Mell

Just trying to find some peeps close to me!

Oh wow. It appears I become quite chatty when nervous lol. please forgive all the books I'm sure I'll be writing on here

Thank you guys so much! I've never done any kind of forum or message board or anything before so it's super cool how many people responded. Red, youre exactly right, it's the permanence of it thats freaking me out I think. Cuz if it's wrong, it's wrong forever. Yikes. I think about my sister alot too though.she and I have always been the big ones in our family, and I almost feel kinda guilty that she'll have to be "the fat one" now, as she put it. shes def not making me feel guilty, thats all me. Jesus. This is bringing out way more baggage than I thought. I'm gonna need therapy lol. I am def going to keep involved here while this whole thing happens, I already kinda feel better talking about it. Laters!

Everything is together finally and I'm scheduled for my sleeve surgery on the 28th of next month. I am beyond nervous. Things that are making me anxious: am I making the right decision, what if I don't lose as much as I need/want to, what if something happens, what if I'm miserable for the rest of my life, what if I lose a bunch of weight and turn into some kind of crazy bar *****....what if what if what if. Arrrg! Someone lie to me and tell everything is gonna be fine!