patrice1

Queenie: me too - we have the same date. Very very excited!

Hi! I am having the sleeve, so all I need to take is the multi, vitamin B-12, and calcium. I take Vita-Fusion gummies because I suck at pills, always have. I won't be able to take them while I am on the liquid only phase post-op, but there's another option for me at that time. My NUT approved these, but there may be differences with other people's programs. I love them.

Dear Sharon - It is very painful to be rejected by someone you thought was your best friend. It adds pain upon the pain you already feel about your health and what, as you said, prompted you to take this step for your health. That is unfair of her. A true friend, even if they disagreed, would support your decision anyway. They would support your right to make your own choices. I know you already know this, but it bears repeating. What I see here is that she projected all her anger about the "politics" of being overweight on to you. She made this a "cause" rather than seeing your heart, and the difficulty and struggle it no doubt took for you to make this decision, and one that is right for you! None of this violates some political code of ethics about fat acceptance. Of course we are beautiful and wonderful. But the weight threatens that because it threatens our health. For me, I have written that the larger I get, the less of me there is - of my life, my future, and my ability to enjoy the wonderful life I have been given. She also did not do the research to learn about weight loss surgery and why it is being done. She would have realized that insurance companies would love to paint surgery as only cosmetic and not have to pay for it if in fact it were only cosmetic. Rather, it is a serious surgery that is only undertaken when the weight of an individual is threatening their life and survival. Let's put it bluntly, because that is what it is. I know that this is the reason I am getting the surgery, because my health and life, physically, mentally, and emotionally is impacted. I know you have expressed the same. It takes courage for anyone to choose the surgery and no one does it lightly. I had to work through feeling like a failure because I had to resort to surgery when all other repeated attempts to lose weight failed. (I no longer think that, of course). Some people, who are ignorant of this path and don't take the time to educate themselves, think that it is the "easy way out." I had friends say to me,"If you have to exercise and eat small portions anyway, why don't you do it without the surgery?" Or another friend said, "I am just naturally disciplined," in her response to me, implying I am not and that's why I am resorting to this. However, they all are supporting me whether they agree with it or not. I see that most people see us through their own lens of who they are, and what they think - whether negative or positive. When things work out with this (and they will) no one will remember their critique, they will only see how healthy and happy I am. The results will speak for themselves, I don't have to. I also look at it as a way of "educating" those who don't understand the surgery or the reasons for it. And I won't post much in response to your friend's arguments about eating disorders, except to say that weight loss surgery can be a viable tool in the treatment arsenal (in alignment with other therapeutic options) to help control eating disorders and food addictions, as well. Is it right for everyone? Of course not. Is surgery itself "imposing an eating disorder" as she said? Well, she's entitled to her opinion, but as a binge eater and compulsive overeater, I need the restriction my new stomach will give me if I get off track. I am also in therapy and will remain. Your friend may have her ideas on how to treat her own eating disorder, but to assume that her way is the only way to treat that is arrogant and ignorant. Someday, your friend will see the results. Perhaps she may learn from your experience and become a better person and friend (learn some compassion for one thing, and stop projecting her own negativity on others). Some day, if she is a true friend, she will apologize for what she said. But regardless of what she does or does not do, you will know you made the right decision for you and it will more than pay off. We overweight people get a thick skin (no pun intended, lol) because people say a lot of insensitive things to us. I think we all use that skill we've acquired to toughen up with the amazing courage, hope, and positivity it takes to have the surgery, to bet on our future, to know that we are worth doing this - more than worth it. It is actually a step we take because we value ourselves, and not, as your friend accused, because we are vain, shallow, or think we are worthless being fat. I am sorry for this long response, but I really felt for you on what you are going through. One of the things I have seen through the forums and on You Tube videos is the impact that this decision will have on relationships. People have said they moved away from relationships that no longer served them, or those that did not treat them well. I am already doing that, and you are too. I think that your friend's true colors are coming out, and saved you the trouble of ending it yourself later. We are all changing, but the regard and love that true friends have for each other does not change. For those that do, as your friend painfully showed, I am glad you are choosing yourself instead. Now that is a sign of healthy self-acceptance! All the best to you, and to meeting so many new friends! You deserve friends like that, because that's who you are. Patrice

June 20th is going to be here before I know it ... it really helps just to think of so many of us going through this surgery at the same time. It is scary, but it is far more frightening for me to remain at this weight (and growing). I have been practicing with chewing my food more slowly, sipping Water, trying out various shakes .... a lot of what you all are doing. I did start the Vitamin regimen already. I am also watching You Tube videos. I am excited for me and for all of us.

Yes yes and yes to all you said - me too. I am ready to do all the work for this, and the surgery has given me hope again!

. Thank you! I am most looking forward to finally being able to live with a normal sized body again! Yay!! What are you most looking forward to?

DollFace- you and I have the same surgery date!

I am scheduled for June 20th. It cannot come any too soon! All the best, everyone!

UPDATE: I just found out that you can add people to a secret group you are not friends with on Facebook by using the feature "Invite by email." So if you want to be added to the group without being friends on FB, then just send me your email through BariatricPal or send me your email by emailing me at the address I gave above. I'll send you an invite by email! OR, if you are cool with being my friend on FB, you can just send me your name and I'll send you an invite. Just let me know which. Okay, I'll stop boring y'all with this. Hope to see you in the group! There is just me and SlimminDownThick! We're waiting for you.... LOL

Hi Everybody! I can only create the group by adding each of you. It is a "Secret Group" so only we can see it (once you've been added). No one else can. So privacy is great. I think this will be fun. If you are comfortable with it, just use mail me your Facebook name so I can add you. (Either through BariatricPal or my email: wordgeek1@gmail.com.) My name is Patrice Delanty.

Great!! I'll get right on it ...

RTP - That's great!! Awesome results. It made me happy for you, and excited for me to get going on my own weight loss. Counting the days until June 20 .... I'll go check out Instagram!

Hi All. What great responses. I already feel like I have a "sleever tribe" Let's definitely all stay in touch. I should go to one of those support groups, too. Are you all on Facebook? I could set up a private group for us Colorado Sleevers to stay in touch. Maybe we might all meet our soon to be skinny selves. That would be awesome too. Just let me know about the FB group. We don't have to do that, but just a thought. The NUT leading our 6 week pre-surgery classes at Kaiser mentioned that some people have done that. I have two people in particular from those classes getting the sleeve too, and I think they would be totally up for it. Patrice

Hi! I live in Denver and I am scheduled for surgery on June 20th, with the Sleeve. All the best to you on your surgery day (coming up soon!). I would love to stay in touch and compare notes!

Very true! I agree

This is extremely helpful. I am a sugar eater. I had never considered the VSG, but started reading about it today after reading this post. I get scared that I will fail but I know I have to get that out of my mind. Your results are great and I am reading about others. Did the portion control mechanism of the VSG end up being enough? Tell me more. And I will be open with my doctor about it, too. Is there some malabsorption with the sleeve? Can you have NSAIDs? Thank you for your help!

Iamsoworthit and 7BitesJen: Thank you both - that really helps. I had my first meeting this morning and I am soooo excited. They have a much more expedited program now with Kaiser, and so I could have surgery in as little as two months from now. I have to re-learn how to trust myself, regardless of what I do, I have to put myself in the driver's seat again, instead of feeling so defeated. As you said, Jen - any WLS can be defeated if a person elects to do so. I won't let my fear of my past influence my decision, thanks for that. I'll let you know! Onward and upward! (Or downward, actually, as in weight!) LOL

Hi Dave- Thank you - these articles are very helpful. It is a "pro-and-con" analysis for sure! I appreciate your taking the time to research this and pass info along. Your personal stats on your surgery are undeniably successful. If you were able to do that on RNY that says a lot for this surgery! Patrice

Hi Tater! Thanks for the info on Kaiser surgeons. If I go toward the DS route, it is good to know they are out there. I know that there are Kaiser patients that have achieved approval (and subsequent success) for DS. So much to think about. Good luck on your surgery! I would love to stay in touch. I am excited for you. Every single person here, I feel like I have found my "tribe" I have to get very, very honest with myself about how I think I will fare post-surgery. While I am motivated, it is hard to not fear the lack of long-term success I have had in the past with how I will do in the future. I will know a lot more after speaking with my surgeon and getting more information on how Kaiser feels about all the choices available. It is not just the physical, it is getting my head wrapped around the entire thing. This process truly helps with both. All the best to you - it's exciting, isn't it?

Hi Dave. Thank you for your reply. You are right - RNY has been the standard for a long time. I see benefits with it and with the DS. It really helps to consider all of these things. I will bring it up at my surgeon appointment and discuss. The two main surgeons here for Kaiser do not list DS as their recommended choice. Therefore, I want to be armed with all the information I can in case I decide to fight for DS. Ultimately, I know it is between my surgeon and I, but again - find everyone's information and experiences shared as valuable in the process. It truly helps! To be honest,

Debbie, how fantastic! I am really inspired and impressed. I am a "newbie" - just got approval for the surgery pending the entire Kaiser process, so it may be awhile yet before my surgery, but happy and relieved to be on the road. Stories like yours keep me excited and motivated. All the best to you!

Not all women are like this, of course, but there certainly are enough of them that this image is out there. Men compare too, but they just do it in a different way (pissing contests I believe they are called). I consider that in either case it is insecurity. And there are certain insecurities that involve pettiness. I dislike pettiness immensely, wherever I find it. So my point being is that this may be less that women in particular are the only ones doing this, but that it is a fault of some people - male or female. What i try to do is to be an example of a person that is not that way, and fortunately, I have plenty of people - men and women - in my life that are truly great people. I do dislike the comparison thing and I even at times feel hostile - especially when I get the "up and down look" from some women (not the majority) when they meet me for the first time. I hate that. I know what they are thinking and I get that only from women who are insecure about their own looks. Some men will also be insulting, though, by just treating me like a non-person or lesser than, but that is a different rejection. I have grown a tough skin, but I hate that comparison thing more than anything. At the end of the day, though, it reveals a person's soul and what they value. I will unequivocally say that these people are in the minority and I try not to focus on them (but it's easier said than done sometimes). The best people look beyond at the person inside, without all that. But those people are SECURE. It is the insecure and those who frequently feel powerless inside that do the comparing. If you are too busy enjoying life, and/or have come through difficulties yourself, you've learned to dig much deeper and thereby grow as a person and in strength and self esteem. Certainly you treat other people better and are not superficial nor petty. Just my take! Good subject.

Hi! I just started the process but should have a better idea after my meeting this Thursday. Getting excited!

How are you doing these days? I am 55 and I have recently been approved for surgery. Very excited to get on track myself! Just found this group. You know, "we aren't getting older we're getting better" (remember that old commercial)? Well, we ARE!

Hi kpat! Thank you -- what you said is so true: "if you want it to work and are determined it will work" that's key. I agree with you, getting there is not hard for me, but maintaining. In fact, I can say that "the regain PLUS the extra" (the extra being the operative word here) is what ballooned my weight to where it is today. Regains always come with extra poundage from where I began previously. Weight loss surgery to me is a "tool" not a "cure." The only reason I need surgery now is that my feet swell and bruise if I walk too much. My metabolism has slowed to a crawl. I did a physician-assisted fast last spring, and didn't cheat once. 800 calories a day, and I walked 8-10,000 steps a day, in spite of the pain. The results? 5 pounds in one month. Weight loss surgery will reset my body but will require maintenance and dedication. Anyway, I SO appreciate the support! It makes a lot of difference.