dreamscometrue

Yep, it does matter to me and at this point, her compliment won't mean much, but if I'm being true to myself and to our friendship, then I need to let her know that it hurt my feelings and that I have always been her biggest supporter, and I want that same respect back out of my friendships. And yes, it may sound dumb to you, but when she makes it a point to text me to let me know another friend has lost 10 lbs and how great that person looks, it's very obvious that was intentional. Yes, apparently my friendships hinge on my relative appearance. No, of course not. No offense, but you are a guy and guys don't get into stuff like this with their guy friends… it's a girl thing. This is what girls do… Be glad you're not one.

Thank you for the advice!! Trust me, she has been rail thin her entire life… she wouldn't have a CLUE or even possibly think I've had any type of surgery! No way, no how. I promise. Maybe I'm crazy, but who in the world would be sensitive and get offended if a friend said "Oh my gosh, you look great! I can really tell your hard work is paying off!" NOT ME! I would love it and say thank you with a huge smile and then move on! But, where's the fun in that happening?! Hahaha! You're right, I want to address this, not blow up but let her know how I feel, and then get back to the wedding and it being all about her. Her favorite topic in the world! Snarky, I know. Okay, my rant is over!

I completely understand how a BEST FRIEND would be extremely hurt and offended if you didn't tell them, and in all honesty, my BEST FRIEND lives across the country and does know about the surgery… She has been my emotional rock, as I have been for her, for years. I didn't mention that in the beginning because I put her in an entirely different category than just a "friend", which is what this girl is… just a "friend". We used to be much closer, but not really anymore. In fact, I didn't think I was even going to be asked to be in her wedding and was kind of shocked. This girl would be the type of person to get drunk and tell the world about my surgery because that is what she does. I've watched her do it with several of her other friends and i'm not letting that happen to me. You don't give ammo to a person ready to load the gun at any time! It sounds like you have an AWESOME best friend as well!!!

I hear what you are saying, and I would think that would be the issue, if I didn't know how judgmental and observant she is about everybody else. This is a person who will text me the minute she notices one little change from somebody we went to high school with if she sees a picture posted on Facebook. Like I said, she is one of the most OBSERVANT people in the world… especially when it comes to physical features on people. I just responded to another person, but I have brought it up SEVERAL times about my new diet, working out, running, gym membership, etc… to the point where I probably need to just shut up. I know I don't need her approval, and I'm celebrating my successes with my closest and dearest friends and family, but what has me so bothered is that knowing my personality where I am very straight-forward and blunt, it's making me question if this is somebody who is a genuine friend. Obviously, that sounds harsh because I don't have all day to list all of the competitive things she has done over the past few years with comments about career, salary, houses, cars, etc… I watch and see how she throws her other friends under the bus all the time and how competitive she is with them. It's one thing to be jealous (wish you had something someone else has) but she is a very envious (I don't have it so I don't want them to have it either) person and it comes across as she is very insecure.

Oh, I've said a few comments over the past few months… Every time we see each other, it's over meals or at social events where everybody is drinking EXCEPT me. So, one of the first times, it was just her and I and we went for sushi… well, she ordered wine and 2 sushi rolls, salad, soup and edamame. I typically would have ordered 2-3 rolls when her and I used to go for sushi, and this time I just ordered 6 pieces of sashimi (raw fish) and only ate 3 of them and took the rest with me. She would say "is that all you're eating? You aren't going to order a glass of wine?" and I would respond with, "Nope, no alcohol for me because I don't want to drink my calories anymore and I've cut out most carbs so no rice.. just going straight protein tonight!" Most recently when I saw her about 2 weeks ago, I finally ordered a beer and I said to her "This is the first beer I've drank since your engagement party which was back in October! Been trying to stay away from those carbs!" and her response… "Oh wow, that's a long time." That's it. I gave her every opportunity! I've mentioned how I've been working out every day, getting back into running, going to the gym, eating right, etc… Not a single compliment. Oh, and to the others who have commented, I appreciate the advice! She is definitely not my best friend by any means, she was in high school, but we have definitely drifted apart in terms of closeness. All of my really close friends are extremely supportive of me getting healthier!

Yes!!!! I couldn't agree more... This has been a childhood friend who has been through more with me than most people, including my spouse! That's why this is so hard... If it were a friend of 2 or 3 years, I would probably just eventually cut them off... I am totally using this line of "a little positive reinforcement from you would be wonderful, as you should know more than anyone how much this means to me." Thank you for the advice and compliments! Oh, and I had gastric sleeve so results may vary a bit.

Thank you for the advice! I wish I could give her the benefit of the doubt... I did that at 20lbs and when I saw her again after 40lbs, but when nothing was said after 60lbs and then a week later, she tells me how great her friend looks that has lost 10 POUNDS... She was very aware what she was doing when she brought that up without me even asking. I wish I could walk out of the dressing room with that much confidence and say that but that would be totally out of character for me. I'm confident but I try to let it show on it's own! I don't plan on trying on dresses... I'll let her size 4 sister do all the trying on! I'll keep ya posted!

I absolutely think you are 100% spot on with this situation! I didn't want to give my take on the my reasons why but rather hear outside parties evaluate the situation, which is exactly what you did! She has no clue about the surgery, nor would anyone even suspect it since they have seen me get extremely dedicated to weight loss in the past. (Funny how that works, I'm either all in or all out typically!). I think she liked that being skinny was the only thing she has ever had a one-up on me, and though I'm nowhere close to her size, I laugh in my head thinking how awesome it would be if I could get down to a size 6 or 8 by October when I'm in her wedding. Sweet revenge. Ha! I'm going to take your advice and let her know that I feel like I've always been a supportive friend to her and that I know she is a smart person and one of the most observant people I've ever met and that this has really hurt my feelings and I can't believe she hasn't noticed that I've lost weight! That way she will say "of course I've noticed!" To which I can reply, "Well if that's the case, then you look like a real jerk to not acknowledge it at all after knowing this has been my struggle for the 20 years we've known each other." My concern is that she will get extremely defensive. Oh well, I suppose. Any suggestions when she gets defensive? That's the part that will make me nervous. Normally it wouldn't bother me but she is so passive aggressive that I'll end up wanting to punch her. Hahaha! I appreciate all of this advice from everyone!!! I am going to take bits and pieces from each suggestion to address this with her!

Okay, so I know that there are a billion threads on here about friendships/relationships changing after surgery, but I'm needing advice on this specific situation. **Keep in mind, nobody knows about my surgery except my husband and mom, so to the outside world, it appears that I've cut out all carbs, alcohol, sugar, etc... And I work out every day. If people have asked, I say I substitute Breakfast and sometimes dinner with Protein shakes. So here's the situation- This friend and I have been friends (best friends all through hs) since 3rd grade... About 20 years. She has always been anywhere from a size 2-6 and has been at a 6 for years. My point is, she's always been tall and skinny. For years, we lived several hours apart so we would only see each other maybe 4 times a year. Coincidentally, back in the fall, we both got promotions in the same week (different industries and companies) and ended up in the same state about 30 minutes away. Needless to say, we see each other about once a month. She is getting married in October and I'm a bridesmaid (as was she in my wedding 5 years ago). I had my surgery in December and have lost 65 lbs. I have gone from a size 22 down to a 14. Everybody, and I mean everyone from family to strangers that I have only met a few times have given me such wonderful compliments! Of course, my family, members of my sales team, friends, etc... know this has been a life long struggle of weight loss and gain, and while everything else in life is great (career,marriage,social life), the weight is always my insecurity. So, each time I have seen this friend, I've dropped 20 lbs, 20, and then the most recent 20 totally 60 lbs when I saw her a few weeks ago. Crickets. She has not once given me a compliment or even acknowledged that I have lost weight. She is one of the most OBSERVANT people I have ever met in my life. She notices every detail of an outfit if a complete stranger walks by. Yet, she says nothing to acknowledge my shrinking body. Now, I know I did not do this to seek approval from her, however I'm a very honest and blunt person and it absolutely kills me that I've given her every opportunity to acknowledge this change and NOTHING. Here's the kicker... Last week, we were texting and she was telling me how she had just seen one of her other friends and that friend had lost 10 lbs and looked so great! "Her arms were so tiny! She is so excited! Of course I told her how great she looked!" .... I about lost my mind!!! Well, this Wednesday, I have to go with her and her sister to shop for bridesmaid dresses... Maybe Wednesday isn't the appropriate time to say something, but I need advice, specific advice, on how to address this, what to say, when, etc... Help, people!!! I don't think I can stay quiet any longer!!!

Yay!!! It's finally here! Current weight- 213 Goal weight by Easter- 199.9 *I pray I can hit this lofty goal by Easter, but I'm so close to ONEDERLAND that it's dumb not to try! Goals are meant to be challenging, right?!

I just wanted to give a quick update/document for myself… Today, I updated my ticker and I officially have lost more than now than I need to lose to hit my goal… I've lost 64.6 lbs and only (ha) have 63 more lbs to lose to hit my goal of 150 lbs! Today has been quite an exciting day! I went shopping… in actual stores and not online… and was able to buy a pair of skinny jeans in size 14, a dress in size 14, and a few shirts in size Large… Pretty impressed since I was used to shopping online for dresses and pants in size 20/22 and shirts that were XXL! After I shopped, I went into Earth Fare (like Whole Foods) and as I was walking out with a cantelope, avocado, protein bars and Skinny Pop popcorn, I realized how natural this lifestyle has become for me. Of course I crave bread occasionally, but now I crave sashimi more. Straight up protein. I say it all the time, but this surgery is the best thing I've ever done for myself. Simply amazing. I hope to anyone reading this, that you are experiencing this same happiness!

Thank you and an early congrats for getting your surgery date! There seriously are no words to explain how great this surgery has been! I've always been confident in EVERYTHING in life, except weight. It's all changed and it will for you too!

So… random question: Can you list the foods that make you throw up? I'm only a little over 3 months post-op, however sherbert/ice cream and salad happen to be the two items that I really can't tolerate and tend to throw up. I'm just wondering if you have a long list of foods that causes this or if it's just a few??

Yep, in fact my first post on this thread said to anyone contemplating surgery, DO IT!

Thank you so much! That means so much coming from a person like you who has gone through this journey for much longer than myself! You will get that last 10 lbs off in no time. I'm curious, what do your meals consist of at this stage? Do you still stay away from bread, rice, Pasta, etc..? If you were to order a steak, how many ounces would you say you could eat in one sitting? I will definitely continue to get on here and give updates as long as people are still enjoying reading my journal! Plus, I think it will be such a neat thing on this December 17th (1 year anniversary of surgery and goal date) to go back and read my entire journey. I honestly have not gone back at all to read any of my posts. Also, I wrote myself a letter (not sure if I wrote about that in my journal or not..) and I have not read that, nor do I plan on reading it until December 17th of this year.

I'm in again!!! Love these!!! This will be a big one, as I'm attempting to enter ONEDERLAND!!!

Here is one before and a few "after" pics... Still have a long way to go, but you've got to just keep chipping away a bit every day!

Oh my gosh, thank you all for such amazing support! Hearing the word "inspiration" makes me so happy because for so long, I looked on this website/app researching and reading success stories and was never really sure if I could do it like those people. As for your revision, I'm sure that can be quite scary worrying that you won't lose the weight, keep it off, etc... BUT, you have to think positively! The minute I got my surgery date, I found this newfound hope that I had never had before! I've lost crazy amounts of weight over the years but could never sustain the weight loss, but with the sleeve, it is like HEAVEN! I can now eat anything (I don't obviously, but it doesn't make me sick if I have a bite of something, however, I get full after just a few bites. Perfect example: sushi is my favorite food. After surgery, I felt like I was going to have to give it up for forever! I used to be able to eat 3-4 rolls just by myself... That's like 24-30 pieces!!! Now, I can't eat more than 2 pieces of sushi and I feel the same fullness as I would have before surgery! Best of luck to each of you who has a surgery date, waiting for one, or those post-op like myself! I posted a pic earlier, but will post it on this thread in case anyone is interested!

I have been walking on my treadmill or going to the gym and getting on the elliptical for cardio work. If I'm at home, I'll do my free weighs or if I'm at the gym, I'll do all of the machines! To be honest, I haven't been working out as diligently as I should have due to this horrible winter. Now that it's been nicer out, I've been walking outdoors and am going to get back into running this week!

Hello everyone! I officially hit the 3 month post op mark the other day and wanted to share a photo! On March 17th (3 month anniversary), I weighed and had lost exactly 60 lbs, which I was thrilled with! Clothes are falling off (amazing) and I have gone from a size 22 and am now wearing size 14!!! I think it's been 6 years since I have been able to wear this size and luckily I saved nice jeans and all of my business suits from the Limited that I couldn't handle getting rid of so I now have a good selection of clothes for awhile! I knew they would come in handy one day! It feels like years ago that I had the surgery... Can't believe it's only been 3 months! To anyone out there contemplating whether or not to have the surgery, DO IT!!! I'll post more pics in a month or so!

Just wanted to give an update as today is my 3 month anniversary of my surgery! I weighed myself this morning and I've lost EXACTLY 60 lbs on the dot! I am so thrilled with my results and I wish I would have done this surgery 5 years ago (and I just turned 28)! It's crazy to think it was only 3 months ago because it feels like it's been years since I went through it! I'm getting compliments like crazy and I can't wait to see many more changes in the upcoming months!!

Ahh! Almost forgot to post my final weight! Starting weight of competition: 228 Goal: 215 Final weigh in: 217 2 lbs shy of goal, but I'm still proud!! I love these competitions! Down exactly 60 lbs on my 3 month post op surgery date TODAY!!!

Current weight- 220

I had my first glass of wine at 6 weeks out and was completely fine! I've read a lot of people that talk about one glass making them drunk, but that hasn't been the case for me at all! I'm almost 3 months out now and have probably had 6 glasses of wine total and have not been even close to being drunk after 2 glasses! I haven't drank any hard liquor or beer though, so that might be a different story. I'm not sure if I'm just at a stall or if there is a correlation with me having a glass of wine every now and again, but the scale has not been moving much these past few weeks so I'm going back to ZERO alcohol for the next few months!

Current weight- 224