kathystrick

Why am I fat? Oh geez, I could write a novel. I came into the world in 1970 at 10 lbs. 1 oz., quite a big baby at that time. I was a very active child, playing outside, taking dance classes, etc. Then came our good friendpuberty. Within a year of starting my period, I had to go on the pill for hormone imbalance that caused me to have very long, very heavy periods and stay anemic. The curves began developing. In high school, I was about 220 (would LOVE to be that now) and 5'11". Although I know now I wasn't fat, at the time, in a world of size 5 friends, I felt like an elephant. I stood out in the crowd no matter how hard I tried to hide and there wasn't a guy around who would ask me out. When one finally did pay attention to me, I was a senior, still a virgin, and thinking I would never have a date. He was a pot head, unemployed dropout with an abusive mother who made me feel like I was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen and made me think we would "live happily ever after". We got married when we were both 19 and despite all efforts to avoid it (and a miracle acording to the doctors), I promptly became pregnant. I was very careful about my eating habits during my pregnancy and 5 months after my 20th birthday delivered a 10 lb. 8 oz. baby boy and went home from the hospital weighing 180 lbs. Well, in an effort to keep an already long story short, over the next 2 years, my now ex-husband lied, cheated, stole, went to jail, spent more time unemployed than employed, set me up to take the fall for a crime he and another guy committed, then promptly took off for Virginia, leaving me alone with our 2 y/o son and trying to defend myself against a crime I had no knowledge of. Talk about depression!!! I couldn't figure out what was so wrong with me to make him act that way. I started eating everything I could get my hands on. From the time I got up until I went to bed, I ate. About 5 months later, I met a man 10 years older than me who showed me what a great person I really am. He loved my son, he loved me. We had a great relationship. Then one day he just came home and said he wanted me to move out. No excuses, no reason why, just move out. So again, I began I found myself trying to figure out what I did wrong. I started hanging out in a bar and drinking, staying out late, partying on weekends, and lost back down to about 225 lbs. I felt skinny for the first time in years. I couldn't believe it. But I realized I was going down the wrong road and decided to straighten up my life. And the weight started creeping back on. I watched in misery as pound after pound and more came back. I plateaued at about 280 finally and stayed at that weight for over 3 years until I started having period problems again. I went to the doctor and he started me back on birth control pills. I promptly gained 50 pounds in 3 months. Once that 300 pound mark was broken, I have never been able to get back under it. I have fluctuated 10 - 20 pounds here and there, but never below 300, no matter how much I diet and exercise. My husband says he doesn't care. He likes bigger women I know, but I know I have surpassed even his limit, which is even more depressing to me. So I eat. I try to control it, then start thinking about why I feel like I have to control it, and get even more depressed. In the end, I know it is a decision to lead a happier, healthier life. Both of my parents are diabetic, my mother has high cholesterol, my father had a heart attack at 36. I suffer from anxiety and depression, both of which have gotten better when I have lost weight. I want to live to see the children of my now 6'5" 200 lb. handsome, well-adjusted 17 y/o son, born and grow up. Heck, I just want to be able to haul the groceries up to our 2nd floor apartment without feeling I am going to have a heart attack!!! So, in a nutshell, THAT is why I am fat. Kathy

I am only planning to tell DH, my son, and my parents. I am hoping DH can keep his mouth shut, because I really don't want his family to know. They are very judgemental for the most part and his sister is a huge gossip with ties to DH's ex, who I would just as soon didn't know about my surgery. Maybe I will feel diferent once it is actually done, but while I am still in the planning stages, I want it kept as quiet as possible.

Hi everyone. New here and been lurking around, reading posts and gathering information. Thought it was about time to come out of hiding. :embarassed: I am 37 y/o, 5'10", and about 315. The biggest I have been when I have actually weighed myself was 343, but by clothing size, I know I have been bigger than that. I have always been heavy, but really packed on the pounds about 5 years ago when I had to go on a series of birth control pills for PCOS problems. I gained over 50 pounds in 3 months and it has never come off. That put me over the 300 pound mark and no amount of diet or exercise has been able to get me back below that. :cry I am an emotional eater, something I know I will have to work on if the surgery is going to be a successful tool for me. I am scared by the idea of the surgery, but I don't really understand what it is I am afraid of. I know a couple of people who have had various wls, lost a lot of weight and promptly put it back on. I know a couple who have had major complications from the surgery (one is in the hospital right now) and their overall health has suffered because of it. Maybe I am just afraid of being one of those statistics we all hear about. I am new to the Atlanta area, Alpharetta actually. We relocated here from SC about 3 months ago for my husbands job. I like it so far, but it would be much nicer if I could find a job, another thing I am attributing having difficulty doing because of my weight. Sorry to be so long winded. If there is anything else anyone would like to know, feel free to ask! Looking forward to getting to know all of you... Kathy

Hi everyone. I am new here and haven't even had my first appointment with the doctors yet. I wanted to do some research first to see if this is really what I want to do, and I have to say, you all have given me a lot to think about in this post alone!! I never imagined so much could go wrong. I guess I was in the mind set that the surgery is the fix-all and everything else will just fall into place from there. Thank you all for sharing your complications and how you dealt with those. It really is a lot to think about. But hearing that it is possible to find a successful resolution to the problems is encouraging to those of us still in the thinking stage.