cause the band to slip. (Everyone, please correct me if I'm wrong on these facts.) Besides for that, I hear it hurts like heck to drink them once you are banded!

Thanks for your input and advice, Debbie and Heather. It gives me hope to hear that Heather lost her taste for potatoes, rice and sweets. I hope that happens to me. :confused:

Pat, I have a 4cc band. Have you had a fill, yet? If not, when is your appointment? I'm bummed that my first fill isn't until 1/14 and it seems like everyone else is moving right along. I'm having a rough time with all the temptations. I don't have any restriction. I told myself today that if I manage to not gain by my fill date that I will be pretty darn happy with that. I'm getting married on May 25th, so I'm starting to feel like every single day counts. I swore that I wasn't going to do this to myself! I certainly don't expect to be at my goal by then, but I want to lose as much as possible.

I was just banded a month ago, so I don't know if this will change. Maybe you guys can tell me if you had the same thing happen. I can't stand the taste of most artificial sweeteners now. That means I can't drink Crystal Light or any of the other diet drinks. I love water, but sometimes I just crave something with taste! I've been drinking hot tea with Splenda to help with that. I'm not very good at making iced tea for some reason.:biggrin: As of this Wednesday I'll be able to eat fruit, so maybe that will be my saving grace. I would like to get off of the artificial sweeteners, because I agree with others that it makes you crave sweets. Besides, it's crap for you health.

Maybe..............I've noticed that my abs have been sore for the past few days. I just attributed it to running around a lot, doing Christmas shopping. Whenever I'm standing up, I'm holding in my stomach and it drives me crazy. I would like to stop the habit. My mother taught me to do it when I was 12, so that I wouldn't look so fat. Does anyone/everyone else do that? She made me think that all women do it. I feel like it just adds stress to my body. That's why I thought the soreness was from shopping. All that holding in my tummy was making my poor wounded abs sore. So, maybe it is the cold, Pat!

I won't have my first fill until January 15th. I don't get physically hungry very often, but the head hunger has been making me crazy this weekend. Now that I look back I can see where I ate something stupid that would naturally bring on the sugar cravings. (Honey) I'm telling myself that it will pass. Not every day will be like this. Reading the success stories helps. I've made a renewed commitment to measuring and weighing what I eat instead of eyeballing it. What a surprise I had today when I started measuring. OOPS! Maybe it's no co-inky-dink that I haven't lost any weight in the past two weeks!

YAY!!! Congratulations!

I'm sorry you're having so much pain! Are you taking any pain relievers from your doctor or some Tylenol? I was told by my nurses to just keep up with them, not to be a hero, so I did. I think it was the fifth day that I finally switched to Tylenol, but I was still in some pain. I was lucky that I had a friend here to take care of everything so I could just sleep, drink, walk. ANYWAY, it does get better. Something that helped me a lot was to hold a pillow against my stomach when I had to stand or lie down. Having support kept the incisions from burning so much. It's Friday. Call your doctor's office and ask for reassurance before the weekend starts. I'm sure you're fine, but it may help you feel better to hear it from them. Have you ever tried visualization? It's been proven to allieviate pain. Try sitting in as comfortable a position as possible and revisit your favorite place in your mind. Focus on the sounds, colors, smells, the feelings that you have when you are there. I like to go to a mountain lake and lie in the wildflowers, ahhhhhhh. Okay, now you know I'm a hippie at heart! I'm telling you that it helps if you allow your mind to go there. You can also picture your incisions in your mind, imagine a warm, healing, bright, white, light, enveloping them and healing them beautifully and taking away the pain. Picture this for as long as you can. Picture yourself with this light around you also. If you are a religious person, then you can believe the One you love is healing you. Sorry for the long post. I just really feel for you! Hang in there and keep us posted on how you're doing.:thumbup:

My nurse insists that it's okay for me to take my meds, without crushing any of them. Even the day after surgery. I was SO scared, cause a couple are fairly big. I guess one is the size of an M&M and the other two are big capsules. We went over and over it. I MAY have been getting on her nerves a little bit. I also checked with my pharmacist before the surgery. She said that it may be possible to have some compounded at a special pharmacy. I guess I don't have to go through that, since the nurse really thinks I'll be okay. I'm not totally convinced. How come I can swallow these big pills, but I can't have mashed potatoes??? I saw my shrink the other day and just asked her to prescribe the smallest pill size possible, so that I didn't have to worry about them getting stuck. I'll be popping little pills all day. Hopefully it'll be okay. I can't wait for some idiot to say something about WLS being the "easy" way out. :tongue2:

In the past, my daughter would often swear to me that I looked like I was losing weight. This is when not a single ounce had dropped off my body and I wasn't trying, either. Now that I've lost 28 pounds she doesn't say a word. WTF??? At least my fiance can't say enough.:wub: He's the only one. LOL! I went to pick Katie up the other night at a friend's house and was just WAITING for everyone (4 people) to say something. I mean my clothes are just hanging off me, right? We're all going through it! Finally I stood up, pulled my clothes up close to my body and turned around in circles saying, "Eh? Eh? Eh?" THEN everyone went nuts. Phew. That's what it takes. Then my friend is going on and on about how much it shows in my face! :whatchutalkingabout My double chin has almost disappeared. These are people that KNOW the hell I've gone through, having surgery and starving and stuff. Wouldn't they look before you have to beg for it? Sheesh!

I'm still on liquids. I called my nutritionist this morning and whined at her. It's a good thing she has a charming southern accent and I love her. I was like, "mashed potatoes?....smooshed peas?.....cottage cheese?....." Nope. Nope. Nope. Thank God, she called my nurse and they agreed to let me have some pureed stuff, soups, etc. I had cream of wheat for dinner and it was SO GOOD. I've never had it before, but I savored every little bit. I can have grits. Not oatmeal, too many pieces. I can have yogurt, if I let it melt in my mouth before swallowing it. I think my surgeon is kind of strict. Pretty much anything pureed, but she doesn't want me to go down the smoothie road. She says it's too hard to stop. Right now I would love to go make some more cream of wheat, but........I'm not hungry. I just want to eat. I just want to savor the flavor of something on my tongue. I'm ready to cook up this Lean Cuisine Ravioli, chew it, and then spit it out, just so that I can taste it!!! I need serious help. Time to turn my thoughts to something besides for food. I think I'll start reading this Overeaters Anonymous book I just got in the mail.:cursing: