Comfy_Blue

My first bite of food was some rice pudding, not homemade deliciousness, but a container of reduced fat, low sugar, store bought slop. It took me like an hour to eat it because I savored every single bite (one spoonful was like 5 or 6 bites for me). Now I look at the stuff and feel nauceous. I feel the same way about almost all kinds of broth...I used to love mostly broth and very little soup fillings(ie: potatos, meat, veggies). Now I'm the exact opposite.

I'm about five weeks out and yes, my body feels more normal than when i first had surgery. The first three weeks were really hard because whenever i would anything, even just s few sips of a medicine cup of Water, I would get this weird, kind of gassy sensation in my stomach that would rise up into my chest and sit there feeling uncomfortable and lime pressure, then it would last 10 seconds or so before disappearing. This happened even when i wasn't eating. I tried gas x, prilosec and my doctor gave me some medicine that went under my tongue that was supposed to help. Nothing worked. i was so afraid I'd be like that forever and had made a huge mistake. It turned out my stomach was spasming and just needed more time to heal. I can now drink 2 - 3 good sized swallows of water before i have to stop. I don't take meds or feel like sensation anymore. I feel completely normal now except when i eat bread. I have a hard time chewing bread well, so when i eat it i get a burning discomfort in my chest after a few bites. I promise it will get better.

My periods had been pretty irregular (once every other month) due to my weight. Once i got under 230, i had one period in December and I just started my January period. I noticed that the first day was awful. I had really bad cramping, like so bad when I woukd go to sit diwn at work, i had to be careful because a pain like a knife would shoot through my privates. The same thing when i tried to use the bathroom. All day it felt like i had to poo, but when i would try to go, those cramps would keep shooting through me making it impossible to relieve myself. The second day my bleeding seemed heavier than usual because i put on a super absorbancy tampon AND a pad when i left home around 6:30 that morning and by 7:50 a.m. when i went to the bathroom at work, i had bled through the tamponand quite s bit was on my pad. The only brught side to my period post opt is that I don't break out in huge, sore pimples on my face anymore. That used to be how i knew my cycle was coming.. No matter how much acne cream i would use, i'd get 2 or 3 really big, gross, sore pimples tbat would take forever to go away and would leave dark marks that never fully healed.

my doctor never said 1 - 3lbs a week, but it's hard for me to gauge my lost because I weigh each day and my weight always stays the same for several days then suddenly, BAM, I'll have a 2 - 3 lb weight loss. . Last Saturday, I weighed 210 and stayed there until Wed (scale said 207). I stayed at 207 until Friday when I weighed 205lbs. I have been at 205lbs since then. Even though I'm losing at a moderate speed, I have large stretch marks on the side of my waist already. If I was losing faster, they'd probably be thicker, longer and on more parts of my body which would be suck.

my doctor never said 1 - 3lbs a week, but it's hard for me to gauge my lost because I weigh each day and my weight always stays the same for several days then suddenly, BAM, I'll have a 2 - 3 lb weight loss. . Last Saturday, I weighed 210 and stayed there until Wed (scale said 207). I stayed at 207 until Friday when I weighed 205lbs. I have been at 205lbs since then. Even though I'm losing at a moderate speed, I have large stretch marks on the side of my waist already. If I was losing faster, they'd probably be thicker, longer and on more parts of my body which would be suck.

Thank u everyone for your advice and input. I'm going to try taking melatonin for a few weeks.

The last time I was 'thin (150lbs) I was 17. In addition to being much younger than now (I turn 30 in a few months), I wore glasses, had shorter hair, and my hair was streaked mostly blonde. I also had smaller breasts, almost no hips and dressed a lot differently (mainly I wore flared jeans and bohemian shirts. Despite being a 90s chick, I always loved 70s fashion) When I look at those old pics, it doesnt even look like me to me. It's like looking at a stranger. I now have dark brown, almost black hair; wear contacts; have freckles; my hair is much longer and I am of course 13 years older.It's really hard to picture myself and honestly I feel like my body is going to stay fat even when the scale hits below 200 and eventually I'm into the 160s and 150s as weird as that sounds. I just cannot wrap my head around being thin because I've been heavy for so long.

I think we waited about 3 weeks because the incision where they actually removed my stomach was extremely sore and hurt so much when I exerted myself (even just walking around) and would throb. it still feels tender which I press it. Even now, I am afraid to put too much pressure on it, so I'm always on top

I don't always do protein first or drink enough water.

thank you for posting that because even though i haven't lost 60lbs yet, I've lost about half that and when I wear my skinny jeans and tighter shirts versus my old loose work pants and tunics, I feel self conscious like people are looking at my curves (formerly known as lumps). Being fat is like wearing a protective armor or a couple extra layers of clothes. I think losing weight makes you feel like you've gone from walking around in a turtle neck, sweater vest, jacket and coat to just walking around in a bra. BUT, it's something I look forward to adjusting to. I refuse to stay fat so that others feel more comfortable around me. In fact there's a book I loved as a teen called ''Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes'' in which the protaganist makes friends w/Sarah(who is covered in burns from a childhood accident) in elementary school. He's extremely fat and Sarah is ''ugly'' so it works. A lot of stuff happens in the book, but what sticks out to me is the part where they get to HS and the protagonist joins the swim team. He starts losing weight, girls get interested in him, teachers give him extensions on assignments, and other students who ignored him start wanting to be friends. Sarah (half) jokingly tells him now that he's a jock and losing weight, he isn't an outcast anymore, so she guesses their friendship is over. So he starts eating like a machine to stay fat which is really hard b/c the swimming is melting the fat off him. His coaches are baffled and exercise him harder, so he eats harder until he's basically eating around the clock trying to stay fat. Sarah is touched, but demands he stop b/c she knows even thin, he'll always be her bff. THAT'S the kind of friend people should be as we shrink down.

I've been trying not to have too many food funerals because it makes it harder. Instead i've tried to find replacements or healthier ways to make the foods i love. Like i make zucchini lasagna. It's so, so, good. It has everything that real lasagna does except noodles. I used ground turkey meat, canned tomatos, low fat cheese, garlic and thin sliced zucchini in lieu of Pasta and OMG even my carnivore husband and dad were scrsping the bowl and looking for seconds and thirds. It smells so, so good. I get my replacement recipes from pintrest and various blogs. The only thing i've truly had to give up and can't find a replacement for is soda. Tonight we went to my favorite restaurant and got a carry out and I really missed walking to the 7 eleven next door and grabbing a cherry come to chug with my food,

Jan. 24: 207lbs (a few more pounds and I'll be out of the 200s for thr first time in almost 8 years!!!!). Edit: Whoops, didn't post my challenge goal. It's to be 197lbs by Vday

Pre opt, I pooped 2 - 3 times a day (and loved it!). Post opt, I poop once ever 2 - 3 days. In the beginning it was hard because my belly would hurt and I'd feel like I needed to poo, but nothing would come out. Now it doesn't really bother me so much. Usually, the night before I feel a little gassy. Then the next morning I can go. Nutritionist said it's completely normal b/c I used to eat a lot more and now what was one meal is now 2 or 3 meals for me (ie: i never can finish my lunch at work, so i always end up eating part of it for dinner)

As my weight is going down, I seem to be having more and more trouble staying asleep. No matter how late I go to bed or how tired I am, I can't stay asleep. Last night I was exhausted (and I'm catching a cold) so I went to bed around 9:30. At 2 a.m. I suddenly woke up and had trouble going back to sleep. The same thing happened at 5 a.m. I took a sleeping pill on Tuesday because I was determined to sleep in, but the same thing. I woke up a few times during the night before getting out of bed at 6 a.m. It's very dark in our bedroom (we have blinds, plus room darkening shades) and no children or random loud noises. When I wake up, I don't have to pee, or feel thirsty, or in an uncomfortable positions, or even feeling stressed/worried. I also haven't been elbowed my husband or had a nightmare. It's annoying because I've had this problem from about the age of 8 - 25. Then, at 25 I started packing on major pounds and once I hit about 230lbs, I started being able to fall asleep quickly and stay asleep comfortably through the night. To make things even more bizarre, I had a sleep study two weeks before my operation, and the doc said I had mild obstructive sleep apnea which gave me 19 "mini wakings" an hour (even though I don't remember them and thought I was sleeping straight through the night). Anyhow I feel like I'm rambling. has anyone else experienced this? any insights, suggestions or solutions?

OMG when I was on the liquid diet the week before surgery my mom emailed me that there was a great book i needed to read called "Fish and Grits". Even though it had nothing to do with food (it's about a poor family in NYC in the early 80s) i avoided it for a couple days because the title made me hungry! I don't even like fish and grits together, but just seeing the title and the fish on the cover made my mouth Water. I remember a scene where the protagonist went to the market and mentioned walking past chips and my stomach was like "gurgle gurgle". In another scene there was a fight in front of the grocery store and someone threw a glass jar of jelly which broke and i was like "mmm..." I actually cried all the way home on Day Three because on my way out a clothing store, i passed a chinese food restaurant and a liquor store with tons of Snacks in the window and my stomach was like "PLEASE FEED ME! NO MORE OF THOSE Protein SHAKES!" Needless to say I'm glad it's over. PS: i started obsessively pinning food recipes, reading about paleo and other sleeve friendly diets and planning and replanning my first meal.

My husband has been super supportive this entire journey(including lifting me up so i could use the bed pan rightnafter surgery) but he let it slip yesterday that he "missed how we used to eat out and eat so much at Chevy's". I was like "honey we can still eat there" and he was like "yeah but sll you can have is like half a flauta and maybe a couple bites of quesadillas." He apologized later andnsaid he was proud of me and he didn't mesn to make me feel bad, but I still think a little part of him misses when I was pre-opt because we were eating buddies. We'd do Chipotle, then share a carton of chunky monkey. When i start to miss those days, i remind myself how much I've gained(like lower blood pressure, control over myself, more money, better mobility, etc)

In the hospital i felt awful. My husband had to help me to the bathroom, my stomach hurt, i was stiff and i literally did nothing but wake up to pee, then sleep for the first day post opt. When i got home for the first two days, i did nothing but sleep and eat a teeny bit here and there. My stomach and throat were sore. I'd say by the 4th day post opt, i felt so much better. I never even used pain pills, except for when i was in the hospital on a morphine drip. I promise you are going to start recovering and feeling better very soon.

I don't have one big story, rather lots of little food addict stories. 1. In high school (and college) I was obsessed with Dunkin Donuts. I used to play hooky from school to drive 15 minutes away to Dunkin Donuts where I'd get half a dozen strawberry frosted donuts and milk. i'd eat at least 3 in the car and put the rest in my book bag for later and sneak back into school. I did this at least twice a week. 2. In college, i drove to DD and ordered a half dozen. The girl at the counter was like "we have a special. It's only $2 to upgrade to a full dozen". It was too great a deal to pass up! So i bought a dozen donuts back to my dorm room. I ate six on the way back to school and started to feel sick. I was embarrassed to have gotten so many, so i lied to my roommates and said i had "won" them because I was a frequent customer. No one believed me of course. 3. Another time, a friend and I ordered a pizza, 10 double cheeseburgers and a bucket of chicken w/mashed potatoes and a dozen dunkin donuts, rented a couple movies and gorged all night. I would eat until i felt like i had to barf, then wait it out and eat some more. 4. As an adult they had a deal at Chipotle where it was buy one burrito bowl, get one free. I bought 2 with the intent on eating the second bowl the next day. I ended up eating both bowls in one sitting because it was just so delicious and there. 5. One of the worse times was as a teenager i bought some napoleon ice cream (i hate the chocolate but like vanilla and strawberry). All day at school i kept thinking about that ice cream. I came up and found someone had eaten ALL the vanilla and strawberry and left the chocolate. I was so angry that i slammed the freezer door over and over so hard the door broke

WAY TO GO! That's so awesome! Under 200lbs?! It's got to feel good to be able to go to the store and just choose what you want to wear without fearing it'll be too tight/not true to size. I cannot wait until I am able to wear a loose 14 or even a 12. Right now i'm in a loosening 16. Be proud of yourself and i hope you'll Celebrate with a treat like a mani-pedi, seeing a movie, buying a new pair of pants, etc.

I found the closer i got to my surgery date the more obsessed i became. I especially got into watching youtube videos about the sleeve and looking at before and photos and reading blogs. I even started my own blog. Have you ever had surgery before? If not, that might be adding the fuel to your fire. Prior to my procedure I'd never been in the hospital, so I was scared because I had no point if reference. I had no idea i'd need a bed pan, or have to wear disposible underpants, or if i could wear my glasses into the operating room.

Please let me know, Id love some feedback.Thanks in advance! 1. Am I too big for general anesthesia? Not at all. I'm not a doctor, but I have had family members much larger than you that have had surgeries for much more serious operations (ie: open heart surgery, knee replacement, kidney transplant, etc) and they survived. Plus, the whole point of all the pre-screening stuff is to determine any risk factors. Also, the whole time you're under there is an entire team monitoring your vitals. If anything even looks fishy, they would wake you up. 2. Will I stop breathing during surgery being that I have sleep apnea? Highly unlikely. I have mild obstructive sleep apnea and my best friend (she has the lapband) has severe obstuctive sleep apnea and neither of us woke up. Remember, the anesthesiologist knows what they're doing. I've been put under twice -- the first time for my endoscopy (that time I remember dreaming I was home eating with my husband, then suddenly I woke up and it was over). The second time was during my procedure. All I remember was the nurse asking me if I was cold and not to be afraid. The next thing I knew, I was in recovery. 3. Will I regret my decision? I doubt it. I've been struggling with my weight since I was 12. I'm turning 30 this year. I've done Weight Watchers, Medifast, Phentermine, Atkins, Sugarbusters, Lemonade Diet, starved myself, avoided Pasta and bread, worked out 3 hours a day 7 days a week, Dexatrim to name a few, Slim Fast to name a few and I've never been able to keep off the weight more than 1 - 6 months. I also felt hungry/depressed/scared to eat the entire time for fear of gaining back. And often times, I would end up gaining back more than I started out with. I came to the conclusion that if I could "do it on my own" then I would've figured it out by now. 4. Has anyone had these issues? I've been concerned about EVERYTHING you wrote and more including "what if I die on the operating table?" "What if I'm the one person the surgery doesn't work for, so I did all this for nothing?" "What if I start losing weight and my husband resents me and we end up getting divorced?" "What if my friends resent me for no longer being 'the fat one' and they abandon me?" HOWEVER the deciding factor for me was what would happen if I did nothing and continued yo-yo dieting and binge eating. All the things I mentioned above "could" happen. But if I stayed the same, then I knew that my blood pressure would continue to go up until I was on meds like Dad and Grandma, I'd develop diabetes, need a knee replacement eventually, lose mobility, shorten my life span, continue to have irregular periods which would mess with my fertility, not be able to be a "fun" parent like my Mom and Dad because I can't move around well, end up on a C-Pap machine, etc. To me the "coulds" were far less scary than the "woulds". (for the record all the "coulds" that I was afraid of never happened. My husband is proud of me and my weight loss and lifestyle changes are motivating him to do the same. My friends and family still love me. I didn't die on the operating table obviously, nor did I wake up. The surgery IS working. I was 241lbs when I attended my first open house at my surgeon's office and 226lbs on my day of surgery. I'm currently 211lbs (need to update my ticker) which means I've lost 30lbs altogether).

I agree with Best about the walking. It's a pain, but it does help. Plus, it helps prevent blood clots and I found I felt better then just laying in the bed. One thing that was annoying was whenever I'd tell the nurse that I was having (what I later learned was stomach spasms) pain in my chest, she would give me more morphine. I didn't like it because it made me feel sleepy and groggy whenever I was awake.

I had mild obstructive sleep Apnea prior to WLS. According to my sleep study, I was waking up 19 times an hour. I also used to wake up around 3 or 4 am every morning with my bladder so full it hurt. (I learned that this was caused from the apnea. Basically when I started having breathing trouble, it put stress on my heart, which sent a distress signal to my brain, which would then release a chemical that stimulated my bladder to produce more urine). That was really annoying and scary because I would cut off drinking 2 hours before bed and urinate several times before I turned in for the night. I was afraid that I was developing incontinence. I also felt groggy most mornings, had frequent daytime headaches and by 2 o'clock every day I felt exhausted and needed to nap. Post-opt, I've lost almost 30 lbs. I don't wake up in middle of the night anymore and my bladder doesn't feel like it's going to burst anymore. I'm feeling clearer headed during the day and I rarely nap anymore. A few nights ago, my husband said he had to check on me to make sure I was still breathing because I was breathing so quietly. I asked him what I used to sound like and he said my snoring was loud and most nights I sounded congested like I had a cold.

I'm still rather new to the game (it'll be 1 month in 3 days) and while I've had no regrets, there are a few things I miss about my pre-opt body and struggle with. Disclaimer: Please do not let my experience sway anyone from this procedure. Whatever lifestyle you choose, even if it's eating whatever, whenever and as much as you want (which was me pre-opt) it's going to have downfalls and challenges. I think of myself as like a recovering addict -- happy to be clean (which for me is losing weight and eating healthier and making better life style choices), but sometimes I miss the "high" that came from my pre-opt lifestyle. 1. Being able to drink and eat at the same time. Waiting 30 minutes before and 30 minutes after to drink is really difficult for me. I've cheated a couple times, like a few minutes ago. I had a low sugar, high Protein bar that was REALLY REALLY sweet to the point I could only eat half. I wanted some Water or milk to neutralize the sickly sweetness, but alas that 30 minute rule. I waited about 10 minutes, then I took a sip of milk because it felt like my throat was sticking together. 2. Not being able to comfort myself with food anymore. In my community, "food is love". So when my granddad died, everyone was bringing all sorts of yummy food to grandma's house, from traditional dishes, to other favorites like KFC chicken, Cookies, cake, sodas, juice, etc. Everyone was sitting around with plates of comfort. I tried to have a little bit of everything and it was VERY uncomfortable. For me, when I eat too much and/or too fast, the food feels stuck in my chest and like it's right at the back of my throat. It burns and I get a sensation like I need to vomit, but nothing comes up. This feeling lasts 30 - 45 minutes. So when I felt overwhelmingly sad bout Granddad, I had to ride the wave of pain, instead of shoving some chicken in my mouth and having it go away instantly. 3. Throwing away food (My grandparents lived through the Depression and my parents were Baby Boomers. So I was brought up not to waste food. With my tiny banana tummy, I am not able to eat nearly as much as I used to, but I still cook the same quantity of food. It is really hard for me to throw away half a pot of chili, or 6 chicken thighs, etc because of how I was raised, plus I think about people who don't have food in the world. To combat this, I purchased freezer bags, so whenever I cook, I freeze half and leave the other half for husband and I to eat during the week. I also have started taking food to my parents house which they appreciate because it's healthy, home cooked, free and means Mom doesn't have to bother with prepping food for her and Dad) 4. Holiday Parties/Family Gatherings (I got sleeved on the 23rd which means I was on Clear liquids during three holiday parties and the early Christmas celebration my family held. That was REALLY hard because holidays are normally a time we gorge ourselves, then everyone lays around in a food induced haze laughing and talking.) 5. Not being able to guzzle water anymore. I struggle to get in 64 oz of water because I no longer drink when I eat and I'm unable to drink as much in one sitting. When I was pre-opt, I used to down 20 - 30oz of water in one sitting. By lunch, I'd normally have gotten my daily intake. Now, I feel like I am sipping all day, and I'm still not meeting the 64oz mark.

I agree with the other posters. I know you love your husband and he probably doesn't act like this all the time and when he's being "good" to you, those times are great, but the times he is being bad to you (like at dinner) are awful. He sounds verbally and emotionally abusive. I don't know your entire situation or you personally, but i have been through this before with my now ex fiancé. When i became a teacher, I was so proud of myself and when my first check came in the mail, i jokingly said to him "I'm rich!" (Now keep in mind this was a HUGE accomplishment for me because i had had a very hard time finding a job and was unemployed for almost a year and had to depend on "hand outs" from him, which I realize now he enjoyed because it made me beneath him in his mind and gave him control over me) He immediately laid into me saying i was "only" a teacher and at the bottom if the pay scale compared to other professions and i wouldn't feel so rich in ten years or so when he and everyone else not in my profession were making double or even triple my salary. Then he started dissecting my check and said "by the time you pay a, b, c, d and e, you're not going to have ANY thing left" and laughed nastily. Like you, i was hurt and tried not to cry. When I came back later to speak to him about it, he got defensive and said i "just wanted something to be upset about" and he wasn't going to apologize for "telling me like it is". Hence why he is my ex. I would highly recommend you guys seek counseling to see if you can salvage your relationship.