pashmina

I agree about surgeon research. I have done mine and (I think) found an excellent one. His before/after pics have impressed me more than any others, and his manner is professional as well as comforting. I think it's because he specializes in post-weight loss patients. I can deal with a raised/red/thicker scar on my tummy. Not a fleur-de-lis, but a horizontal scar that is covered over by panties/swimwear is a-ok by me. The problem I am really having is with the boobs. They look fabulous in a bra, but when I take it off, not so much. Sag city. I can't handle thick, raised, red hook scars on my breasts. I'm sure that sounds really vain, but I just can't. I'm seeing a derma in a couple of weeks to work on the scars I already have...laser therapy for lightening, steroid injections for flattening. I am going to wait and see how my scars react to that treatment, as well as my plastics consult to decide on the breasts. It's just....sad. I want the perfect remedy, and I want it all at once.

I know exactly what you're saying, Mindy. It's not that I don't like myself...it's that I am deflated emotionally by the way certain areas look. I console myself at times with the thought of plastic surgery (and even though I know it will be a while before I can get it, I'm going for a consultation next week to get an actual MD's opinion on my specific situatino), but because of the way I've scarred with the band surgery, I'm discouraged. I DO still feel out of place in the normal size stores. I'm used to being ignored there. I'm also adjusting to the comments I hear around me now that people would have been more sensitive too when I was huge (i.e. last week bartender making fat person comment, etc...) It's strange that I'm not seen that way anymore, so people don't tiptoe around their disparaging remarks on others. I remember being unhappy when I was 130. LOL- what I wouldn't give. Don't get me wrong, I'm really, really pleased with the weight of lost and proud of myself, but I'm still averting my eyes from the full-length mirror. I guess I still feel like that person in some ways.

How do you cope with new body image issues post-band? Maybe you don't have them at all. I definitely do! I've gone from a size 18/20 to 12 or 14 so far depending on the brand, but I hate looking at myself in the mirror...moreso than I did when I was fat. It's like the fat was a layer of protection, a defense. I grew to accept the way I looked and was ok with it. Now I see that increasingly sagging marsupial pouch and various other accoutrements that I'll have to deal with for at least another year until my weight plateaus (only 7 months out) and I feel downright ugly. So...how do you deal? Shopping in "normal size" stores feels great...but the happiness as a result is fleeting.

4'11" here and I have to agree with everyone on the 3/4" sleeve shirts. Capris are ok in that they don't have to be hemmed, but there's always a funky tapered look to them because they're supposed to sit up higher on the calf. I have to get EVERYTHING hemmed, even when they come in short/petite. I also love crop jackets (Gap has a new one for spring that fits perfectly) because they don't have to be tailored.

I have the same am/pm problem and can only get down a few bites of anything in the morning. At night it's the exact opposite, and I am at my sweet spot! Very frustrating indeed. I think part of it has to do with the physical causality, but just as much may have to do with psychological (i.e. I have always had more of an appetite in the evening.) It certainly is an interesting query though. If you find a way to counter that night-time hunger, let me know!

Tylenol is your new best friend. Personally, I like the PM version. Stock up and good luck!

Laila Ali is the one on American Gladiator- she also did Dancing with the Stars. She is a boxer and was the Women's Champion. She has always been athletic and trim. Khaliah Ali is the one who had LB done at NYU, consistently struggled with weight, and recently published the book Fighting Weight with Drs. Ren and Fielding. Sorry to correct, it just aggravates me when people confuse the two! : )

Thanks everyone for all the tips, tricks, and supportive messages. I've been taking the chelated zinc for hair, and protein for nails, and I do still have my protein shakes at work, pure tea tree oil and retinol on my scars, read up on every site known to man re: hair loss and deficiencies, and different ways to get better quality calories. I'm more in touch with my body now than I have probably ever been. I believe it will just be a waiting game for things to balance out again. As for bloodwork- my surgeon waits til 6 mos to do the 9 vial shuffle I had pre-op and see where my levels are at. I expect to see the order sheet at my next appointment in about a week. FUN! All of the above was part of a conscious choice so I don't complain [well, anywhere other than LBT : ) ], I'm just frustrated. Hopefully things will improve soon.

I've lost 10 lbs this month and 13 the month before...loss has been fairly steady save for a couple of plateaus here and there. I try to average anywhere between 1000 and 1300 calories daily, but am probably getting no more than 700. I drink at least 6 cups/water daily. I have one whey protein shake daily. I have a lot of food allergies, but based on discussions with my dietician I don't think the problem is quality. I think my body is just continuing to adjust to eating differently and less. I would just like the adjustment to be over.

I love my band- I would do it over again in an instant..in less than an instant, but I'm struggling with a few things and need to reach out to my LBT people. You hear it in the support groups, etc...they put the band around your stomach, but nothing around the brain. Recently I have felt a relapse of head hunger that I thought was gone for good (silly me- this is lifelong addiction we're dealing with). What do you all do to combat phantom hunger pains (i.e. boredom, loneliness, depression- you know...all the emotional crap that makes you eat in the first place)? My credit cards can't tolerate too many more substitute compulsions at banana Republic. I'm six months out now, taking Vitamins, and eating as much as I can without getting sick, but I'm clearly suffering from some side effects of malnutrition. My hair is still coming out too much (not noticeable to others, but to me), nails are brittle and peeling/breaking (I'm using Protein nail polish), electrolytes seem very off-balance (frequently dizzy and bp hovers right around 90/60 daily), my lips are chronically chapped despite increased fluids and every brand of lip balm you can come up with, and just plain fatigued more than I should be. I'm having the same problems with caloric intake that I did two months in. Has anyone else battled this and found resolution?

In the band support groups I go to, they talk a lot about "replacement" addictions; things that will replace our compulsion to stuff our faces because we can't or aren't compelled to anymore. I luckily don't have the smoking/drinking/drugg issue, but I have a real shopping addiction. Things I buy on impulse that sit in my closet with the tags on collecting dust...shoes I've forgotten I own because I have over 150 pairs, that kind of thing. All things to fill the empty hole that sits somewhere deep in there. I'm considering going back to therapy to try and replace the shopping addiction with something more healthy. I wish you all luck in combating your addictions!

Thanks everyone for the suggestions! I'm going to do some internet searching based on the advice and see what I come up with.

What do you love about your band surgeon and their practice? My surgeon has been a Godsend. He was upfront from the start about every aspect of the surgery, and made time for me outside of his regular seminars to sit and answer my questions. He gives his e-mail address to patients and generally I have always had a response from him within an hour. I must have peppered him with at least 50 messages pre and post op. He has a bari-buddy program where he matches you up with a post-op patient in his practice and your age range that is willing to answer any questions that he cannot about personal expereince. He is professional, well-published and experienced, and his bedside manner is something to be replicated by my other doctors. I have heard nothing but rave reviews about his performance from other surgeons and specialists. Most importantly, he never sugar coated anything from risks to expected results. I could not be more happy with him. What do you hate? I hate that I can only get appointments on Fridays, but it is understandable since he is operating every other day of the week. I am not fond of his office admin's organization skills. More than once I have made an appointment only to call and confirm to find they did not put it in the electronic book. What do we do well? Informing. Informing. Informing. What could we do better? Offer to reduce your surgeon's fees for self-payers so people don't have to go to Mexico. (Mine was 100% covered by insurance, I am just speaking on behalf of others) What more could we do to help you succeed? My surgeon has done everything feasible to help me succeed, including telling me to keep message board visits to a minimum to keep from beating myself up over other's higher numbers. How could we improve your customer experience with our practices? Make sure you have a top notch admin staff, and a friendly, approachable surgical coordinator with excellent communication skills. (Mine was great)

Post-op my dietician recommended Flintstones Complete to get my full nutritional supplement. I was only too happy to have childhood nostalgia and my daily necessary intake satisfied by a sugary, addictive little chew-able pill. Now? Not so much. I stopped taking the pills shaped like Bam Bam and Pebbles a month ago because they were just disgusting. But I've run into a road block and my hair is falling out to boot. When I tried switching to a regular (read=horse-pill) multi-Vitamin (Women's One a Day, etc...) I've gotten horribly, painfully sick. I think it's about the length of time it sits in my stomach pouch, like a control release pill. Does anyone have any suggestions on where/how to get either liquid form, or know of another chewable (non-foul) multi-vitamin?? Any advice appreciated!

Hey Ladies! I'm a NY'er too. Live in midtown Manhattan. I'm just over 4 months post-op/at 7.5 cc's and down 47 lbs!!! I'm crazy excited to be 3 lbs away from my half-way point. Dr. Jacob did my surgery at Mt. Sinai and does my fills. He's an amazing surgeon! Lucky enough to have found my sweet spot after only two fills, and hoping to be at goal before the summer. My only complaints are hypertrophic scarring of my incisions (hoping to be remedied by laser scar revision) and some minimal hair loss.

A little more than a month ago (I think?) I lamented here that my surgery scars had healed as hypertrophic (i.e. abnormal, ugly, raised, red, itchy). I despaired at my future of hideous scars and more hideous scars after a future planned TT and B-Lift. There is newfound hope! I saw a dermatologist this week; and after telling me they really weren't that bad, she gave me her brand of Level 3 Retinol and said if that didn't take care of it in a few months she would laser them off. Imagine my relief as I walked out of the office (despite shelling out $60 for 1oz). Well...after just two days use, I SWEAR there is already a difference in redness and the hard, raised edges of my scars. Finally, I can be elated about the 40 lbs loss I've hit this week, and a prospect of smooth, light scars. If you're in the NY area- she is AMAZING and the nicest doc I've ever met. Dr. Day on 71st b/w Park and Lex.

Laura- Best of luck with your next fill. I hope it's much easier for you! Just one quick note- IMO you want both the cream and the shot. The cream numbs you up for the outside sticks and the internal keeps you from feeling all your internal organs are being poked at. If you have a lot of anxiety, be sure to ask your PCP for an Rx of Xanax or Valium. Again, best of luck!

Thanks to all for your helpful, supportive posts. It's definitely brightened my day to see them I'm not alone, and reminded me that what counts is to lose the weight. Though, in truth, I will probably continue to be irritated by the scars until I can come to a more balanced state of body acceptance. TheFox- How much sea salt are you adding to the hot Water before soaking? Laurend- The pics may be a bit fuzzy (difficult to self-pic the belly) but this is my largest scar, the port scar. All of my incisions are hypotrophic, each to a different degree. Hope that's helpful.

I should be happy, ecstatic even. I'm losing weight steadily, have had no complications, and all my incisions have healed without any infection. What's my problem? I found out this week that my slightly raised, slightly reddish scars are considered abnormal- "hypertrophic," which is not as bad as keloid scars, but my dreams of having flat, almost invisible scars a year from now is likely not to be. They can't tell me what it will look like a year from now. I just have to wait, and put the Mederma away because it's not going to have any effect on these things. My doc gave me the name of a plastic surgeon. Someone I won't even consult because I'll have to combine scar revision with any other work I get done after I lose all the weight a year or so from now. It's silly. It's vanity. I'm still 100% glad I got this surgery. But I'm only 29, and though I did not expect to get through this process unscathed I hadn't counted on this... It just makes me sad. Can anyone out there relate? Thanks for letting me vent.

Laura- If you got a few laughs out of my misery, I'm ELATED! : ) I wrote my tale of woe hoping that it would at least a few people might be able to relate and smile. I went back for my second fill today and my doc wouldn't do it. I lost too much weight in the ten days in between, so I'll be going back in a few weeks when the restriction has subsided more. It's hard to tell if I'm more disappointed not to get more of a fill or relieved that I didn't have to get stuck with the huge needle. I'm so sorry about your anxiety issues. I truly can relate! I don't presume to know your medical history, but I did take that Xanax today in preparation and it helped a lot with the knots building in my stomach. Again, best of luck, and feel free to message me if you ever want to commiserate!

Laura- I think we are sisters in torturous fills. I was banded three days after you and had a terrible time with my first fill (feel free to read the long diatribe on the next page) last week. Make sure and request lidocaine next time- topical cream AND internal injections for all the sticks. Next time I'm also going to pop a valium or xanax- you can request that from your MD. Some of us are just have harder to get at ports, body type (i.e. more fat in front of the port) and yes, physician experience plays a part too. I hope your next try goes much better!!

WARNING- This is long, and I can be a bit of a baby...ok, I'm a baby. Enjoy. Perhaps there are those out there whose fills go smooth and perfect with just a little stick and you're out the door five minutes later. In fact, I know you evil people (kidding!) are out there because I see your posts all over telling would-be bandsters "nothing to worry", and "quick and painless." You're probably the same wenches (again, kidding!) who were up mall-walking the day after surgery. This is my fair* way of saying in advance that not everyone has trauma from their fills. Such was not to be for my first fill experience. If, before it is shutdown by government mandate, Gitmo is looking for new and unusual torture practices to try out on the politically criminal, they might consult a bariatric center or two. I requested lidocaine, which my very kind, very humble, very amiable surgeon (I LOVE him and his practice, NOT the procedure) happily complied with. A few stingy pokes and I thought the worst was over. Ohhhh silly, naive little girl. "Now," he tells me, "I'm just going to look for it first," and proceeds to ask me to act as if I am doing a very hard crunch and hold it. Am I the only one in the room who finds it a tad ironic that I'm being asked to do something that if I could do it reasonably well I wouldn't have needed the surgery in the first place? Hahaha...I laugh in the face of ubsurd obstacles. I put my hands behind my head like my old personal trainer taught me and proceed to push upward, straining in my out-of-shapedness. Then the poking, jabbing, and otherwise painfully prodding fingers re-ignite every sensitivity in my port site that had slowly dissipated over the course of seven weeks and I feel as if I've got a hammer being swung at internal bruises. OMG it hurts!!! Then I'm huffing, and puffing, and sweat is pouring off my face. He tells me to relax (meanwhile my "happy place" has turned into the portal to hell's fiery pits and I want nothing more than to get off the table) when he walks over to pick up the real needle, the fill needle. And I kid you not, this thing was a good 3 inches long. It has to be, after all, to get through all the fat in front of the port...but my GOD I wish I hadn't seen it. I'm closing my eyes again, looking for happy place #2 (an x-rated area I can't quite share here) and focusing on keeping my half-assed sit up in place, jutting my tummy out as much as I can...POKE, JAB, STICK. I open my eyes and I have a Pulp Fiction moment...you know...where Uma Thurman wakes up from her overdose to see a plunger sticking out of her chest? Yeah, I had that, but in my stomach. Then there's more burning, more poking, and just when I think he's got it, he's telling me to relax and pulling the needle out, waiting to try again. This went on for a good 30 minutes. Huff, puff, sweat, poke...until finally, one INTENSE sting later the needle was in the port and I was getting filled with saline, 2 cc's worth. (THAT'S IT?) I sit here now with a very throbby, very tender port site...filled to 2cc's, thinking about two weeks from now when I get to do it again. Really? Again? Gee! I repeat my manta...this will all be worth it, this will all be worth it, this will all be worth it. The scale (the big ugly metal kind at the MD office that looks as if it was intended for cattle) was down 3 pounds from last week. Maybe I should listen to myself.

Syrenity- I don't know where your cousin lives, but my surgeon's office is on the UES across from the Met museum. He's FANTASTIC. Highly recommended. Best of luck to your cousin and to you! Baricenter at The Laparoscopic Surgical Center of New York

I'm only at the start of my journey too, but I am definitely planning on some reconstructive work, either lift or reduction along with something to get rid of my marsupial pouch skin that I know no amount of crunches will rid. Only 24 lbs down but I'm still a 38 DDD (losing in the tummy first it seems, so I'm working the hourglass thing). When I was my proper weight I was a 34 full C

I'm a lawyer for an international investment firm based in NYC. For the most part, I love what I do and enjoy going to work every day.