303Gal

Hey JGo. Don't worry about the dining out. You can still dine out at the same places. Of course, you may not be able to complete the meal, but that should be the least of your worries. Your focus should now be the conversation anyhow, not the food. And whatever you don't finish, you just take home and finish later. I mean, if it's a really good meal, you get to enjoy it multiple times. As for an all inclusive hotel, again, you may not consume as much at one time, but you will probably be hungry more often than your husband. This may help him incorporate 3-4 small meals as apposed to eating two massive meals like most of us use to do at all inclusive resorts and all you can eat buffets prior to wls.

For example, I love the buffets in Las Vegas. But the best buffets are $20. Of course, I can't eat that much food. But I found something that works for me. They have this deal in Vegas that I just found out about. For one price, you can enter and eat at several of the best buffets in Vegas for 24 hours! So, if I purchase this pass at dinner time, I can come back for Breakfast, lunch and dinner the next day. And if I just want a snack, I can enter for that too! Your all inclusive resorts are very similar. But whatever you do, DO NOT sabotage yourself just to make someone else comfortable with over eating. Seriously, in the past I've gone out to eat with others who didn't eat as much as I did, and that did not stop me from completing my meal. Once they were done, the focus was conversation. Once I was done, they wrapped their food and took it home... or not.

As for the activity, he'll either join you or not. Only if he is not secure in himself will he have a problem with your activity. Again, DO NOT sabotage yourself. And do not worry about it until you cross that bridge. We all have this same concern. But all you can do is reassure them that they have your heart and love, no matter what.

I was afraid I would not be able to go out to eat as much (we eat out 5 days a week) and hang out in sports bars... You know what - it has not changed a thing.... well perhaps some.
Our bill is half as much. I often eat just a portion of my dinner (so what). I do not drink any more, but still hang out in sports bars. We are regulars at one and they do not care. At a new place I just order a cranberry juice so it looks like I am drinking - or I just get a tea and tough luck to anyone that notices.
We are season ticket holders at the Texas Rangers. I have missed a handful of games, but am back to going to just over 1/2 of them (my usual rate). I have found things I can eat there and so I have those and just enjoy myself. It is the same as before, except that I eat 1/4 of my meal. SO WHAT!
The bottomline is that you can still do the things you love, just a bit differently. I am still the curmudgeonly old grump I have been for years - just smaller.
It will take some time for adjustment, but then you will get into a new routine. I think for everyone it is a bit different. We have been able to keep our lifestyle pretty much the same, others may have bigger changes. Either way, it all seems to work out.
the one thing that was very hard for me at first was the eating out since we do it so much. When choosing where to go I would always complain that I did not want to go here or there becuase I did not want to pay 20 for dinner and eat a tiny portion. Well, I have gotten over that. I used to pay 20, and I still pay 20. If I enjoyed it before I can enjoy it now. The fact that it is a waste - well, that is unavoidable. We share sometimes, or if we can, we get a to-go bag. Just remember you are spending no more than before, so enjoy the meal and have a good time.

My biggest fear is that this surgery will ruin my marriage. My husband is supportive and all (now), but will my lifestyle change affect my marriage to the point of no return? My husbaNd is a bigger gentleman, but not unhealthy. A lot of our lifestyle revolves around food. We have no children, so we indulge in vacation time, trying the new hip restaurants, even a few weeks ago we took a cooking class. When we first met, one of our connections was that we are not mountain bikers or hikers, in short, we are not terribly active. The thing is, I think I'm not active because I'm fat. So what if when I have the surgery and im thinner, I want to be more active and he doesn't? What if i dont want to waste time or money going to expensive restaurants since I will not be eating as much ( and not getting my money's worth) and it irritates him? Is our all inclusive vacation going to be a waste since i wont drink or eat so much? What if im just not fun anymore? :0( It saddens me to think this, but even my shrink said that relationships change when one makes such a big lifestyle change. Has anyone gone through this? Would like to hear good and bad stories, please. Thank you!

I did not have to do this twice, but I can understand your fear because I completely went through that. I was scared to death of surgery!! I almost walked out of the hospital the morning of surgery. I had to literally make myself put one foot in front of the other to go in. The funny thing was that afterward I realized it was so easy! They give you meds to make you calm when you get in there. One minute they are rolling you into the OR, then next they are waking you up to tell you are done and did great! All the things I feared or worried about were for nothing.
Okay, so now you are on day two of pre-op. Your shrink said there is nothing wrong with you mentally, so now it is just time to power through it. Here's what I did to help. I wrote down all the reasons I hated being fat. All the emotional tolls, all the practical things like having nothing that fits, etc., and all the scary health things that go with being overweight. It was a really long list. Then I wrote down all the things I was looking forward to being a healthier weight like keeping up with my kids, climing stairs, shopping in the regular stores, riding rollercoasters, etc. Also a very long list. Whenever I got scared or things got tough. I went back and read the list. It really helped keep me on track. Keep busy with other things during pre-op diet to keep your mind off food and your pending surgery. Go for walks, go do something fun with your husband, read a book, watch the Olympics, go to work etc. The first four days of pre-op diet are the hardest because your body is protesting the lack of sugar and carbs. Once those are out of your system, you stop craving them! Just keep reminding yourself that this is only a finite period of time. Once you have your surgery, you will no longer be hungry!!
It's going to be OKAY. You CAN DO THIS and YOU ARE WORTH IT! Hang in there and I will pray for you to successfully get through this and conquer your fears. Good luck and keep us posted.

I can understand your concerns and wanting to be fully prepared prior to going in. I will start by saying everyone is different in how things go for them post surgery. Also anyone having problems is more likely to post on here in the early days reaching out for support, so it may seem that there are a lot of problems for people in the first few weeks post op.
My experience was pretty good. I was terrified of having surgery, but my need for getting to a healthy weight overrulled my fears. I was pleasantly surprised at how easy that part went. Roll in to room, asleep before I even realized what was happening, woke up and was surprised to be done. I was off pain meds by the following morning. The effects of anesthesia and the pain meds were ganging up to make me very nauseous so I stopped the meds and felt sore, but manageable. I was miserable, day two in the hospital. Just tired, bored, hated the bed, nauseous. When I got over my pity party and really started walking, I started to feel a lot better. By day three, I felt really good and was sent home. Sipping Water was really hard in the beginning. I just really had to focus on SIPPING and not trying to drink. broth helped, but I would have to reheat it constantly because it took so long to get down that it would get cold. Protein shakes suddenly tasted terrrible to me (but I like them again now) and were really hard for me to get down. I could only drink an ounce the first day and slowly built up to four ounces. I found that each day got a little better. For me, pain and nausea were not an issue, but getting in the liquids was a chore. By the end of two weeks I was really craving texture and flavor of food so was happy to get to pureed. By week four I could drink all eight ounces of a Protein shake, but it still takes me about 30 minutes. I could only eat a few small bites of food before I was full. I am eight weeks out now and feel great. Making sure that I get all my Protein and water in is still a bit of a chore. It's really just a matter of planning well and executing the plan (both things I need to get better at) But the good news is that I have very few cravings. I have learned the signals of when I am full and when to stop. Sometimes, if something I am eating is really good, I am dissapointed that I had so little of it before I get full, but I get over it when I step on the scale and see the progress that I have made!
I hope this has helped a little. Like I said before, everyone's journey is different, but the common thread that I have seen on this forum from the veterean sleevers who are four months out and beyond is that most have seen incredible weight loss and are really happy they did it, despite some of the bumps and struggles along the way.

Thank you so much for sharing. It really helps. :-)