Miki71

[i]This is my first time contributing to a blog...[/i]
For as long as I can remember I have been overweight. I remember being 12 years, feeling selfconcious about my weight and refusing to wear a bikini (even though my mother insisted that I wasn't fat, just chubby). I have dieted since I understood what the word meant. My first diet was an herbal tea cleanse, I think I was 13. Needless to say it didn't work.

When I was 19 years old I was able to lose 25lbs after I had a heart-to-heart with a highschool teacher I admired. She was the first person to tell me that most of my unhappiness is stemming from my weight struggles. She was not being mean, just honest. She faced the same struggles with weight when she was younger. Anyway, that was when i joined the "Physician's Weight Loss Centre" and successfully lost 25lbs. I then backpacked around Europe and when I returned it didn't take long to gain 25lbs + more back. 4 years later I successfully lost 40lbs through dieting and a little bit of exercise. After I started dating (my now husband), complacency set it in and too many of our dates were spent dining out.

The last time I successfully lost weight was 11 years ago. This time I lost close to 45lbs. I exercised 45min/6 days per week. I more or less stayed this weight until the past year when my mother got sick and I gained almost all of the weight back.

Anyways, after ALOT of soul searching I decided that [u]I DO NOT WANT TO DIET ANYMORE[/u]!
[b]I NEED HELP![/b] After researching the lapband procedure, it took me close to 4 months to schedule an appointment at the SWLC. By then I was convinced that this was the best option for me.

My surgery has been scheduled for April 24th.
I started the shakes yesterday, and successfully completed my second day on shakes.

However, I am starting to get reallly scared about the surgery. After reading about the problems that people have had with the band I am beginning to question if I made the right decision. In my gut I don't regret signing up for this but I am afraid of the side effects and problems that may arise. :( It felt good to write about my fears. I am afraid to voice them to my husband (he's the only person that knows what I'm doing) because he's going to tell me not to go through with it if I am afraid.

[i]That's all. :unsure: [/i]