Superfluous

How do you figure out where a COE is? Is there an online listing or something?

Whenever I am doubting this journey that I am on, or feeling like it's too extreme a measure to take to get healthier, I try to reflect on what my life has been like as an obese person. As shameful as it is to think about these things, it really strengthens my resolve to take control of my life and my health. Maybe it will help others, too. I am tired. I am tired of... - having to buy clothes solely from catalogs or website - having to think "Can I fit? Can I walk that distance? Will I bump something if I try to squeeze through there?" - having my kids assume I ate the last of ANYthing in the house - not doing things or going places because of how I look - having difficulty getting clean - losing my breath over the simplest physical movements - aching all over my body - having sleep apnea - not being able to be a passenger on my husband's motorcycle because I'm too heavy - assuming that anytime someone treats me poorly, it's because I'm fat - the looks of pity...or, even worse, disgust - knowing that, as much as he loves me, my husband doesn't find me attractive - feeling like such a failure because I don't have "any willpower" or "If you just tried such-and-so you could lose weight" - being constantly aware of my body I'm sure y'all could add your own.

I would consider those places Chicago area. I'm in western IL.

Keep seeing Chicago area. Any groups for Non-Chi sleeves?

Use wondering, as I have some prescriptions I need to continue to take for life.

I'm dealing with a great deal of shame about my decision to have surgery and I'm struggling with how much to share with people both before surgery and after. What are your experiences?

I am pre-sleeve but a concern I have (I haven't had the chance to ask the doctor about this yet) is that I am a VERY forceful vomiter. By that I mean, when I get a stomach bug and have to vomit, I regularly pull abdominal muscles, burst blood vessels in my face and eyes, and sometimes (*shudder*) poo while vomiting. I've always been this way. My concern is, once I've healed from the surgery, will my forceful vomiting be an issue for my new, tiny stomach?