JillC878

4 days left until a new chapter in my life beings. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed; there seems to be more to do now then Monday. I am working so hard to finish everything and show other how I do my job and make sure the house is in order. There is always something popping up....an "Oh! I need to do this or that or blah blah blah," I am thinking that it is not going to end though. It is more me not being able to let go then there are things to do. The whole time I have been planning this, I have not said seriously "this is my last so-and-so." or "This is the last time I will have this food or that.". I know that one day I will be able to eat many things I do now, but in much more moderation. There is no "last time" for anything. This has not been an issue to me until today. All I can think about is that I will not have x or y for a very very long time...or ever. All of a sudden I am panicked about it; stressed over never having a Mocha with an extra shot from the coffee place down the street. I find I am freaking out about the whole thing actually. Tomorrow UVA will call with the time of my surgery. Am I really doing this? Is this really happening? I need to make my menu for next week like I do every Thursday night and I am really anxious about it. Tomorrow I write my grocery list, how will that go? Oh, no food for Jill. All these things are going through my head. Have not slept well this week; too many things rolling around in my brain. Anesthesia will stop all of that! I know I am ready and want this. I am assuming that these are all things that every person deals with in this situation. I am normal, right?

As with many, many people, my struggle with weight started long before I new anything about counting calories and carbs. I was overweight by 3rd grade and "fat" (according to the kids in school) by 5th grade. I was heavy all through school. Sure, I have lost weight here and there, but have always been far from the elusive "ideal" weight. My sister had a Gastric Bypass many years ago (maybe 15) and she was very sick and is now just as big (if not bigger) then prior to surgery. I always told myself and others "I would NEVER have surgery." Well, as they say, never say never! Now here I am 8 days from going under the knife. What changed? Several things. There have been new developments - new surgeries and techniques - that were not in practice 15 years ago. I have or am dealing with many issues medically. I have support in my life that is greater then any I have ever known. I could probably go on, but the best answer is that time changed my mind for me. For the last several years I have struggled medically. I am lucky that I do not have many of the typical problems associated with obesity - high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes. I was, however, diagnosed 3 or 4 years ago with Lupus and Fibromyalgia. The pain can be debilitating on some days. I am on many medications for all of this and all of them have the side effect of weight gain. I have talked with my PCP as well as my Rheumatologist on several occasions about loosing weight; by loosing weight I will take pressure off of my joints and muscles possibly buying me some much needed relief. This has been an uphill (or stagnant) battle. No matter what I tried there was little to no weight loss. My final attempt was suggested over a year ago and I did not want to do it due to the financial aspect of it. I began taking a prescription drug, Qsymia, that cost me (WITH INSURANCE COVERAGE) $200+ a month! I was on the drug for 6 months, costing me over $1200 dollars, and lost 17 lbs! I worked so hard; I exercised through the pain, I ate 1500 to 1200 (more often less) everyday and I lost a pathetic 17 lbs. ! What the hell?!?! During this time my PCP told me at several visits that he thought Lap Band was the way to go for me. I am still admit that surgery was not an accepible option. At the end of the six months on Qsymia, I was heartbroken, defeated, and beaten. I called my PCP with tears in my eyes and asked for a referral for Lap Band and wanted to meet with him to talk it over some more with me and my husband. I went to the visit and I had been off the Qsymia for a couple weeks and had gained about half of the 17 lbs. back. He told me that he did not think that UVA would let me do that Lap Band because I am too obese. I burst into tears because I was still not sure about Lap Band, much less getting anything where they cut your organs and stitch you back up (for some reason a foreign object in my body seemed safer). My PCP gave me the referral for Lap Band anyway (probably because he was tired of my crying in his office). On November 7, 2013, my husband and I went to UVA for the class/consultation and the first words our of the nurse's mouth were "I am going to convince you NOT to get a Lap Band." My husband and I just looked at each other with surprise and confusion all over our faces. I whispered to him "No. I am not going to have any other type of surgery!" Well, as you already know, I did not hold to true to that statement. She described in detail all three surgeries that they can do; band, sleeve, and bypass, and the post-op instructions for each. Then the nutritionist came in and discussed diet for the surgeries. After this, we had a break before we saw the surgeon. Immediately we sat down and looked at each other and started asking what the other thought in the hopes that we each felt the same way; the sleeve was the right way to go, but we have more questions for the surgical team. We went into the room to meet one on one with the surgical team members and told my story, expressed our concerns, and asked questions. Everyone on the team agreed that the sleeve was a much better choice in my situation then the band. I was fighting against too much and that I need to be able to change my body's chemical makeup (this will happen naturally when part of my stomach is removed) in order for there to be significant change. Final decision made: Gastric Sleeve. Within the next two weeks, I had my psychiatric evaluation and had hospital records from an Endoscopy sent to UVA. The insurance authorization processes for Bariatric Surgery had begun before I even met the surgeon. Now all I could do was wait. It took every bit of three weeks to get the psych eval results and four page document stating at the end that "...bariatric surgery is recommended..." was sent to the insurance company and UVA. Two weeks after that I was called with insurance approval and set a date to meet with the surgeon one more time and to have an gallbladder ultrasound. The appointment went very well and all of my presurgery labs and x-rays were done, we met with the anesthiaology nurse, and a date was set. On January 20, 2014, I will have the Gastric Sleeve, a Hiatal Hernia Repair, and my Gallbladder removed! Every day it gets closer and every day I get a little bit more nervous. I am not scared. I am just anxious. There is so much to do; train someone to do my job at work (I'm a total control freak over this and it is not easy to let go); get my house and finances in order; get my important paper work in order (you never know what could happen); buy all the necessary post-op stuff; etc. It will all get done (I hope!), and if not, it will just have to wait till I recover enough to do it (again, hard to let go)! Friday they will call me with the time to report to UVA and time of surgery. As anxious as I am, I could not be more excited!

Got the Date! Surgery on 1/20/14! I have been pushing and pushing for this all to be done before the end of 2013 for insurance reasons, but that didn’t happen. It is OK; I will just have to spend a bit more. When the nurse looked over my chart she said “Wow. You were just here in Nov.” I didn’t realize until I go the surgery date what a whirlwind this has been. I got the referral sometime mid-October, first apt with the bariatric surgery team was 11/7/13. I got my psych eval (the longest part of the processes) on 11/12/13 and now have a surgery date of 1/20/14! I am super excited and stressed out! There is so much to get done in 2 weeks. I am getting a Hiatal Hernia repair and my Gallbladder removed too, so I may be out a little longer than anticipated. I have to train someone to do my work while I am away from my job. I need to get the house in order (pet sitter for the 2-3 days in the hospital, bills paid, etc.). I am so happy to start 2014 this way. I am ready for my life to change. I am hoping and praying (good vides or whatever it takes) that this will alleviate some of my pain and help improve my quality of life. OK, I know I have a lot riding on the outcome of this surgery, but I also know that if it does not help in the ways I am expecting, I can say that I have tried everything! Oh yeah….I have to go to the grocery store too!

January 2, 2014 - Pre-op, gallbladder scan, and set surgery date (they will do the sleeve, hernia repair, and possibly remover my gallbladder) I have been waiting (not so patiently) for this day, but now it is here and I am getting nervous. Wonder if I can really do this. Will this be a very painful and long recovery? Will I miss the food? Don't get me wrong; these are not second thoughts. Just things running through my mind. I am super excited to start the next part of my life. Please tell me I am not alone in having these feelings/thoughts.....

Hi everyone! I am looking for opinions on which calorie counting and fitness tracking app to use. Anyone use one they think is really helpful? Thanks so much for helping with this.

OK....11/7/13 I went to the bariatric surgery class and to meet the nutritionist and surgeon. On 11/12/13, I had my psych eval. Now I wait. It is killing me. I know that sometimes this takes a long time, but I have been very prepared and got things done very quickly. All they are waiting on - they being insurance - is my psych eval. It has been 2 weeks and do not have the results yet. I hate that it is out of my hands and I can not do anything else to help this process move forward. I am trying so hard to sit on my hands and not call the psych office, the surgeon's office, or the insurance co. and ask what is going on. This is defiantly the hardest part so far......waiting...waiting....waiting....

As someone who has not been banded yet, how do you know when you are ready to return to work? ready for exercise?

Everything I have read says 5 days to 7 days (a week) or less for recovery. I have already started banking my hours for when I get the green light for surgery and right now I have 5 days of banked sick time and over a week of earned time. Everyone is different though. Different pain tolerance, there could be other medical factors, what type of work you do could keep you out longer....it seems that you just need to do what is right for you and your body. I think I better keep banking time just in case! I hope you a very easy return to your normal routine!!

Thank you so much for the support. Some of what was said is making me tear up. I had these same fears when I was thinking of quitting smoking. What am I going to do with myself? But, I have been smoke free for almost a year (Jan 1,2014) and it is getting much easier. I totally open to any suggestions that anyone might have....ex) walk down the hall and work and not want to stop and every person's candy dish...... It is funny how your mind works...things that are good positive changes can scare the tar out of you!

What a great reason for getting the band! I can not imagine how hard it must be to have to tell your kids that you can't do something with them or for them. Congrats on taking a huge step toward where you want to be!

Hi countrysweet! I have not started any pre-op diet (or even have a date or approval yet), but I wanted to tell you to look at all of the support you have here and listen to what they have to say. Your body can do what it wants and it is more then likely NOT going to do what the person's next to you is doing. I was on a prescription drug for 6 months to loose weight and all I read was how wonderful it is and how much weight they lost....I lost 15 stinking pounds! I am beyond frustrated. Remember, stress can make your weight fluctuate and looking at the numbers can cause a whole bunch of stress. I understand how you must be feeling and know you need to just hang in there. Things will look up; you are just beginning your journey!

I do not ever know when (or if) I will be able to get the surgery and I know I don’t need to be so stressed about it, but something is really bothering me. I think I might be a food addict. I’m like 99.9% sure I am, and I am an emotional eater. Eat when I am sad, happy, stressed, bored….etc.etc. Well I know you will not be as hungry and it will only take a tiny bit to be full, but what about all the other times you eat when you are NOT HUNGERY. I don’t know how I am going to fight those urges to eat after the band. Also, I quit smoking in Jan and pretty much replaced that habit with gum. According to the papers from UVA, I can’t chew gum anymore. How will I keep from eating when I would normally chew gum? I know I can’t be alone with this issue. I you have the band already, how is it different? Do you have to fight all of those urges to eat or are they gone? How do to fight it? If you have not had the surgery, do you have the same fear as I do? I may be stressing way too much about this, but any little bit of information y’all can share will be appreciated.

Congrats! I hope you feel better soon. Why are they keeping you over night? I hope all it well.

I received a giant stack of forms that I need to fill out and take with me to my first appt. I have read over it and am having serious anxiety over filling it out. It is just a very extensive questionnaire about my history. Couple concerns.....it ask you to check what diets you have tried and it has a list about a page and half long. One of them is vomiting/not eating and on the next page is ask "Have you ever tried vomiting to loose weight?". Can I answer this honestly? Of coarse I have, when you are young and stupid you will do anything, even if you know better. It did not last long and was not constant, just here and there. I am afraid to say yes and them think that I am not stable to have surgery. Also, they ask for names of diet pills you have tried. I started trying pill some time in the 90s. I can't remember the names and most of them are not even on the market anymore. In another place is ask you to tell them how the "following people in your life feel about your surgery". It list children, partner, parents, friends....well, my husband could not be more supportive, I have no kids, but one of my stepdaughters is just like her dad and behind me 100% (we do not have much to do with the other 2 unfortunately). The other people is where I have concern...no one knows and I want to keep it that way. I do not feel like I should have to tell anyone and I afraid that will make me look unfit for surgery. I will more then likely tell my mom after the date is set, but no other family. I will probably tell my best girlfriend after it is all set-up. I am sure that the people I choose to tell will be supportive, I am not ready to tell them. I might not ever be approved by insurance....why do they need to know. The more I read over it, the more stressed I am getting. Maybe I am thinking too much. Anyone have any words of wisdom? Please.

I am worrying about the documentation too! I called my insurance and all they would tell me is that they needed my medical history. I assume they mean they need to know about weight loss supervised by PCP. Well he is the one that referred me and he followed me from 1/13 (actually before) until last month on a weight loss drug (with disappointing results). I am hoping that this will count. I find it hard to believe that everyone that has this surgery has had monthly or more apts will an MD for diet. I don't think them telling you to loss the weight every single time you see a MD is what they are looking for. LOL Who made the referral to the surgeon or does you insurance not require one? Would they have documentation of weight?

I am getting so nervous about the insurance auth. I really thought it was not a big deal. My PCP wrote the referral and they should just say OK. Not that easy, I know.; I just did not realize it was as hard as I am reading about. I was on Qsymia for 6 months while followed and documented by my PCP. I have had all of the notes and the Band referral sent to my insurance already (I know they say at the surgeons office that they will take care of it, but I do not want anything to fall trough the cracks....OK...a lil'bit of a control freak). I am hoping that this will count as the 6 month part, maybe? I thought I was going to be able to get this done by the end of the year, but it appears that will not be happening. I have all these forms to fill out and a questionnaire that I am terrified to do. What if I say the wrong things? Psych eval!?! I knew that this would be happening, but again, what if I say the wrong things? I am probably stressing too much, too early, but I can't help it. This seems to be taking forever. Maybe because I am excited...nervous...excited...anxious...(repeat and repeat again)

OK. Here goes...... I think I should say a little something about myself since I am reading all about y'all. I got my referral from my PCP on 10/16/13 and go for my orientation/class, meeting with insurance counselor, and first apt with the surgeon/team on 11/7/13. I am going to UVA (University of VA) and am not sure who my surgeon will be yet (because it is a teaching hospital). I have been overweight my whole life and I am sure like many of you I have struggled to control it. I know I have a food addition...more like sugar addiction. I have tried so many different things; most recently I tried a drug called Qsymia with no results. It has been very frustrating. Add the fact that I have some other medical issues that have developed in the last few years and between the conditions and the meds, the weight keeps piling on. What made me decide to have the surgery is that my PCP (and my Rheumatologist) told me that loosing the weight would make me feel better. Less pain can't be a bad thing and I am willing to do almost anything to get there. I am realistic; I know that loosing weight is not a "cure all" for my medical issues or for emotional ones. I am very excited to start this journey and am happy to have found a community to share it with. I have a great support system at home, but they will not understand everything my body and mind are going through. I have found inspiration and knowledge here and want to thank you all. Sharing your stories have helped someone (me) and I look forward to sharing my journey with the hope of helping someone too.