ThisButterfly81

September 18th!! So excited!! 3week pre op diet tho! Lol!

I know I'm new here and still don't have my surgery date scheduled yet but this is what one thinking of. First, I have my brother as an example and he's the one that talked to me about getting this done as he did in Oct 2012. I've watched his quality of life get better and relationship with his wife and kids get closer! Here's what I'm doing! I think of how I feel now...fat, lazy, ugly, inhibited to do the things I want to do in the way I want to do them, I think back on the day several years ago where I got on a roller coaster with my nephew and couldn't fit...the workers tried and tried and gave up and I had to walk the walk of shame off the ride as everyone that was waiting on the ride watched!!! Totally completely feeling like I was the largest person ever!! I'm not saying u feel like me but these are the things that are driving me forward! I finally got to the place where I had to admit...I can't do this without help....and it's not easy for me to give up control! I've started to sorta "train" now. I'm juicing, and not drinking with meals, finding things I can have later that are perfect ounce sizes and trying them now to make sure I like them! Lol! Training my mind when I go out to eat that this will be changing and packing half my food for later. Am I 100% on things...nope! But I'm preparing myself! In the end I think of my life now and how I feel and how I want to feel and will feel, wear what I want and not have clothes hurt sometimes! Feel healthy, pretty, like a woman! Right now I feel just...well like a shape! Round! Lol! It's gonna be a challenge, some major changes, some work! But I've trained myself to be how I am now so I can retrain myself! The trial is outweighed by my confidence and self esteem enhancing to come! Hope this helps! We are here for each other!! Sorry I'm so chatty tho, lol!! :-)

I'm in CT! Going to my first meet up with Dr. Gedeon on the 27th! So excited! And anxious!