lisacaron

You look amazing! Thank you for sharing your a true inspiration!!

@@SillyAuntDi you rock D!!!!

Hell yes you can!

@@gowalking you are so right that we need to put ourselves first and not last or at least somewhere in there. I don't do that. For the first time in a long time I really had to sit with myself. I vented a bit and poor hubby he's a rock he had to deal with me. I can be a bit of a Tsunami when I get going. I have an adrenaline issue and it's not easy to contain once you set it off...it just has to wind it self out. As I've gotten older I have learned to take a breath and not get consumed by the storm. In my younger days...oh boy...I could take down Tokyo just by blinking an eye So I took a deep breath and did some real thinking, and took some bold steps that needed to be taken for better or worse. It was a work situation that finally pushed me over the edge, but I realized that it applied to all the rest of my life as well. I was allowing myself to be abused by no one other then myself!! Here I am causing tilde waves and destroying all my hard work in the bat of an eye and the only person I was punishing was myself!! I don't know why I never understood that before...why I couldn't stop the self destructive behavior...why I spilled the milk and then cried about it for days and days...but something clicked in my brain yesterday and it took me some time...but I see where I have been doing myself wrong all this time!! Where I was hiding from myself in plain sight and I never bothered to really take a look. Once I did I understood that It was time to stand up for Lisa to speak up to draw the line in the sand and take care of her. No one else was going to do it, I had to do it for myself, and I have to make that the priority every day. Not just to worry about what I am eating and when, but to take care of ME in all the ways that matter equally if not more then those outside bits that face the world every day. Yes it matters what I eat, when I eat and how sure 100% but it also matters if I get enough sleep and not just shut my eyes for 8 hours but really rest and restore my mind and body. It doesn't matter if I get to the gym or not but it matters how much I move in the day and how much I sit still. It matters how many hours I spend frowning at my computer screen and how many hours I spend smiling and laughing with friends and family. It matters who I spend my time with, and why. All these things matter in how I value myself, and I realize that I wasn't at all, and if I don't value myself in the highest why should anyone else? Holy long post again!!! Feel's good

Today my friends I have thoughts of commitment and support on my mind. Looking up the word Commitment you can define and live it in two ways: 1. the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc. 2. an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action. I like to think that I live my life according to the first definition of the word. I am a very committed person. When I make a promise or say I am going to do something I do it. No matter how many obstacles are in my way I find a way around over under through them. Yes I can pull blood from a stone, I have done it! What I realized is that I do all these things for everything and everyone but myself! When it comes to me to Lisa, the definition that best defines me is number 2. I commit myself to so much that I am a prisoner of my own dedication. I have been committed like someone who is locked up only I punished myself and I committed (check it out there is that word again!) no crime. Then again...I have committed (that word again) the biggest of crimes against myself! This is my trap. I know better, trust me friends I really do. I can talk circles around why this and that, and make excuses for all the things in my life and you would all sit there and say but hey those are good reasons! In fact they are reasons that if I sat here and told you about them you might even think I was writing a novel and making this shit up, but trust me I would tell you that I only wish I was. There are days when I feel like I have PTSD just from all the events I have had to deal with and I still keep going even when I want just throw a tantrum. So over the past few weeks I have been going a bit off the rails either not eating anything, or just giving into that temptation for this freaking ice cream I found that I love and am now addicted to. I'm sure it's because it's summer it's been hot and I have been super bummed. I don't know if I have lost any weight, I don't think I have gained any either but that's not the point. I am not taking care of myself. Woman can't live on Ice-cream and pistachio nuts alone. If you would meet me on the street today or at work today or even speak to me on the phone...ladies and gents you would never know or be able to tell...maybe if you knew me "really" well you might see something in my eyes but I am so practiced at this poker face I should go back to being a Casino dealer! (Yes I may be only 43 but I have had more carriers and "adventures" in my life then most people who live to be 90 maybe the next one should be as a writer where I put it all out there...maybe someday) I'm putting this all out there today, because I need to break the chains of commitment I need to redefine this for myself. So I started looking and thinking about what the word SUPPORT means. By definition: As a Verb Support means: 1. bear all or part of the weight of; hold up. 2. give assistance to, especially financially; enable to function or act. As a Noun: 1. a thing that bears the weight of something or keeps it upright. 2. material assistance. Now oddly enough these two things whether they are actions or descriptions are pretty much the same. I find that I fall into both of those categories and would define myself again more as number 1 then number 2 but I can identify with both and often times I am both and I am doing both!! I'm not sure what is worse!! Today I define myself as being committed to being the support for everything and everyone but myself!! This is an observation not a complaint.It's an observation I have made before but never with such definition and clarity when it comes to myself. Mostly I just see it and move on and keep on keeping on for the sake of all that needs to be done and someone to do it. Who nominated me Wonder Woman? I don't live on Paradise Island and I don't have an invisible jet to fly away when I need a break....or do I? Maybe that's my problem...maybe I just forgot where I parked that bitch!! So maybe that's my ticket, I need to put down the ice cream bar untangle that lasso from around myself and stop trying to save the world single handed! I need to stop trying to be the one that does everything all the time, and try to remember that I am human and not some super hero. My strong points are not asking for help, I'm better at doing it for myself then I am at asking for help. I think it's because I have been let down and disappointed so often that I don't feel the need to put my hand out there just to have it be left hanging or worse bitten off. It's not a fear, because I would not be sitting here writing this long ass post. I am out of practice, and I don't know about you all but do you find that people in the world today are just not willing to be committed and supportive of each other? I don't mean just here on our WLS boards, if I thought that I would not be posting this here or sharing this with you all I'm just speaking in general in all phases and scopes of life out there. I think I have become hardened to believe that the only person you can count on is yourself, and you just can't rely on or depend on others....finding truly committed supportive people is like finding diamonds in the rough. Thank you all my gems here for reading these very personal revelations as long as this post is...and for offering all your insights. This is one of the few places I feel that I am able to open up and be more vulnerable, and share what my deepest thoughts are. My hubs is amazing but it's not healthy to always unload all my frustrations on him, and honestly he suffers from these conditions as much as I do. We need to redefine commitment and support in our lives, and start applying that same level to ourselves as we do for others. We have it on lock in our relationship with each other, it's the relationships we have in the world with work, and family and other commitments (ah that word is everywhere in my life!) and my big issue is using food to medicate and balm the wounds of disappointment that I need help with. I'm guilty of bad habits friends...not eating, not taking care of my body's nutritional needs, the need for proper rest and exercise, and eating things that while they aren't "bad" aren't good for me either.

I'll tell you all a secret...when I was at my lowest point in my life. Large Lisa... 3 kids, broken and defeated getting a divorce after 20 years of marriage with the (I call him the idiot) since I was 15. Literally broken, sick possibly with what doctors thought was ovarian cancer at the time, I threw his ass out to the curb my kids and I deserved better. I spent all those years miserable and sad and trying to make a prince out of frog. If I was gonna die it was not gonna be miserable..then I thought OMG who would want this heffer?! I had nothing going for me..there was lots of self defeating talk. I have this steel spine and titanium balls I keep in a box...(only kidding) but something would not let me give up or lie down and die. I told no one what was going on until one day at work I broke, from the stress couldn't take it anymore and you know what? The girls from work (all of them in their 20's and looked like Victoria Secret Models!) they were about 10 years younger then me at the time signed me up for those dating sites!! I wanted to choke them or at least sit on them and brake some ribs or something but in the end, I swallowed my fears and someone asked me to meet them...so that first date got dressed and met the dude at Starbucks. OK not my type..but I did it!!! Then I did it again...and I learned it's just like going shopping, you just need to know what you are looking for and what you want. Sometimes you have to try on a few sizes, designers, and colors till you find the perfect fit one that compliments who you truly are! I met my hubby on Yahoo personals 8 years ago and we have never looked back!! I'm telling you ladies, gentleman don't stress it. Put yourself out there, put your the intentions out there, be honest with yourself and others, shop wisely, and don't settle for anything less than perfect There is love and lots of fun out there and you all deserve it! This is one of the greatest group of people I have had he pleasure to share my life and time with! Love ya!!

Hi All I live in Patchogue and I host the NY-LI Bariatric Pal support groups! I wanted to have a meeting out here on Long Island this August, and then I was in a car accident and hurt my back and neck pretty badly. I'm on the mend and getting back into the swing of things again. There are so many of us out here, I'd love to put a group together! Any idea's for a venue that you might like to meet at? I was thinking maybe the Patchogue Library, or even the one in Mastic. Let me know your thoughts.

Love you gals, and I have to run to a meeting...never much time these days between work and what not!! Lizzie you know my story and honey, I know you think I am this big anomaly and not everyone thinks like me...OK I have my insecurities too I just don't let them bother me If I can go out there and find love and a good man and you have met my Ken, love is out there for you too!! Just be your awesome self, enjoy the date. Leave the judgement on the table, sometimes people talk because they are nervous don't be afraid to try it again even with the same dude...just in another setting and if it's bad twice then it's bad Let me tell ya I went out with a guy...he was like a Chihuahua titchy and moving and jumpy and yappy..and well he was like that all the time couple of dates and I just couldn't take it lol!!! Have fun!! talk soon off to meetings I will try not to snore or yell too loudly in !

@@kandiB 150 So for me the gurgle happens when my band is feeling super tight. I can feel the food make that gurgle sound as it moves past the band. Think of your tub when you take the stopper out...and the Water starts moving down the drain...you can hear that gurgle gurgle. For me it's kind of like that, and it happens if I drink too fast, or eat too fast or if I drink right after a bite that hasn't fully past the band and things start to stack up in there. Even if we have been long term banders and we know we should sip, and we should eat slowly, take small bites, and chew chew chew...I think the way our life styles are busy busy rush rush rush, I know I can forget and the gurgle is the first sign that I better get back to good eating mechanics cause the next thing is the slimes, and the stuck and the swelling of the band and misery for a couple of days So heed the gurgle, sometimes it's just trapped air but most times..it's cause we are not following good eating mechanics when we have good restriction in our bands.

@@stay75 I will be 100% honest with you. After my surgery I felt GREAT! I had all this energy and I was out and driving my car in three days going to pick my husband up from the hospital after he was banded, and my surgeon came out into the waiting room and told me I should be home RESTING!!! Everyone at the hospital was shocked to see me there but I felt GREAT!!! Now I am an over doer all the time, so it was nothing surprising to me and I thought I could handle it. Well that night I got him and myself home and the next day one of my incisions were infected. The seat belt rubbed against it, and then I went back to work right after and the desk was hitting it and I wish I had done what everyone above is telling you now. Take the time to heal after the surgery!! Do it over the schools winter break or holiday, break. You need at least a couple of weeks to heal and allow for that rebound affect that happens. You may be like me and feel amazing after surgery and then rebound and be exhausted like I was. Then again you might be exhausted right up front and then feel better in a few days, but no matter what take the time to heal. Even though your outside heals inside still has a ways to go. Your doing the right thing for your health, do it all the way That's just my 2 cents.

@@JustWatchMe OK lady I know this is about colon health and it's really important but thanks for the laugh! I saw the post title and I have been chuckling ever since! I just adopted a couple of puppies so it's all about poop for me these days but not my own!!! That's the reason for the laughter, and listen after a rough week at work a good Friday afternoon laugh and even a poop is great! As far as my habits go...I don't worry about if it floats, deep dives or sails off into the sunset. If I have one every day I am a happy lady! I try to get some fruits and vegies in but for me it's getting the Water in that can really help or hinder the situation. I will have a western egg white omelet at least once a week and that helps get the Protein and the fiber in even in a small amount.

@@copper146 Every day is a chance for a fresh start! For that matter every moment we breathe is a chance to make a choice and to choose to take care of ourselves. Shame while a very valid feeling is a reaction to an emotion that defines how we feel about ourselves and our value in the world. To say that you are ashamed is to say that you feel less then worthy, that you are not as important as another. The truth is that you are VERY important! You are as important as the most important person you can possibly think of! To you and those you love you are even more important. As a VIP you deserve that very special treatment and extra TLC!! It's not a gift or a luxury it is your right! (As it is for everyone who is reading this post! You too are a VIP and you deserve extra special treatment and TLC) Changing our habits as TMF said starts within. We can't change our outside if we don't change what's on the inside. If we put ourselves down and keep telling ourselves that we are failures then that is what we will be, so even if you don't believe it mind body and soul today, start telling yourself that you special and you are worthy and you are a VIP! The first step should be to forgive yourself, not to punish yourself. You are where you are, no shame there. If you want to be someplace else, and your ready to get there take the first step. Give your doc a call, let them know you've been hanging out in one spot for a bit, and your ready for a reset and to start moving forward on your journey. Let them give you a thorough check to make sure your band is all good and in working order and maybe tweak the fill if you need it. Then take it back to band basics. Start again as if you just got your band that day. Once in a while when I find myself going off the rails for what ever reason, for me it's mostly stress and drama in my life. I will "reset" mind and body and go back to the basics. I'll do a day of Protein shakes and liquids, and move to soft foods and practice taking the small bites using my knife and fork. Eating in places that are appropriate for eating like the kitchen/dining room table and not in front of the TV or at my desk working. It really helps me to reset my mind to get back to what I want to achieve with this band and why I had this surgery to begin with. This space right here at Bariatric Pal is a great place to start! This is a HUGE community of people who are caring and supportive of each other so check in often when your doing great, not so great or just feel like saying Hi! Best of luck to you!!

Sending you some prayers, and positive vibes! Welcome to bandland!!

Glad to read that you are doing well Terry and that everything worked out well!!

@@Dreah Give your doctor a call. Two months is a long time not to be able to hold food down. You don't damage to your stomach or esophagus from the band being too tight. Give them a call ASAP and have them check that things are OK and see if they can do a barium swallow or fluoroscope to see what's going on in there. Let us know how your doing!

$20 that's a bargain I would keep it just for that! You can wear it anywhere.

Awesome a nice vacation and when you come back you will have some good news about your surgery and the start of a new journey for you!

@@tomeof Not getting in enough Protein and Water can totally zap your energy. Even though many of us have fat stores that our body could be pulling from for energy it doesn't know how to do that and it's looking for the usual intake of food that it has become accustomed to. It will take time, and you don't want to lose muscle so get that protein in one way or another and keep up the water even if you have to sip it every minute or so. It's easy to become dehydrated and that can make you weak and tired as well as give you headaches and make you dizzy. Find a good chewable multivvitamin as well. You can do it! Give yourself some time to rest and relax but work on taking good care of yourself as well, if your not feeling a little more like yourself soon give the doctor a call and check in with them. Let us know how your doing!

@@HVNLYMORNING I hope you did go and get yourself checked out. Even though you don't like to hear that you spent your time and there is nothing wrong with you that is really the best news ever! Have them take an x-ray to make sure your band and your port/tubing are all well and good. An x-ray should also show if you have any kind of blockage. There could be 101 reasons for the pain you got that have nothing to do with your band as well and could be serious or not so serious. Error on the side of caution and see the Dr. Let us know how your doing.

So I can totally relate to what Yummy was trying to say "in a way". When I looked at friends who had lost massive amounts of weight some of them older some of them younger. Some of them losing more weight then I would need to and some of them less. In their faces I could see this Skelator look. They had the hollow eyes and cheeks and thin lips and when they were dressed up in their shape wear and had their make up they looked awesome..but that was a lot of work to good! When they didn't do all that...I was scared. I thought hell I might as well stay fat and look young and enjoy my curves and plump figure. I started having issues and getting sick and my weight was the reason...and it was time to shed some pounds. I asked these friends and I started my research, and I found that those that lost the weight by crash dieting and not eating nutritious food but starved their bodies to lose weight were the Skelators. Those that lost the weight quickly in 10 pound buckets or more at a clip were the Skelators, and I knew that I didn't want to go that route and I used that to hide behind keeping my weight where it was. Then I started to get sick and my husband was also experiancing weight related issues. There was no way to hide it that to be healthy I needed to lose the weight and I needed help to do it. So we prepared for weight loss surgery and signed up together to lose the weight and do it as healthy as possible. All of a sudden I found myself looking for saggy skin and wanting it!!! I wanted to see some skin sag! I wanted that belly to deflate and hang! It's a bit uncomfortable...and yeah I can see a tummy tuck in my future, but I work on it as best I can. I go to the gym at least 5 days a week I weight train and tone I do my crunches and I suck that belly into the shape wear to keep gravity from having it's ugly way with it and stretching it out more! But I love my saggy skin!!! It's motivation for me, I see it and I know I have lost that weight! I see it and I think just like my High School diploma...no one needs to see it but I earned it! Eventually I will find a way to give it up and tuck it away, cause when I reach that point that I am at goal and maintained that goal I will have earned that too!!! Oh and no I didn't turn into Skelator! The only times my eyes look sunken in is because I have circles under them from not enough sleep, cause I am so busy running around enjoying life!! No fatness for me! I loved my body when I was fat but it didn't love me back. Today I love my body with all my sags, bags and bat wings, and it loves me back by taking me everywhere I want to go with out pain, and sickness!

What a transformation! You look awesome! This is one week after surgery???!!!! That's GREAT your giving me confidence and hope for the future!

eggs are more for the soft food stage, but you could try something like egg drop Soup if you like that. I did not eat any mashed potatoes or anything like that, because of the carb content and there isn't much nutrition to it. You can do things like meatballs and sauce, mash them up and enjoy. You can get chunky Soups and smooth them out. Flaky fish is another great choice, things like flounder or tilapia that can be mushed up with some lemon sauce or tartar sauce (go easy with this one if it's not light) During these stages your goals are not to lose weight but to heal, that said however you don't want to start eating ice cream and mashed potatoes and gain weight. In the mornings, Greek yogurt with fruit is great. Chobani was my favorite at the time, it was high in Protein, no sugar, and low calorie. I think Dannon now makes one that is even lower in calorie but still high in protein. You want to try and eat things that have a high protein content right now, and always choose that protein first over the fruits and vegetables. Your body is healing after surgery, and you are going to need the extra protein to help that healing process and prevent muscle loss, and worst of all hair loss. When you do move to eggs, I found the easiest ones to eat were scrambled or egg whites. Always eat slowly and chew chew chew. The mushy stage will move quickly to soft foods it's really giving you the chance to heal a bit more and work on those eating mechanics so as you go forward you won't experience PB's sliming or worse a stuck episode.

@@JenSul what you said makes total sense. Even though we know all the right choices, if we could make them and follow those good eating habits unassisted we would not be on this site Once you have your tool you will see that it does get easier to make the better choices. Your tool is just that a tool that will help you tailor your choices as you learn to work and live with it. The best thing that you are doing pre-op is recognizing and understanding your habits and where those pit falls are for you. You are laying out the course for your journey and while you may fall into one or two of those pot holes along the way, you will have an understanding of them and will be able to navigate out of and around them more effectively then someone who isn't doing that work pre-op and is thinking that once they have surgery all the work is done for them and they don't have to do anything but lose weight. Some of pit falls can be favorite foods, emotional eating, cultural eating (think of things like holiday treats and meals or special occasion foods like birthday cake) even the idea of the fast food culture we live in today is a big pitfall for me. I work all day long, those that know me could say 24/7 with some nap time thrown in Who has time to plan a meal and cook it?! but taking the time to make the time and carve that out for myself and my husband has resulted in greater nutrition for us, as well as better weight loss and compliance with our WLS tool. Now don't get me wrong I still love that fast food, but I don't frequent McDonalds or Burger King or even Taco Bell. I can make "fast" food at home, and have something for lunch the next day so that takes the thinking out of the day for me. (it also helps that the hubs is a fireman and cooks!!!) Your not doing anything wrong, get yourself a note book or scratch pad and take some notes on your eating habits. I love the 4 W's. Who do you eat with? What do you eat? Why are you choosing that? Where do you eat? they tell us lots about ourselves and our habits, and then if you get to the How you eat? Do you gobble, shovel, watch TV, read etc. All those things will change after WLS, but if you can define them now you will know after how to modify them.

My favorite thing when I was on mushy foods to blend was a Wendy's chilli or even my own turkey chili. I was so sick of sweet things by that time that a nice change up was great! i eat Tuna salad and chicken salad now all the time without bread or lettuce or anything. I just make a small cup of it and eat it with a fork. I don't eat bread at all anymore, once in a while I might take a bite or two of some toast but that's it.

@@JenSul what @@gowalking posted is right on the money! Now is the time to wrap your mind around all these things. Now is the time for learning, and making mistakes. When you have your surgery you don't want to make mistakes then because your new tool will let you know in a BIG way that your making mistakes. So now is the time for trial and error. Now is the time to eat what your eating, and realize that hey that's not what or how I should be eating once I have this surgery. Perfect! Your in the right place, you working through your issues and finding out where those food challenges have been hiding! Your discovering our sweet tooth, and now you know where it is, and knowing is half the battle. As for the food funerals, go easy on them. You will see that soon after your surgery all those "forbidden" foods that you thought you will NEVER eat again....will be right there and you will be able to eat them again! The difference after surgery will be that you will have a new outlook and understanding about those foods, and on food in general. You will know and even better understand that yes you can eat it, but with your new tool you will do so in moderation and in control. So keep on going friends, your on the right path!! Also remember from a nutritionists point of view....there is a big difference between eating food and nutrition. There are many people who are overweight, obese and even morbidly obese who are also malnourished. Having weight and an excess of weight does not mean we have good nutrition. Once you have WLS having good nutrition becomes a little more difficult, especially if you do not understand what that is and practice it before WLS. The reason for this is that after WLS you have a limited amount of space in which to consume food. The choice of food you consume is where the nutrition aspect comes in. Think about it this way, you could choose a 100 calorie ice cream sandwich or. a 100 calorie chicken breast. What is the nutritional value of the ice cream vs. the nutritional value of the chicken? The ice cream is going to taste better but it is more than likely loaded with chemicals, artificial sweeteners and flavors, that your body is going to digest and expel. The chicken breast is going to fill you up provide you with Protein that your body needs to repair muscle and provide energy to get you through your day. Given the small space you have to consume food the choice is very often one or the other...and this is where your understanding and practice of nutrition will come into play.